A Lonely Rose
Room to Bloom38 total reviews
Comment from paulah60
The rose in a vase: this is an inspired metaphor for the human spirit. Contained in a body, which is contained in a capitalist culture that embraces diversity. And yet, at the same time, it cultivates stealthily undercover, trying to homogenise our viewpoints: "wear what you want; eat what you want; do your own thing." That's what we hear. But try challenge long-held, deep-seated, widespread beliefs and look out!! You'll get laughed at, called crazy, or worse, ignored. So, how does a 'rose in captivity' bloom? It doesn't take much, but simultaneously, it takes a lot. Just ONE, here and there, who gets you: a little bit of sunshine, but also, a lot of 'deep-sea diving'.
And you get that!
'The water and the sun entwine,
Kaleidoscopically divine,
To cause a tamed and crystal-framed
Endangered rose to bloom'.
Thank God for you, David!!
I'm gonna be sixless if you keep this up!
Cheers
Paula ;-)
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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The rose in a vase: this is an inspired metaphor for the human spirit. Contained in a body, which is contained in a capitalist culture that embraces diversity. And yet, at the same time, it cultivates stealthily undercover, trying to homogenise our viewpoints: "wear what you want; eat what you want; do your own thing." That's what we hear. But try challenge long-held, deep-seated, widespread beliefs and look out!! You'll get laughed at, called crazy, or worse, ignored. So, how does a 'rose in captivity' bloom? It doesn't take much, but simultaneously, it takes a lot. Just ONE, here and there, who gets you: a little bit of sunshine, but also, a lot of 'deep-sea diving'.
And you get that!
'The water and the sun entwine,
Kaleidoscopically divine,
To cause a tamed and crystal-framed
Endangered rose to bloom'.
Thank God for you, David!!
I'm gonna be sixless if you keep this up!
Cheers
Paula ;-)
Comment Written 17-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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Paula, it feels so GOOD that you GET me the way you do. Rogue or otherwise, you know how to cut through it all to the bare bones of it, and then put it back together. Thank you SO much, and I hope you'll six me up whenever you're in the mood, my friend.
I really appreciate YOU. David
Comment from Leineco
Beautifully lyrical
wonderfully metaphorical
perfect cadence and meter
interesting construction ( opening couplet, woven rhyming final stanza lines)
and best of all - some really intriguing phrases peppered through-out
Awaiting dew for growth anew, A few endure, but not unscarred, Becomes a dream of fragrant grace
Great read :-)
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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Beautifully lyrical
wonderfully metaphorical
perfect cadence and meter
interesting construction ( opening couplet, woven rhyming final stanza lines)
and best of all - some really intriguing phrases peppered through-out
Awaiting dew for growth anew, A few endure, but not unscarred, Becomes a dream of fragrant grace
Great read :-)
Comment Written 17-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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Thank you so much, Leineco! I really appreciate it.
Comment from rama devi
Wonderfully musical and well crafted, as ever. Deeply insightful and thought provoking with strong emotional overtones. Richly nuanced poetic devices, also as usual! great rhyming and alliteration, especially.
The feelings that our fears oppose
are fragile as a lonely rose,
Delicious to read aloud with all those f's.
good internal rhyme:
Awaiting dew for growth anew
Interesting imagery and assonance of both hard and soft A sounds:
Implanted deep in no-man's-land,
It writhes in darkness, parched and bland,
To wilt away within a day,
Collapsing as it dies;
Superb alliteration on C:
But fates of lovers shall depend
Upon how two combatants blend, --Great line!
When chemistry and roguery
Combine chaotic wills.---Great line!
Outstanding rhyme (and meaning!):
A few endure, but not unscarred,
And reconnoiter under guard,
Unique and imaginative imagery and metaphor:
But love embraced is glassed and placed
On sun-shot window sills.
Love this stanza...great imagery and internal rhyme
The rose, when set within its vase,
Becomes a dream of fragrant grace, (nice phrasing)
An acolyte to reignite (APPLAUSE!)
The glow in every room.
FAVORITE STANZA:
The water and the sun entwine,
Kaleidoscopically divine, (LOVE THIS LINE)
To cause a tamed and crystal-framed (great internal rhyme)
Endangered rose to bloom. (nice closing note)
BRAVO, AGAIN.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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Wonderfully musical and well crafted, as ever. Deeply insightful and thought provoking with strong emotional overtones. Richly nuanced poetic devices, also as usual! great rhyming and alliteration, especially.
The feelings that our fears oppose
are fragile as a lonely rose,
Delicious to read aloud with all those f's.
good internal rhyme:
Awaiting dew for growth anew
Interesting imagery and assonance of both hard and soft A sounds:
Implanted deep in no-man's-land,
It writhes in darkness, parched and bland,
To wilt away within a day,
Collapsing as it dies;
Superb alliteration on C:
But fates of lovers shall depend
Upon how two combatants blend, --Great line!
When chemistry and roguery
Combine chaotic wills.---Great line!
Outstanding rhyme (and meaning!):
A few endure, but not unscarred,
And reconnoiter under guard,
Unique and imaginative imagery and metaphor:
But love embraced is glassed and placed
On sun-shot window sills.
Love this stanza...great imagery and internal rhyme
The rose, when set within its vase,
Becomes a dream of fragrant grace, (nice phrasing)
An acolyte to reignite (APPLAUSE!)
The glow in every room.
FAVORITE STANZA:
The water and the sun entwine,
Kaleidoscopically divine, (LOVE THIS LINE)
To cause a tamed and crystal-framed (great internal rhyme)
Endangered rose to bloom. (nice closing note)
BRAVO, AGAIN.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 17-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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Rama, such a great review, as always, focusing on the parts I like the most, and catching every nuance I intend. You and I are most definitely kindred spirits in what we like, and how we write. Many thanks, my friend, for an amazing review and for the sixer! David
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Totally agree, David. We resonate on a similar poetic frequency! :)
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And THAT is a comforting thing to me!
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Me too! :)
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Ah, The lovely Rose. Many's the poem written about it and why not. It is truly beautiful. This is a very nice poem David. It tells that a rose left alone will no doubt wither and die. It need attention to thrive even if it is only plucked and stored in a vase. It need attention to thrive. At least that's what I saw in the poem. Well done. Nancy
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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Ah, The lovely Rose. Many's the poem written about it and why not. It is truly beautiful. This is a very nice poem David. It tells that a rose left alone will no doubt wither and die. It need attention to thrive even if it is only plucked and stored in a vase. It need attention to thrive. At least that's what I saw in the poem. Well done. Nancy
Comment Written 17-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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You saw correct, my friend, and it also needs love, sunlight, and water (all one and the same) to thrive. Thanks so much, Nancy!
Comment from madhatter1977
Hi David, thanks for all your help. I love this poem - I have roses in my back yard and it's my mum's name too so it really resonated.. Beautifully written, mixing meter would probably suit me too. Some of the images are incredible: here's some I love particularly:
An acolyte to reignite
The glow in every room
and...
The water and the sun entwine,
Kaleidoscopically divine,
Stunning writing. Great to read. Well worthy of a 6! Pete :)
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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Hi David, thanks for all your help. I love this poem - I have roses in my back yard and it's my mum's name too so it really resonated.. Beautifully written, mixing meter would probably suit me too. Some of the images are incredible: here's some I love particularly:
An acolyte to reignite
The glow in every room
and...
The water and the sun entwine,
Kaleidoscopically divine,
Stunning writing. Great to read. Well worthy of a 6! Pete :)
Comment Written 17-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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My pleasure, Pete! Thank YOU, my friend! I really appreciate that sixer and your excellent comments! Cheers, brother!
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Thanks, David!
Comment from Tatarka2
I really didn't think I had a choice but to give you a 6. This is really an almost perfect poem. It flows lyrically and the rhyming is perfect, within the format. It evokes both the rose and the human condition of love, so beautiful and yet so fragile, like the rose, in a few well-chosen, lyrical words. I don't know how you do this.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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I really didn't think I had a choice but to give you a 6. This is really an almost perfect poem. It flows lyrically and the rhyming is perfect, within the format. It evokes both the rose and the human condition of love, so beautiful and yet so fragile, like the rose, in a few well-chosen, lyrical words. I don't know how you do this.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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You're so kind, my friend. Thank you for awarding one despite your reservations, and for your wonderful compliments. I do love this form, and thought it fit the poem well.
Comment from Righteous Riter
Good end rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with wills/sills. Good description and alliteration. I really like the lines when chemistry and roguery combine chaotic wills. Good complimentary photo followed by a clear message.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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Good end rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with wills/sills. Good description and alliteration. I really like the lines when chemistry and roguery combine chaotic wills. Good complimentary photo followed by a clear message.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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Thanks so much, Righteous Riter. I appreciate the review.
Comment from Adri7enne
Lovely idea and so well developed, with a 'wait for it' kind of rhyme scheme. LOL! Lots of great alliterations. "When chemistry and roguery, Combine chaotic wills." A tour de force, David. It flowed so well, you made it look easy. Well done!
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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Lovely idea and so well developed, with a 'wait for it' kind of rhyme scheme. LOL! Lots of great alliterations. "When chemistry and roguery, Combine chaotic wills." A tour de force, David. It flowed so well, you made it look easy. Well done!
Comment Written 17-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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Thank you so much, Adrienne! I appreciate your great review! David
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Marillion
very nice how you compared a rose to felling's. I like how you used your rhyme pattern of AABC
and mixed meter very effective
Gert
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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Hello Marillion
very nice how you compared a rose to felling's. I like how you used your rhyme pattern of AABC
and mixed meter very effective
Gert
Comment Written 17-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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Thanks very much, Gert. :)
Comment from Kenneth Schaal
This is six star writing. The well worn rose never shined brighter, but I'm still thinking about the parallel of love. This to me is a sad poem, but you've placed it all in a lovely vase managing somehow to transform it, give it elevation--a life. What living thing lives for long in a vase? Kenny
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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This is six star writing. The well worn rose never shined brighter, but I'm still thinking about the parallel of love. This to me is a sad poem, but you've placed it all in a lovely vase managing somehow to transform it, give it elevation--a life. What living thing lives for long in a vase? Kenny
Comment Written 17-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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What a wonderfully insightful review, my friend, and for the sixer. I really appreciate your wisdom, Kenny, and your kindness.
