Yosemite
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "A Ready Militia and Dreams"Acts of war have plunged Earth into catastrophe.
20 total reviews
Comment from l.raven
HI Michael, well what the hail is going to happen..???...Is this the new world???new and better gov...that wouldn't take much...mama could be the new pres...We all the people of the US..LOL...love it Michael...very well written...luff Linda xxoo
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HI Michael, well what the hail is going to happen..???...Is this the new world???new and better gov...that wouldn't take much...mama could be the new pres...We all the people of the US..LOL...love it Michael...very well written...luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 19-Mar-2014
Comment from Marillion
Glad to see them all pulling together, and it was a bit of a surprise to see actual military come into the camp, but it was a good addition for the sake of information, and I'll be interested to see if the 'real' enemy ventures in.
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Glad to see them all pulling together, and it was a bit of a surprise to see actual military come into the camp, but it was a good addition for the sake of information, and I'll be interested to see if the 'real' enemy ventures in.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2014
Comment from Tatarka2
I think this is really taking off and becoming an intriguing story. The way you're telling it makes it more intriguing, because the reader doesn't know any more than Johnny does - but just enough is revealed to keep us reading on, wondering what will happen. Also, I appreciate how you've gotten out of Johnny's head, and are letting the action and dialogue tell the story. It makes it so much more readable and powerful.
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I think this is really taking off and becoming an intriguing story. The way you're telling it makes it more intriguing, because the reader doesn't know any more than Johnny does - but just enough is revealed to keep us reading on, wondering what will happen. Also, I appreciate how you've gotten out of Johnny's head, and are letting the action and dialogue tell the story. It makes it so much more readable and powerful.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2014
Comment from Nosha17
It is progressing well and you seem to be in charge! Guess, those Russians are the ones we have to look out for, very topical!!! I noted a few spelling errors, but you know I am only trying to be helpful. The camp seems to be getting organised, maybe you should form some sort of committee for decision making. Enjoyable read. Faye
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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It is progressing well and you seem to be in charge! Guess, those Russians are the ones we have to look out for, very topical!!! I noted a few spelling errors, but you know I am only trying to be helpful. The camp seems to be getting organised, maybe you should form some sort of committee for decision making. Enjoyable read. Faye
Comment Written 19-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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I'm a little scared about the outside world. It has to be complicated out there! I have the feeling that I don't actually know how to use spell check in the editor. I click on it and it never shows anything. Am I supposed to highlight everything? Seems like I've done that too. Oh well. Glad you're liking it though, mikey
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I don't use spell check, as my daughter said it is misleading and not infallible; luckily, I am a pretty good speller. For instance, you wrote great for greet, so it wouldn't show up on spell check, I don't think. It can all be edited later, I guess. Faye
Comment from Rosalyne
Hi, Mikey.
This book is moving along well. It has really shifted from the beginnings taking on a new direction. I really like the connection of the dreams. I laughed at the one of the ice cream. It will be interesting how you bring in the political control and government.
Bye
Rosalyne :)
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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Hi, Mikey.
This book is moving along well. It has really shifted from the beginnings taking on a new direction. I really like the connection of the dreams. I laughed at the one of the ice cream. It will be interesting how you bring in the political control and government.
Bye
Rosalyne :)
Comment Written 19-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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It is a bit daunting thinking of what could be going on. But, one step at a time. I like the direction too. I was getting bogged down sitting around the campfire! mikey
Comment from ravenblack
With Putin's willingness to push us to the brink of cold/not so cold war, the Russian scenario does not seem that out of place. I just have one question though. What happened to the crisis about not having enough meds for the mentally ill in the group?
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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With Putin's willingness to push us to the brink of cold/not so cold war, the Russian scenario does not seem that out of place. I just have one question though. What happened to the crisis about not having enough meds for the mentally ill in the group?
Comment Written 19-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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At the moment there is only one client in camp, Russell the epileptic. The other three living ones have been missing since the camp was taken over initially. Not sure if I should have one or all of them return or not. Should I? mikey
Comment from ragamuffin
United we stand and divided we fall works. I imagine that would be hard to achieve in too big of a number of people though. Seems like with so many of the common people dead and those left being scattered and without many good resources, it's going to be hard for any form of government to pull it back together, especially when the enemy are many different groups. Not really knowing what's going on, with no communications would be unnerving and frustrating, but heading to a city that might have communications would be dangerous. Great story, and certainly with the likelihood of that Malaysian plane being taken by terrorists for what many think will be one huge bomb directed at who knows, it's kind of nice to think of something like this as fiction. Let's hope it stays that way. One note, did you mean, "Let's all "greet" and "We all went to greet" instead of "great?"
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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United we stand and divided we fall works. I imagine that would be hard to achieve in too big of a number of people though. Seems like with so many of the common people dead and those left being scattered and without many good resources, it's going to be hard for any form of government to pull it back together, especially when the enemy are many different groups. Not really knowing what's going on, with no communications would be unnerving and frustrating, but heading to a city that might have communications would be dangerous. Great story, and certainly with the likelihood of that Malaysian plane being taken by terrorists for what many think will be one huge bomb directed at who knows, it's kind of nice to think of something like this as fiction. Let's hope it stays that way. One note, did you mean, "Let's all "greet" and "We all went to greet" instead of "great?"
Comment Written 19-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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Yes, I am glad it is fiction. I would hate to actually be faced with any of this. Well, Christine maybe... Hahaha. Yes greet. Thanks for catching that. The uncertainty does make it difficult. To write as well. I keep trying to picture an overall view in my mind, but find it difficult. Working on it though. Thanks for the input and great insights, mikey
Comment from nordicgirl
You are really on a roll with this now. Great clear direction. Exciting action and heroic believable charachters that I care about. Christine has been developed perfectly. Her having special abilities is completely believable. It would not work with anyone else. Well done!!! NG
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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You are really on a roll with this now. Great clear direction. Exciting action and heroic believable charachters that I care about. Christine has been developed perfectly. Her having special abilities is completely believable. It would not work with anyone else. Well done!!! NG
Comment Written 19-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much. I have really appreciated your support and insights. I am so pleased with your comments. That is exactly what I was hoping to hear!! I feel refreshed with this and ready to roll. Thanks for all the stars too. mikey
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Good chapter.... great that some real military is there, for they are trained to fight intelligently.
nothing but, mini wars << Remove comma.
>> "I think these are the soldiers that Average, I mean the Joe
Use an ellipsis after Average... to indicate he paused before going on:
"I think these are the soldiers that Average... I mean the Joe
Marines needs capital M.
>> Corcoran, he's a munitions expert.
Semi-colon or period, not comma.
Corcoran; he's a munitions expert.
>> There are terrorist's
NO apostrophe, just TERRORISTS. Never use an apostrophe to make a word plural... NEVER!!!!
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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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Good chapter.... great that some real military is there, for they are trained to fight intelligently.
nothing but, mini wars << Remove comma.
>> "I think these are the soldiers that Average, I mean the Joe
Use an ellipsis after Average... to indicate he paused before going on:
"I think these are the soldiers that Average... I mean the Joe
Marines needs capital M.
>> Corcoran, he's a munitions expert.
Semi-colon or period, not comma.
Corcoran; he's a munitions expert.
>> There are terrorist's
NO apostrophe, just TERRORISTS. Never use an apostrophe to make a word plural... NEVER!!!!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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Some of those corrections I didn't know. Thank you, I'll try to keep those in my brain. A couple I should've caught. Thanks for pointing those out too. I wanted to get some better weaponry and some real soldiers then I remembered these guys were wandering around somewhere! I can't believe this was a short story!! mikey
Comment from seaglass
The evolution of a new society is realistic. It follows the pattern of history in the way societies came about. More of the aftermath is explained. If there are pockets of the continent with radiation and toxins, the clean areas will be sought after and fought after.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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The evolution of a new society is realistic. It follows the pattern of history in the way societies came about. More of the aftermath is explained. If there are pockets of the continent with radiation and toxins, the clean areas will be sought after and fought after.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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You just gave me an "Ah ha" moment. I've been trying to solidify why the area that they are in is so important. Because it is practically Eden compared to the rest of the country. Ah ha! I had that general feeling, but now it is clear. Thank you!! mikey
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Any time
