Comment from Irish Rain

Excellent

AWWWWW!!! I love this, because it is so real, and I hate this because it is so real! Wish I had six stars for you, this certainly deserves them! Happy Valentines Day!

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 14-Feb-2014

Thanks, Jo.

Luckily not my own experience, but yes, it does feel real.

Steve

Comment from GracieAnn

Excellent

kiwi, this 5-7-5 Poetry Contest contest entry is perfect in syllable count, and expresses well the sense of being aimless after we have lost a loved-one to death. All the best in the contest!@ :0 GracieAnn

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 14-Feb-2014

Thank you, GA

Steve

Comment from Cumbrianlass

Excellent

Very profound. That last line - that question - is very poignant. I think some people are eager to get the funeral out of the way, in order to allow them to mourn properly, without putting on a brave face. But it's to be hoped the support is still there.

Very well done.

Av

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 14-Feb-2014

Thanks, Av

I guess what I see is that support is there, but when you are abruptly left on your own, all alone in the house that you used to share, it certainly feels enormously lonely.

Steve

Comment from Just2Write

Exceptional

Congrats on your 3rd place finish with this poem, Steve. It was a superb entry.


This is such a powerful poem that gets its message across in just 17 syllables. We all wonder how we will cope when this moment ever comes to visit us. For anyone who has lost a loved one, this will hit home - but it is most poignant for the person who has lost a lifetime partner.
Excellent work.
Rose.

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 14-Feb-2014

Rose, thanks for the great review and the six stars.

Fortunately this is not my own experience, but it must be overwhelmingly true for many.

Steve

Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

This is very good with a very appropriate picture. It is so true when a person loses a loved one there are so many around to support and sympathise that, although you are mourning, you have not time to think too much about it and feel supported - then everyone goes home and you are left - that's when you feel lonely and lost. Very well expressed in so few words. Good Luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 14-Feb-2014

Thanks, Dorothy - that's exactly what I wanted to convey - everyone goes home - to their own lives and the loneliness is overwhelming.

Steve

Comment from Hollyhock

Excellent

Lovely summing-up of those moments when the emptiness closes in. Sometimes less is more and this 5-7-5 certainly evokes many more thoughts and emotions than actually stated. You have the ability to go right to the heart of a situation and select the moment which raises an echo in most people's hearts.
"What do I do now" - so simple and yet so anguished in its helplessness.

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 14-Feb-2014

Thanks, Andrea - that is exactly what I wanted to convey - that moment really when you are so totally alone.

Steve

Comment from royowen

Excellent

So much contained in so little. Great art choice! Great haiku or ?. It takes a really special inspiration to nail these 5-7-5!I think you've done it with this one! Well done, Steve, cheers, Roy.

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 14-Feb-2014

Thanks, Roy.

I felt the title was an important part of this so I couldn't try to pretend it was a haiku or senryu, because they are fussy about not having extra info in a title; hence it is in a 5-7-5 contest!

Glad you felt it works.

Steve

Comment from ExperiencingLiphe

Excellent

I work in retail and I have had many older people come through my line and talk about their other halfs that have passed on. It's so special the way they talk about them. My heart breaks for them but also kind of smiles because they were able to know such amazing love. It's a special thing

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 14-Feb-2014

Thanks, EL

Yes, this experience must be common - thankfully not for me yet.

Steve

Comment from Jackarrie

Excellent

the mourners have gone
such a lovely funeral
what do I do now?

a very good 5-7-5 poem, so true, it is exactly that. How will life go on after the funeral

well done. good luck in the contest. Mary

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 14-Feb-2014

Thanks, Mary.

Steve

Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

This can be interpreted two ways which is makes it doubly good. Of course, the emptiness of life for the person left behind. Or maybe someone killed for revenge. Now his goal is over. LOL

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 14-Feb-2014

Well, what a twisted mind you must have - I think you are the only one to see that sinister interpretation!

Thanks for the interesting reading.

Steve

reply by Spitfire on 14-Feb-2014

I watch too many "Criminal Minds". Love that show. But it sure makes scared of walking alone at night or jogging through a park. LOL