A Copper Coin
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Quick feet, red cobbles"The beginnings of the Thief Hunter.
4 total reviews
Comment from rwilliam
I KNEW you would be an excellent writer and man I was so right! You held my attention the whole way through and I am already invested in the characters and what happens to them!
I can't wait to read more. So proud of you! Keep going girl.
This is very good writing.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
  |
I KNEW you would be an excellent writer and man I was so right! You held my attention the whole way through and I am already invested in the characters and what happens to them!
I can't wait to read more. So proud of you! Keep going girl.
This is very good writing.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
-
Thank you so much for the 6 stars!!! I'm so excited to hear that you stuck with the story and I'm glad that I got my mojo back. My grandmother passed away on the 19th of September, so my muse decided to focus elsewhere for a few weeks. But it has returned with a flourish and I want to finish it and dedicate it to her.
-
I'm very grateful to you for the two 6 star reviews and I thank you with all my heart. Your ongoing support means the world to me and it makes me smile to think that you are so invested in the characters.
Comment from Adri7enne
Good dialogue. Well paced, terse. Sounds real.
Your character has to be tough to carry on her agenda through her grief. Well written, S. I'll keep reading, see where you're going.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2014
 |
Good dialogue. Well paced, terse. Sounds real.
Your character has to be tough to carry on her agenda through her grief. Well written, S. I'll keep reading, see where you're going.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2014
-
Thank you and she is tougher than she seems (especially since the fight where her nose got broken when she was 12). We might all have to be holding onto our seats because it might get a bit full on, but that would just be speculation ;)
Comment from LoannaLois
Wonderfully written, devised, and put-together! You are a super writer. I love your detail....the backgrounds, the people, and the bits of plot here and there. I am so worried for Skye, now. I'll just have to read more! Good job.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2014
|
Wonderfully written, devised, and put-together! You are a super writer. I love your detail....the backgrounds, the people, and the bits of plot here and there. I am so worried for Skye, now. I'll just have to read more! Good job.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2014
-
Thank you very much and I am glad that you are enjoying it. If you want to see more of Skye I have her in a short story where she is older.
Comment from HL Pepper
Okay, I am so glad this is the prologue and I can continue on as you post! This is very well done! You really do a great job of setting the stage and making sure your reader knows exactly what is going on around the characters.
Couple of things.
"Her old childhood friend was dragging away from someone's death, her mind churning over who it could possibly be."
Insert 'her' 'Her old childhood friend was dragging her away...'
"Her stomach had nothing to offer up for evacuation you see, so after a good few minutes of retching she took in a shuddering breath and looked up at Noah."
This was a great sentence but to me, the 'you see' spoiled the context. I just didn't see how that fit in and it was the only time you offered that so maybe it would be better to cut that. You could always add a few words about her not having had anything to eat, or something like that.
This is a great story - can't wait for more!!
Pepper
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2014
|
Okay, I am so glad this is the prologue and I can continue on as you post! This is very well done! You really do a great job of setting the stage and making sure your reader knows exactly what is going on around the characters.
Couple of things.
"Her old childhood friend was dragging away from someone's death, her mind churning over who it could possibly be."
Insert 'her' 'Her old childhood friend was dragging her away...'
"Her stomach had nothing to offer up for evacuation you see, so after a good few minutes of retching she took in a shuddering breath and looked up at Noah."
This was a great sentence but to me, the 'you see' spoiled the context. I just didn't see how that fit in and it was the only time you offered that so maybe it would be better to cut that. You could always add a few words about her not having had anything to eat, or something like that.
This is a great story - can't wait for more!!
Pepper
Comment Written 21-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2014
-
Thank you very much for the review! I wrote this in between my nephew's naps so I thought it would be a bit choppy. I read through it and applied the changes that you suggested so it should read better now. I suppose I should find someone to be a proof reader or something to make sure that I'm not making too many mistakes?
-
It isn't choppy at all and we can proof our work a gazillion times and still some eagle eye will find something else!! I sometimes print it out or read it out loud after a break and that helps me look at it fresh. This is one of the blessings of this website. We all believe in ourselves and our talent and each other so it is a team effort! It will be an honor to be on your team!! Pepper
-
Thank you, and very true. Fresh eyes d wonders on written works. I'm very glad that I'm on this team, I'm turning 20 in May and despite being so young I'm just letting everyone's advice sink in like I'm a sponge, it's very beneficial :)
-
That is a great attitude! I am way older than you and I still soak up everything I can to make my work better. You have lots of talent and your willingness and desire to make it better will pay off immensely! Good for you!
-
Thank you and it's always good to know that with effort and dedication (as well as patience and a willingness to learn from others) we can help others improve. Thank you again :)
