senryu (high expectations)
to all those wonderful working women39 total reviews
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the poem. I love the humor. Most women raise that hemline when something important comes up. It is usually not an invitation for sex. It is usually just some eye candy to look at while making your mind up about other things. Great work.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2014
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I love the poem. I love the humor. Most women raise that hemline when something important comes up. It is usually not an invitation for sex. It is usually just some eye candy to look at while making your mind up about other things. Great work.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2014
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Thank you for reading my work and the great perspicacity in your comments. Love it!
Comment from juliaSjames
A satirical look at women using all the weapons in our arsenal to launch an attack on that glass ceiling.
Like the emphasis on ambition in your word choice - high, top, raises.
Your poem has that mocking touch of the bawdy that Alvin taught is part of the history of senryu.
Excellent work. I have a silly mental block about writing senryu because of an unfair review when I was a newbie. Funny how such things linger.
Best of luck in the contest, my friend.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2014
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A satirical look at women using all the weapons in our arsenal to launch an attack on that glass ceiling.
Like the emphasis on ambition in your word choice - high, top, raises.
Your poem has that mocking touch of the bawdy that Alvin taught is part of the history of senryu.
Excellent work. I have a silly mental block about writing senryu because of an unfair review when I was a newbie. Funny how such things linger.
Best of luck in the contest, my friend.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2014
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Thank you for your awesome comments, Julia. Oh yes, I know about those unfair comments...they linger longer that the good ones. Why?
Comment from daniela.albu
An original poem about women with high career expectations. It is a well written senryu and if not humor it has a bit of satire.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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An original poem about women with high career expectations. It is a well written senryu and if not humor it has a bit of satire.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much Daniela for reading and commenting in this satire.
Comment from sgalletti
Oh my goodness, Nancy. What wonderful satire. Alvin would love it! Thanks for the good memories of Alvin. As you know, he was a dear friend, and I attended his Memorial Service, which was lovely and attended by 50 people, including his two sisters from Arizona. I'm enjoying reading all of these tributes to him before voting. Wish I had been able to include them in the book Lois compiled and I printed and gifted to the family and close friends at the memorial service. Best of luck, Sue
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Oh my goodness, Nancy. What wonderful satire. Alvin would love it! Thanks for the good memories of Alvin. As you know, he was a dear friend, and I attended his Memorial Service, which was lovely and attended by 50 people, including his two sisters from Arizona. I'm enjoying reading all of these tributes to him before voting. Wish I had been able to include them in the book Lois compiled and I printed and gifted to the family and close friends at the memorial service. Best of luck, Sue
Comment Written 28-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Thank you for the great compliments to this work. Maybe Alvin spirit was hovering over me...I had this image it in mind but it wasn't until he left to the Master that my Muse decided to cooperate! I do believe! Great that you brought our presence to his memorial service.
Comment from whizpurr ^-^
Hello Amada,
This is a super senryu. Alvin would be proud of it. Your poem contains a really clever and comical twist and is certainly typical of human nature All the best to you in the contest. Warm regards, W ^-^
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2014
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Hello Amada,
This is a super senryu. Alvin would be proud of it. Your poem contains a really clever and comical twist and is certainly typical of human nature All the best to you in the contest. Warm regards, W ^-^
Comment Written 27-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2014
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Thank you for the great comments. Human nature is such a fun thing!
Comment from Jean Lutz
Oh my. Alvin would love this one. Reminds me of so many quiet jokes we shared during private sessions. It was in the classrooms that so much of his humor was revealed.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2014
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Oh my. Alvin would love this one. Reminds me of so many quiet jokes we shared during private sessions. It was in the classrooms that so much of his humor was revealed.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2014
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Ha, ha. Yes, I bet he would like this one! Thank you for reading this work.
Comment from Eternal Muse
This is a brilliant Senryu, and I only wish I had a six for this. The subtle satire is superb, as is the last line. I can tell the influence of Alvin's teaching - as I see it on all his students' works. You've paid a marvelous tribute to the teacher and mentor with the work he would have been proud of. And thank you for your author notes and warm memories of Alvin.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2014
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This is a brilliant Senryu, and I only wish I had a six for this. The subtle satire is superb, as is the last line. I can tell the influence of Alvin's teaching - as I see it on all his students' works. You've paid a marvelous tribute to the teacher and mentor with the work he would have been proud of. And thank you for your author notes and warm memories of Alvin.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2014
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Thank you for the awesome comments. A pleasure to practice his teachings.
Comment from Fluffyhead
really makes you think long after you have read it about what we have to do or think we have to do sometimes to get a job like the title its very crafty and goes with it
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2014
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really makes you think long after you have read it about what we have to do or think we have to do sometimes to get a job like the title its very crafty and goes with it
Comment Written 21-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2014
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Thank you for reading my work.
Comment from mfowler
I guess when things are unequal in the workplace, women will resort to sexual/ flirting behaviour such as the raising the hemlines to cope in the corporate world. With the glass ceiling a reality in many workplaces, it may be the only way. Your senryu captures this situation through two key metaphors of gazing at top floors, and matching that with raising hemlines. A cynical viewpoint, skilfully rendered in senryu. A style/ viewpoint that is well suited to this format.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2014
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I guess when things are unequal in the workplace, women will resort to sexual/ flirting behaviour such as the raising the hemlines to cope in the corporate world. With the glass ceiling a reality in many workplaces, it may be the only way. Your senryu captures this situation through two key metaphors of gazing at top floors, and matching that with raising hemlines. A cynical viewpoint, skilfully rendered in senryu. A style/ viewpoint that is well suited to this format.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much for the detailed and enchanting review to this senryu. Inspiring.
Comment from Gungalo
high expectations--
gazing at corporate's top floor
she raises hemline
A great tribute to Al girl. He would have laughed his head off. Wonderful.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2014
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high expectations--
gazing at corporate's top floor
she raises hemline
A great tribute to Al girl. He would have laughed his head off. Wonderful.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2014
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There you go, girl...
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Smile.
