Mirror
A poem about your inner self.5 total reviews
Comment from Lady Ophelia
This is a nice haiku. Do we choose to see ourselves in a certain light, masking our flaws? Or does our inner self shine through, despite how we perceive ourselves? It is an interesting poem to ponder. The meter is good, it flows nicely. One small thing is perhaps to take out the capitalization and punctuation, haikus generally don't have that. Otherwise, good work! :)
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2014
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This is a nice haiku. Do we choose to see ourselves in a certain light, masking our flaws? Or does our inner self shine through, despite how we perceive ourselves? It is an interesting poem to ponder. The meter is good, it flows nicely. One small thing is perhaps to take out the capitalization and punctuation, haikus generally don't have that. Otherwise, good work! :)
Comment Written 02-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much. I appreciate your advice. As soon as I can post more of my work I will but it may be awhile.
Comment from Kingsrookviii
Too bad this cannot be expanded, I'd really like to know who you saw. I like the first line and the last, but perhaps the core is a bit vague for my taste, although it is a gallant attempt.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2014
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Too bad this cannot be expanded, I'd really like to know who you saw. I like the first line and the last, but perhaps the core is a bit vague for my taste, although it is a gallant attempt.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2014
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Thank you. I appreciate your comment and time.
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Hi,
"Mirror" is excellent 5-7-5 poetry meeting the line syllable requirements of the form except that where framed has one or two syllables is a judgement call. Other wise it has a good coherent statement in these few syllables. "The face is not mine" is open to several interpretations which makes it a poem to ponder--food for thought. Good luck in the contest.
Preston
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2014
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Hi,
"Mirror" is excellent 5-7-5 poetry meeting the line syllable requirements of the form except that where framed has one or two syllables is a judgement call. Other wise it has a good coherent statement in these few syllables. "The face is not mine" is open to several interpretations which makes it a poem to ponder--food for thought. Good luck in the contest.
Preston
Comment Written 17-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2014
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Thank you. I appreciate your comment and your time.
Comment from sunnybird
It portrays its message well. You do not know yourself and see no beauty in who and what you are. very sad. Your poetry is touching. You must learn to know and love yourself before anyone else can love you. Well done Poem
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2014
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It portrays its message well. You do not know yourself and see no beauty in who and what you are. very sad. Your poetry is touching. You must learn to know and love yourself before anyone else can love you. Well done Poem
Comment Written 17-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2014
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Thank you. I appreciate your comment, advice, and time. As for the advice, it is easier said than done but I will take it to heart.
Comment from Narvik
I sensed the idea here is a self-identity issue. You see a beautiful face in the mirror but it's not yours? That seems like someone who doesn't appreciate their own beauty, but should. Anyway, this was a nice concise poem, Koi.
~ Jack
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2014
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I sensed the idea here is a self-identity issue. You see a beautiful face in the mirror but it's not yours? That seems like someone who doesn't appreciate their own beauty, but should. Anyway, this was a nice concise poem, Koi.
~ Jack
Comment Written 17-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2014
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Thank you. I appreciate your comment and time.
