The blue orchid
it is about the rarest blue orchid that give joy to all.2 total reviews
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
DEEP blue orchid nods,
swaying gently in SLOW wind,
touching hearts with BLUE smile.
Try to eliminate 'the' whenever possible because it is a 'wasted' word especially in a Haiku/Senyru format. See/hear the difference? Suggestions only. No disrespect intended.
Regards:
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
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DEEP blue orchid nods,
swaying gently in SLOW wind,
touching hearts with BLUE smile.
Try to eliminate 'the' whenever possible because it is a 'wasted' word especially in a Haiku/Senyru format. See/hear the difference? Suggestions only. No disrespect intended.
Regards:
Comment Written 05-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
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thank you it sounds much better with your revision.
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Dear theana: My pleasure to be of assistance. May I extend a warm welcome to the wonderful world of FS. Do drop by sometime. Just posted 'Table 34', my second attempt at free verse in the past 45 years of composing poems. Thanks.
XXOO Steve C
Comment from zanya
Yes a 5-7-5 paying homage to one of Nature's beautiful expressions 'blue orchid'- its beauty and its simple movement 'swaying gently in the wind' appeal to our senses
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
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Yes a 5-7-5 paying homage to one of Nature's beautiful expressions 'blue orchid'- its beauty and its simple movement 'swaying gently in the wind' appeal to our senses
Comment Written 05-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
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thank you
