Comment from sgalletti

Exceptional

Hi Steve! I absolutely love the satiric tone you use throughout this piece. I truly miss reading your work as we have a similar sense of humor. I'm amazed this doesn't have a six star rating in the booth with all of the six stars you received.

On a personal note, I was a middle school teacher and headed up a $13 million grant by the USDOE to work in the most challenged middle schools throughout the US. We worked in very tough schools in NYC, Louisville, Texas and LA coaching teachers to use arts to help children understand difficult concept in content - think balance and algebra. The results were incredible, as is this poem.

I thank Yelena immensely for continuing to raise the bar on this site with this contest. I have entered it in the past and labored for weeks. I know how challenging it is to write a Crown. One of my crowns was actually at the top of the site's Top Poems for quite some time. After writing three, I decided to give it up.

But, I am reading all of these entries. Yours is terrific! I wish you the very best of luck.

Hugs, Sue

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 29-Mar-2014

Thanks, Sue.

Where've you been - we've missed you!

I made an early decision to do a humorous Crown and although I was quite pleased with the piece, I had my doubts whether it would do well in the booth.

As it turns out the standard was VERY high and alas, some reviewers (and probably a great many who didn't review) didn't really get this.

Steve

reply by sgalletti on 29-Mar-2014

I did! And, I'm back in a limited kind of way. But, will be teaching some classes soon. Want to join me? Hugs, Sue

Comment from GracieAnn

Excellent

kiwisteveh, this A Crown of Mock-Heroic Sonnets is extremely creative and allows the reader to take a succinct journey through life and to its full circle. All the best in the contest! :0 GracieAnn

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Mar-2014

Thanks, GracieAnn.

Steve

Comment from HL Pepper

Excellent

Oh man, 5 is as far as my choices go! I would try to double that but I am afraid I would have to subtract and make then start back at zero but if I added another couple of stars once or twice or better, thrice, you would think I am wise!

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Mar-2014

Now you're getting into the spirit of it.

I actually upset a couple of people who took this too seriously....

Steve

reply by HL Pepper on 25-Mar-2014

You know, I am so cautious now with reviewing and am almost there with posting my work because of some people. Everyone writes from their heart but if you don't like it, then don't slam it, just hit that skip button, that's what it is for! And maybe what the person says doesn't work on that particular piece, but process that information and maybe use it in the future. Now that was serious and I am worn out now, because I do non-serious much easier! I always appreciate your work but you need to give me a signal when you are serious because I may not catch on!! Have a great whatever time it is where you live. Pepper

Comment from Petriesan

Excellent

hmmmm, ok, I am inferior to you. . . .only 319. . . .ought to add in IQ/ / / /


as for the poem itself, it made me smile many times throughout

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2014

Thanks for reviewing.

Yes, of course there are a multitude of factors that are not covered - my system is just a piece of nonsense really, but I had fun with it.

Steve

Comment from Pili Pubul

Excellent

I refuse to take the test , don't need it... I study , I travel , I marry , I had and raised children , I buried one son, a husband and battle cancers , two , won one battle ... But I admire your poetic ability , you detail study, your sarcasm and sense of humor. Not sure I agree with your philosophy , but had fun with it. Pili

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2014

Thanks, Pili - of course this whole thing is just a joke and there is no point in taking the test - it proves nothing, which really is the point, so can I say that by not taking the test, you have passed the test!

I notice that the very next reviewer has roasted this as being offensive - so they have passed the test too!

Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Steve

reply by Pili Pubul on 24-Mar-2014

Oh boy , I am so glad I did with no effort LOL ... Thanks
Steve. Pili

Comment from barleygirl

Excellent

While your poetic skill is solid & mine is not, I cannot comment on your construction & crafting very intelligently. I'll stick to commenting on content. I know you've written this "tongue-in-cheek" but it's still offensive to me for the blatant bias toward people who have the good fortune to be able to do all the things necessary to "be wise." This piece gives no credence whatsoever to many other types of wisdom that living life can bring, even when you're too poor to go to school or travel, or maybe unlucky in love, etc. This is woefully one-sided & it's impossible for me to like it, even tho there are many valid points. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2014

BG - thanks for reading and reviewing - you are right to feel that the test is one-sided and biased and omits many things - that really is the point (if there is one) of the whole poem - all such tests are flawed, the numbers are meaningless. By spotting the meaninglessness of it, you have indeed passed my meaningless test, so congratulations.

Jonathan Swift wrote a treatise called 'A Modest Proposal' in which he 'solved' the problem of famine in Ireland by suggesting that poor Irish people sell their children for meat - offensive, yes, but it caused a sensation and successfully brought the problem to everyone's attention - even though he never meant a word of it!

Steve

reply by barleygirl on 24-Mar-2014

Whew! Thank goodness you're not endorsing this measurement system! In your notes, when you said you studied it for years, I thought you were 100% behind it. Now I know how people with cultural differences feel when taking "standardized" tests that are biased. It never hit me so hard, until I read this piece of yours.

reply by the author on 25-Mar-2014

Just my weird sense of humour - it's constantly getting me into trouble, even with my wife who's had 40+ years to work out when I'm joking.


No scientific research or training, no validation tests, just a warped idea hatched in an idle moment as a response to arrogant school kids (I'm a teacher) who think that they know better than you and that their way is the only way, their music the only music worth listening to etc.

Steve

reply by barleygirl on 25-Mar-2014

You just sparked an idea . . . kids who think their music is the only music (I remember thinking the same thing, except I STILL think "our" music is the best ever!)

Comment from Hollyhock

Exceptional

Oh yse, oh yes! I take my hat off to you and bow, not only to your wisdom but to the fount of inspiration, ingenuity and poetic awareness which can produce a piece like this.
Beautifully constructed with so many apt references and "unquotes", I particularly liked "for they know not what they say" and "that unforgiving minute". I don't know how long this creation would have taken you but well worth every minute and a real reflection of your rounded knowledge and experience of life and literature.
I think you will do better than third place with this!!

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2014

Thanks, Andrea.

I doubt your prediction (and remember I am very wise!) Have you seen the competition?!

Plus, this piece has had an interesting polarising effect - I have just answered one reviewer who found it deeply offensive and I suspect many others have steered away from it for the same reason. Who knows what the judges will think?

I guess I should take it as a compliment that I have got under people's skins.

Yes, I had some fun with it and thank you for spotting the 'unquotes'.

Steve

reply by Hollyhock on 25-Mar-2014

I don't know what I missed but I am amazed that anyone could find this "deeply offensive". You often write "tongue-in-cheek"
but there is always more than the superficial and so rewarding to respond to a lively mind which makes the most of what is on offer, in the world and in the Arts themselves. Andrea

Comment from Treischel

Excellent

Much truth and wisdom as well as humor in this creatively crafted Crown of Heroic Sonnet that covers the key aspects of life. Any Fanstorian who enters this contest successfully must be deemed Kish-Plus. Well written. Enjoyed it. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2014

Thank you - not sure if I reviewed your great pirate piece which shows yet another side of the multi-faceted crown of sonnets.

Interesting and challenging contest, I am sure you will agree.

Steve

Comment from GregoryCody

Exceptional

Well. I am a whopping 80. Hmm. I hope I did it right. GREAT piece haha. Loved it. Every word. It was entertaining but your structure was extraordinary as was your flow and assonance. I thoroughly enjoyed this. And of course your notes ;) you get a SIX not because you pressured me haha, but because you deserve it! :)

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2014

Thanks, Greg.

Congratulations on achieving the lowest score so far reported (and for being brave enough to make it public!)

Of course, part of the point of the poem is that such tests are flawed and fairly meaningless...

Thanks for taking part in the fun.

Steve

reply by GregoryCody on 24-Mar-2014

Hahaha. I bet! :)

Loved it! Great fun.

Comment from pipersfancy

Exceptional

Brilliantly conceived rating system, Steve - since I administer all kinds of standardized assessment tools in my role as a speech-language pathologist, I feel competent in saying this has HUGE potential in the field of assessment/measurement of common sense... I'd say you should try a pitch to pro-ed or one of the other big publishing companies... You could be making big bucks off of this!

Seriously, this was a breath of fresh air! You kept the momentum going, and sold me completely. Well rhymed, stayed true to meter and gave me a chuckle... what more could I want in a crown of sonnets?

BTW - my WQ came out at 291 - not bad, I thought, though I lost some ground on my age (48!)

Good luck with this one,
PF

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2014

Thanks, PF.

I'm afraid my brilliant theory has offended some so thanks for taking it in the spirit with which it was intended.

Now who did you say that publisher was???

Steve

reply by pipersfancy on 24-Mar-2014

Well, that's a shame, Steve - that some have read (or misread) more (or less) than your intended message here.

The thing about standardized tests is... it all boils down to the money. (And, as I said, I'm someone that has to frequently administer a range of standard tests to kids as part of my work.) The numbers themselves are meaningless, and I have often stated that fact in the accompanying report and analysis of the testing results. Thing is, most people seem to believe that the numbers themselves are important... and I know a lot of therapists who buy into that idea and don't take any of the important factors into consideration IF they take the time to interpret results at all! In my private practice, I will suggest to parents to skip the formal assessment piece (with me)... all it does is throw a label at a kid, but for myself, it changes not one thing I will do therapeutically in working with the child.

In the schools (and, I'm sure this is an international phenomenon) the authors/publishers of standardized tests have created a system where certain numbers on certain tests are actually what qualifies a child to receive special education services. Translated: it means the more kids that are qualified = increased money funded to that school.

It really raises my ire! Because, like I said, the numbers themselves are completely arbitrary, and meaningless!

Sorry for the rant - you already knew these things (or had formed a pretty good opinion). Otherwise, you wouldn't have written on the topic!

I do understand how you must feel in being told your work (blood, sweat and tears) is 'offensive' to some... I was absolutely terrified to post 'Trans' knowing it is a highly controversial topic. For the most part, I've had positive reviews (though one dismissive and ignorant). What I have noticed since posting though, is the noted absence of several people who had been reviewing my works regularly. These same people have not responded to any of my reviews of their work over the past couple of weeks. If it were only 1 or even two people, I'd chalk it up to them being busy, or whatever. But, it's more like 7 or 8 people - folks who ALWAYS gave me a review. So, I feel I have offended some as well.

Well - better to write from the heart. I'd feel I was cheating myself and my readers if I did anything less.

Christina

reply by the author on 25-Mar-2014

Christina - having been a teacher (secondary) for most of my life I do know a reasonable amount about these tests - and looking back to my own schooling, I can see very clearly how my own performance on an IQ test on entering high school coloured the teachers' perceptions.

regarding your experience with 'Trans' it is almost inconceivable that any reasonably decent person would give you the cold reviewing shoulder because of its content. We do have our share of 'fanatics' I guess, especially those with a conservative religious bent....

If there is one thing that I have learnt from life experience (a la WQ) it is that there are all sorts in the world, that many of them are shaped and often damaged by childhood experiences and that acceptance of 'who they are' is usually the only way to help them to lead productive and happy lives.

So, carry on writing from the heart - the piece was wonderful and I hope to see it rewarded in the booth very soon now.

Steve