The Kissing Tree
Quatrains , abab rhyme38 total reviews
Comment from GWinterwin
Very good poem my friend, with good word flow and rhyming to match. This is a sad tale but turns out to be happy and that makes it all complete and seem very real.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2014
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Very good poem my friend, with good word flow and rhyming to match. This is a sad tale but turns out to be happy and that makes it all complete and seem very real.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2014
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Thank you George. I just made this one up as I went. Have a great day! Nancy
Comment from w.j.debi
Such a beautiful love story of anxious lovers, their misunderstanding and reunion. Legends are built upon such fantasies. You are such a master of meter. The cadence flows so smoothly and enhances the tale. I enjoyed the author notes and the information on nymphs. Gorgeous artwork that compliments your verse perfectly for an excellent presentation.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2014
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Such a beautiful love story of anxious lovers, their misunderstanding and reunion. Legends are built upon such fantasies. You are such a master of meter. The cadence flows so smoothly and enhances the tale. I enjoyed the author notes and the information on nymphs. Gorgeous artwork that compliments your verse perfectly for an excellent presentation.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2014
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Thanks wj. My mother told me to always give the benefit of the doubt.
Things are seldom what they seem to be. Thanks for the review.
Have a nice day!
Comment from emrpoems
Good Abab cdcd efef ghgh ijij klkl mm rhymes.Lovely story well told in quatrains. Sorry I don't have a six to give to you
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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Good Abab cdcd efef ghgh ijij klkl mm rhymes.Lovely story well told in quatrains. Sorry I don't have a six to give to you
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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Thank you for the review Erica. Have a good day! Nancy
Comment from ccto12
I enjoyed your poem. Tells a tale of mystical creatures. Your poem is like a fairy tale. Well composed rhyming stanzas. Beautiful accompanying artwork.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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I enjoyed your poem. Tells a tale of mystical creatures. Your poem is like a fairy tale. Well composed rhyming stanzas. Beautiful accompanying artwork.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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Thank you for the fine review. Nancy
Comment from ennahanid
Glad I got in here before my 6's were all gone. Absolutely fantabulous . I think why can't I write like that and then I think if I did then I wouldn't be me. This is worthy for more than a 6 so I will add a virtual ten and give you a standing ovation - Dinah
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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Glad I got in here before my 6's were all gone. Absolutely fantabulous . I think why can't I write like that and then I think if I did then I wouldn't be me. This is worthy for more than a 6 so I will add a virtual ten and give you a standing ovation - Dinah
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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Oh My word Dinah. You write better than that! What are you talking about? You tell such beautiful stories in a poem! I really appreciate the six. Have a wonderful evening! Nancy
Comment from Marillion
Not much to nit here, my friend, but I've made a few punctuation suggestions. Great story well told, Nancy! Really enjoyed it.
He waited there beneath the kissing tree until the dawn,(.)
She promised she would join him there at dark.
"If I am late, please wait(;), I'll be afraid if you are gone!"
While waiting,(no comma) on the trunk he made their mark.
A heart with their initials and an arrow running through,
He knew that she'd reward him with a kiss.
When finally he realized that she was overdue,
he wondered then if something was amiss.
By midday he decided she had played him for a fool,
and so he set to mar his oath of love.
He couldn't know her father caught her in the vestibule,
and locked her in a chamber up above.
So when at last she had a chance to meet him at the tree(,)
She found the message damaged, unadorned.
In agony(,) she cried, "I thought that you would wait for me."
Repeating then the lines she had forsworn.
"I'll love you till the stars at night forget to cast their glow,
until the mockingbird forgets to sing.
I'll love you until death and even longer till you know,
without your love life wouldn't mean a thing."
But there behind the tree(,) her lover heard her mournful cry,
although embittered; softened to her plight.(;)
and then his heart was melting as his lady told him why!
That she had been imprisoned on that night!
And now the legend says that moment will forever be.
You'll find the two embracing there beneath the kissing tree.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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Not much to nit here, my friend, but I've made a few punctuation suggestions. Great story well told, Nancy! Really enjoyed it.
He waited there beneath the kissing tree until the dawn,(.)
She promised she would join him there at dark.
"If I am late, please wait(;), I'll be afraid if you are gone!"
While waiting,(no comma) on the trunk he made their mark.
A heart with their initials and an arrow running through,
He knew that she'd reward him with a kiss.
When finally he realized that she was overdue,
he wondered then if something was amiss.
By midday he decided she had played him for a fool,
and so he set to mar his oath of love.
He couldn't know her father caught her in the vestibule,
and locked her in a chamber up above.
So when at last she had a chance to meet him at the tree(,)
She found the message damaged, unadorned.
In agony(,) she cried, "I thought that you would wait for me."
Repeating then the lines she had forsworn.
"I'll love you till the stars at night forget to cast their glow,
until the mockingbird forgets to sing.
I'll love you until death and even longer till you know,
without your love life wouldn't mean a thing."
But there behind the tree(,) her lover heard her mournful cry,
although embittered; softened to her plight.(;)
and then his heart was melting as his lady told him why!
That she had been imprisoned on that night!
And now the legend says that moment will forever be.
You'll find the two embracing there beneath the kissing tree.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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Oh David! Thank you very much! I really appreciate your help with punctuation. I an trying but I always miss something. You are good to help so much. I used to be an 'A' student but it was long ago and far away! LOL Have a wonderful week. Nancy
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was excellent! Well done, Nancy, you should have saved this one for one of the 'story in a poem' contests. It would have been a worthy entrant. The story is just right for this mythological setting. Really lovely, Nancy. xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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That was excellent! Well done, Nancy, you should have saved this one for one of the 'story in a poem' contests. It would have been a worthy entrant. The story is just right for this mythological setting. Really lovely, Nancy. xsx Sandra
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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I just wrote it last night. I saw the picture and imagined a fitting tale. Glad you like it! Thank you very much for the six Sandra. We are having a windy day. Blowing shingles off the roof and a birdhouse off a post. Really bad day! Thanks again. Hugs. Nancy
Comment from adewpearl
solid use of abab rhyming with good steady meter
excellent enjambment keeps the story flowing from line to line
excellent hyperbole in the I'll love you till lines with great illustrative examples
a most dramatic story of two lovers who seem better at melodramatic passion than trust LOL
Brooke
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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solid use of abab rhyming with good steady meter
excellent enjambment keeps the story flowing from line to line
excellent hyperbole in the I'll love you till lines with great illustrative examples
a most dramatic story of two lovers who seem better at melodramatic passion than trust LOL
Brooke
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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LOL That's the stuff legends are made of! Thank you for the review Brooke. Have a lovely week! Nancy
Comment from Just2Write
Oh, this is delicious, Nancy. It is such a romantic write and full with all the emotions that make love hurt.
I loved the piece and enjoyed it right from the beginning.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone gave trees the same respect today? I'm sure the world would be a better place by far - and perhaps love and romance would be that much better off as well. Thanks for the new to me word in your author's notes as well: propitiating. Loved it.
Rose.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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Oh, this is delicious, Nancy. It is such a romantic write and full with all the emotions that make love hurt.
I loved the piece and enjoyed it right from the beginning.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone gave trees the same respect today? I'm sure the world would be a better place by far - and perhaps love and romance would be that much better off as well. Thanks for the new to me word in your author's notes as well: propitiating. Loved it.
Rose.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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Thank you for the review and the six Rose! Have a great week. Nancy
Comment from Ben Colder
Not only is this poem interesting but rewarding with much info. Great wording and a smooth flow of rhythm. I find no fault. Blessings
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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Not only is this poem interesting but rewarding with much info. Great wording and a smooth flow of rhythm. I find no fault. Blessings
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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Thank you for the review and generous stars Ben. Have a wonderful week!Nancy
