Comment from ravenblack

Excellent

Falls golden playthings are so much better than winter's cold diamonds. I trade a flailing rake for a overburdened shovel any day. As for the gardener, the leaves seem to play at his expense.

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 09-Mar-2014

Thanks, rb

Of course we are heading towards those diamonds while you steer towards summer....

Steve

Comment from HL Pepper

Excellent

You must like redundancy because that is what you are always offered by writing such excellent work over and over!!

I love the picture and how the words work so well with it. I think with haiku, it is especially effective since there so few words to convey the thought.

I do so enjoy your work! Thanks for keeping it coming.
Pepper

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 09-Mar-2014

Pepper, thanks for the more than kind words.

Haiku are not really my thing, but I have tried to dredge up some colour for the sake of the contest.

Steve

reply by HL Pepper on 09-Mar-2014

I thought of you today. I had to clean out my refrigerator again.

You truly are an inspiration!

Comment from Visheshta Dahiya

Excellent

a nice poem.!!
the picture complements your poem.
the use of words is apt and great.
the vocabulary is nice too.
best wishes
Visheshta

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 09-Mar-2014

Visheshta, thanks so much for the kind words.

Steve

reply by Visheshta Dahiya on 10-Mar-2014

welcome :)

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

Teasing leaves scamper....beautiful image and so true as they dance out of the way of your rake......fall's golden playthings....
Yay...this is great Steve...
God bless

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 09-Mar-2014

Thanks, Jenny

I don't even bother with a rake - they just play on the lawn all they wish!

Steve

reply by kiwijenny on 09-Mar-2014

The kiwi way...here they rake and rake...mulch ado about nothing.

Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

An excellent entry. Better than mine. But then, you've won several contests, so it should. Love the verb choice -scamper with its onomatopoetic sound. Nice alliteration of "f" and "g". Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014

Ah, but I've never won a haiku contest and I don't expect to win this one either, especially since I am reliably informed I shouldn't have used personification.

Now yours, on the other hand, is very literal and precise - unless we quibble about whether a worm is 'sweet'!

Thanks for the nice review.

Steve

Comment from GracieAnn

Excellent

kiwi, this Haiku Poetry Contest entry fulfills the elements of the contest with perfect line and syllable count and the use of the first line as the title. The last line contains the Ahhh moment and is well penned. All the best in the contest. :0 GracieAnn

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014

Thanks, GA.

It doesn't satisfy the haiku purists apparently because I have personified the leaves and the fall...

Ah, well - I never expect to win a haiku contest anyway!

Steve

Comment from krys123

Excellent

If anyone is going to win This contest it will be you with this entry it is fantastic. Excellent presentation and composition with a lot of flair and illuminative feel.
Thank you so much for sharing and posting this work for everyone and may you always find and have peace.
Alex

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014

Krys, thank you so much for the enthusiastic review.

Steve

reply by krys123 on 05-Mar-2014

You are so welcome

Comment from nancyjam

Excellent

Excellent Haiku, Steve.
Great verbs "teasing" "scamper" and "flailing"
paint a terrific fall scene and that final line
sums it up perfectly. Nancy.

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014

Thanks, Nancy

I had fun dreaming this one up - and the leaves are starting to fall here...

Steve

Comment from zanya

Excellent

A beautiful metaphorical word picture about one of Fall's defining characteristics 'leaves' - great line 'fall's golden playthings'

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014

Thanks, Zanya

I had 'fall's playthings of gold' originally but reverted to this line - why? No idea, it just 'feels' better

Steve

Comment from Righteous Riter

Excellent

teasing leaves scamper
from gardener's flailing rake
fall's golden playthings
Good complimentary photo. The syllable count is correct. Good alliteration with gardener's/golden...from/flailing/fall's. Clear message that is short and simple.

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014

Thanks for the kind words.

Steve