Comment from buzclick

Excellent

Sometimes extreme measures are taken for us.
Blessings come not only with a gold piece but with each unanswered wish. Your vision in this case is an essential truth. Beware people hear only what they want to hear; that is why poets are needed.
Good work

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Feb-2014

Thanks, buzclick. I appreciate it.

Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

I clearly understood your message on my first read-through. Yay me :) I can relate to this theme of death as it seems to be surrounding me lately. That reaper is always waiting in the wings of the great theatre of life.

My second read-through allowed me to focus on that wonderful iambic heptameter. 14 syllables. Awesome. I hear that reaper telling me to smarten up and improve my poetry or he's going to end my days lol! Loving the word,"illuming".

Third read-through I went in search of those inner rhymes. Mirror/nearer, covered/hovered, sour/power, and so many more. Impressive.

Nope, I don't see anything that needs improvement. I like it exactly the way it is. Sorry, I'm out of sixes.

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 Comment Written 13-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Feb-2014

Thanks so much, Joy, for your joyful review, and for taking so much time with this poem. I really focused on making the message straight-forward in this one, but I'm glad you were able to take a look at the construction of the poem. I love this form, personally, and I'm so glad you liked the poem. Your nice review is six enough for me, my friend. :-) David

Comment from Dawn of Tomorrow

Exceptional

ABSOLUTELY. I think that is exactly what he would say and it is up to us to take his advice or keep on the path of destruction. Our choice for sure. Hot off the press and the only thing I'd fix

I stood up tall and proudly(comma here) made a vow to never fall,

Then thanked the Reaper loudly for his timely wake-up call.

I absolutely love this ending and I love this way you are flowing these story like down the page .

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Feb-2014

Thanks so much, JL. You know, it's funny, I've had a comma there, and took it away twice, and I can see why it would work either way. Since that's where the internal rhyme is, one wants to comma that sucker, and it changes the way it reads, and not in a bad way. Still thinking about that one. Good eye!

I really appreciate the sixer, too, my friend. Hope your writing comes back to you. You have too much talent not to soldier on.

Comment from 24chas

Excellent

You deserve a sixer, but I want to make sure I reserve one for your rogue poem tomorrow if you're able to do one. This reminds me a bit of your Destination: Hope poem.

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 Comment Written 13-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Feb-2014

Thanks so much, Chas! I appreciate it, bro.