Yosemite
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Dreams, Outbursts and Johnny Cakes"Acts of war have plunged Earth into catastrophe.
22 total reviews
Comment from Michaelk
Another great chapter. The natives are starting to get restless. I would call this the speech chapter. With several characters giving their own little speeches. My favorite was Johnny's dream. I never really think about a UN type meeting in an apocalypse, it's usually just immediate survival. I liked that you being it out as a dream. Could be real, could be not. I also liked the comparison between the patients and the others. He says that there's going to be trouble when the patients mess run out. I agree. But it seems to me like the so called normal people are the ones that are starting to awaken to their situation. I could see a major debate on the horizon as to wether or not to use the patients to test the water like guinea pigs. The big problem with giving speeches and getting people motivated is that you have to trust that they are motivated to do the right thing. One more thought and then I'll shut up. Eight at the end when they were talking about making 'Johnny cakes' I think Johnny should have gulped or swallowed hard or held his hand up to his neck. Some humorous way of saying 'you ain't cooking me, even though my name is Johnny'. Great chapter, keep it up.
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Another great chapter. The natives are starting to get restless. I would call this the speech chapter. With several characters giving their own little speeches. My favorite was Johnny's dream. I never really think about a UN type meeting in an apocalypse, it's usually just immediate survival. I liked that you being it out as a dream. Could be real, could be not. I also liked the comparison between the patients and the others. He says that there's going to be trouble when the patients mess run out. I agree. But it seems to me like the so called normal people are the ones that are starting to awaken to their situation. I could see a major debate on the horizon as to wether or not to use the patients to test the water like guinea pigs. The big problem with giving speeches and getting people motivated is that you have to trust that they are motivated to do the right thing. One more thought and then I'll shut up. Eight at the end when they were talking about making 'Johnny cakes' I think Johnny should have gulped or swallowed hard or held his hand up to his neck. Some humorous way of saying 'you ain't cooking me, even though my name is Johnny'. Great chapter, keep it up.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2014
Comment from seaglass
Ok, the shock is wearing off and reality is setting in. I think some foraging had better begin. However, if the disaster had an atomic cause, everything is contaminated. If not, there is fish in the brook, start making sharp spears out of sticks to stab them with. Get some Beanie shooters made and get everyone target practicing. Squirrel makes good protein, if any survived. If you brought fruit or if there is any in the little store, save to seeds to plant. Just watch out for the mushroom, they can be quick death. Its going great, keep the pen scratching.
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Ok, the shock is wearing off and reality is setting in. I think some foraging had better begin. However, if the disaster had an atomic cause, everything is contaminated. If not, there is fish in the brook, start making sharp spears out of sticks to stab them with. Get some Beanie shooters made and get everyone target practicing. Squirrel makes good protein, if any survived. If you brought fruit or if there is any in the little store, save to seeds to plant. Just watch out for the mushroom, they can be quick death. Its going great, keep the pen scratching.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2014
