Consider the Fallen Leaf
Checking the ground where I walk.38 total reviews
Comment from TAB_that's me
This is an excellent free verse poem for the contest. You had me at the beginning and kept my attention throughout. Good luck!
Teresa
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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This is an excellent free verse poem for the contest. You had me at the beginning and kept my attention throughout. Good luck!
Teresa
Comment Written 12-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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Thank you Teresa. Thank you.
Comment from Dean Kuch
The fallen leaf-what a beautiful metaphor for the cyclic musings of life and death, amanda. Not only is it well written, rife with vivid imagery and simile, but it evokes feelings of loss and death simultaneously. It's far more than what you said, but it's more about how you said it.
A beautiful piece of writing. Deep, touching and alluring.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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The fallen leaf-what a beautiful metaphor for the cyclic musings of life and death, amanda. Not only is it well written, rife with vivid imagery and simile, but it evokes feelings of loss and death simultaneously. It's far more than what you said, but it's more about how you said it.
A beautiful piece of writing. Deep, touching and alluring.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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What a beautiful thing to say, I repeat "It's far more than what you said, but it's more about how you said it." I couldn't have said it better.
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You are welcome, amada. It was my pleasure.
Comment from adewpearl
Beautiful presentation of your poem
good consonance in fallen leaf
good alliteration in twisted and turned
and cold it clung
I love the reshape it remake it passage
great alliteration and listing in smile, sparkle, sigh
Very effective use of repetition
a thoughtful message delivered in great poetic form
Brooke
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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Beautiful presentation of your poem
good consonance in fallen leaf
good alliteration in twisted and turned
and cold it clung
I love the reshape it remake it passage
great alliteration and listing in smile, sparkle, sigh
Very effective use of repetition
a thoughtful message delivered in great poetic form
Brooke
Comment Written 12-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much.
Comment from FrannyG
This is truly a lovely poem. Very thought-provoking and gently related. My only query is 'one' what 'remained on my palm'? You had been talking about the leaf blowing away. Do you mean one fragment? It is unclear. Otherwise a beautiful poem.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2014
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This is truly a lovely poem. Very thought-provoking and gently related. My only query is 'one' what 'remained on my palm'? You had been talking about the leaf blowing away. Do you mean one fragment? It is unclear. Otherwise a beautiful poem.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much for these stars, and your comments.
Comment from krys123
Amada, so very distinctively poetic this beautiful poem Shows your creativeness, illumination And inventiveness to be able to write such a beautiful, superb and dazzling piece. This shows your knowledge, skill and experience needed for success in a particular field such as poetry. Your description of a leaf shows the lifelessness come to life. Thank you so much for sharing and posting your work for everyone and may you always find peace wherever you go.
Alex
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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Amada, so very distinctively poetic this beautiful poem Shows your creativeness, illumination And inventiveness to be able to write such a beautiful, superb and dazzling piece. This shows your knowledge, skill and experience needed for success in a particular field such as poetry. Your description of a leaf shows the lifelessness come to life. Thank you so much for sharing and posting your work for everyone and may you always find peace wherever you go.
Alex
Comment Written 12-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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What a beautiful review. I confess: my ego likes it. Thank you so much for inspiring me to write more. Truly
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Amada, You are so sincerely welcome.
Comment from bob cullen
I'm not a fan of free verse, but after this I just might have to reconsider my opinion. This really it great poetry, it says so much.
It's a description of life. We come and we go. And there are few like you who want to restore life and recall the beauty of that life.
This poem says it all. Thank you, it really has made me think.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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I'm not a fan of free verse, but after this I just might have to reconsider my opinion. This really it great poetry, it says so much.
It's a description of life. We come and we go. And there are few like you who want to restore life and recall the beauty of that life.
This poem says it all. Thank you, it really has made me think.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much bob cullen for the close reading and discovering the hidden life metaphor. An honor.
Comment from rama devi
Wonderful contemplative free verse, dear friend. The repeating phrase is most effective to draw the reader deeper into this meditation on the leaf. Nice flow. Fine personification.
I tried to reshape it...
remake it...
but my terse hands
couldn't cuddle such a fragile thing,
Nice subtle alliteration of C, R and T.
*
and it crumbled, (no comma)
on one fold of my ragged skin
Nice line:
like sacred golden dust ...
Nice list (and concept):
a smile
a sparkle
a sigh.
* optional, but recommended:
Consider--
please consider(--)
the fallen leaf.
Thanks for sharing your muse's gift of poetic zooming lens.
LOVE,
rd
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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Wonderful contemplative free verse, dear friend. The repeating phrase is most effective to draw the reader deeper into this meditation on the leaf. Nice flow. Fine personification.
I tried to reshape it...
remake it...
but my terse hands
couldn't cuddle such a fragile thing,
Nice subtle alliteration of C, R and T.
*
and it crumbled, (no comma)
on one fold of my ragged skin
Nice line:
like sacred golden dust ...
Nice list (and concept):
a smile
a sparkle
a sigh.
* optional, but recommended:
Consider--
please consider(--)
the fallen leaf.
Thanks for sharing your muse's gift of poetic zooming lens.
LOVE,
rd
Comment Written 12-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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Thank you for reading my work and for your love.
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:-))) My pleasure!
Comment from Bayberry
This is a lovely free verse offering much for the reader to ponder. It flows well and contains an inherent energy. I love the colorful leaves in fall an it is a bit sad that they last too short a time before they start fading away or crumble back into dust.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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This is a lovely free verse offering much for the reader to ponder. It flows well and contains an inherent energy. I love the colorful leaves in fall an it is a bit sad that they last too short a time before they start fading away or crumble back into dust.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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Thank you Bayberry for reading my work and the beautiful, beautiful review.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello amada
I like the metaphor of you using a fallen leaf as a person leaf as if it's a person that is slowly crumpling away and
then how the second leaf found a loving warm hand.
Gert
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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Hello amada
I like the metaphor of you using a fallen leaf as a person leaf as if it's a person that is slowly crumpling away and
then how the second leaf found a loving warm hand.
Gert
Comment Written 12-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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Thank you for reading my work.
Comment from Gungalo
But one remained on my palm:
a reminder,
perhaps,
that we always leave something behind...
a smile
a sparkle
a sigh.
Somethin goo like this write Amada. It's very tender and loving. SIgh.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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But one remained on my palm:
a reminder,
perhaps,
that we always leave something behind...
a smile
a sparkle
a sigh.
Somethin goo like this write Amada. It's very tender and loving. SIgh.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much for visiting, dear friend.
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Smile Amada.
