Reviews from

Writing Prompt Entries 2014

Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Little Traitor"
The clue is in the title!

8 total reviews 
Comment from MagKing
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You should have given her a banana when she asked for a candy.
And had given her the snack she requested for.
Children are sensitive...
They need love and care
Well, so sorry that she now hates you
But it's never too late
You can still win her back with lots of ice cream and chocolates.....Laughing...

MagKing

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2014
    Hi Magking :) Kids are fickle little things aren't they?! Lollipops usually get my little one on side! Thank you for your great feedback :) Kindest regards, Debra
Comment from Smoothiecool
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good luck in the contest
your 5-7-5 in both have fell into place
your few words tell the story well with the images
how giving a banana was not the treat that your granddaughter had in mind
so now you are not the loving nanna for a short time
flows well cheers Smoothiecool

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
    Thank you smoothie cool for your great feedback and good luck wishes. I appreciate both! Kindest regards...:)
reply by Smoothiecool on 06-Mar-2014
    most welcome..SC
Comment from victor 66
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I have a three year old granddaughter who knows just how to "go for the throat" when she is told no or is required to do something she doesn't care to do. We say, 'we don't negotiate with terrorists", I beg to differ. Your poem fits Fiona perfectly. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
    LOL Victor! Fiona sounds as delightful as my 3 little angels! Thank you for your heat feedback and good luck wishes. I appreciate both. Kindest regards...:)
reply by victor 66 on 05-Mar-2014
    You are welcome.
Comment from nelliesellie
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I love the picture. She tried to give you some come-uppance. I know it didn't work. She will find a reason to love Mom again. Great work. Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
    Aw, thank you nelliesellie for your lovely review. This was inspired by my own daughter's preference of candy and lollipops over fruit. Nanny has 'goodies' in abundance! Thanks also for your good luck wishes. Kindest regards :) ...
Comment from RYME4U
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This is very well written. It tells the entire story in just the six lines. Very well presented. The humor is implied in your words. Great job!

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
    Thank you for your great feedback :) I appreciate it! Kindest regards...
Comment from Domino 2
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HAHAHA! Isn't that typical mystery writer - though as sponsor I know who you are.

Kids are so devious at playing one against the other. It's strange how ALL their friends have all the latest clothes, computer games etc, that THEY don't have. :-)

I bet Nanny gives her bananas too, and she tells her she's 'MOMMY'S BABY GIRL'. LOL.

Thanks for the laughs, and good luck, Ted


 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
    Thank you Ted for your great comments and good luck wishes - I appreciate it! Funny how kids think we don't know all the tricks too isn't it?! Kindest regards as always :)
Comment from mfowler
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I love this. You've used the two 5-7-5 verses to full and favourable effect. I love how the tone of the piece goes from explanation to disdain in a few well chosen words. Of course she wants candy! Of course she hates you....but your classic 'low blow Babe low blow' is such a precious line to finish on. I wish you all the best in the contest.

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback. I'm really happy that you enjoyed my entry to the contest. Thank you also for your good luck wishes - much appreciated! Kindest regards...:)
Comment from humpwhistle
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Ah, kids can be pretty self-absorbed, and vengeful, too.
I'm not sure she actually got her comeuppance, though.
Best of luck at the polls.

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
    Hi Lee, thank you for your feedback and good luck wishes - both appreciated!
    Mommy got her comeuppance... Nanny 1 Mommy 0 (Nanny ALWAYS offers candy at snack time!) Kindest regards...