A Continental Breakfast
flash fiction 100-150 word story27 total reviews
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Mikey
A perfect little piece of the macabre. Clever, well thought out and flash fiction for sure. Poor wifey. A can see why this was a winner, sorry I missed it for an extra vote. :)
I wonder how many times this scenario has been played out .... successfully. Does the girlfriend know what she's in for????? Great job. Congratulations my friend. Hugs - Lovi xoxoxo
  |
Hi Mikey
A perfect little piece of the macabre. Clever, well thought out and flash fiction for sure. Poor wifey. A can see why this was a winner, sorry I missed it for an extra vote. :)
I wonder how many times this scenario has been played out .... successfully. Does the girlfriend know what she's in for????? Great job. Congratulations my friend. Hugs - Lovi xoxoxo
Comment Written 16-Feb-2014
Comment from Popcorn69
This is cleverly written! Your straight forward plot gives a lot of information without using too may words. Nothing is wasted as you move this story from start to finish. Your last line should be an instant classic for stories like this on FS. Great job!
|
This is cleverly written! Your straight forward plot gives a lot of information without using too may words. Nothing is wasted as you move this story from start to finish. Your last line should be an instant classic for stories like this on FS. Great job!
Comment Written 11-Feb-2014
Comment from MagKing
Well this is a fine work, and a great concept which made an interesting read. It did match with the requirement of the contest. But there's something I didn't get, which is the last statement made in the short piece.
"I have always been more clever than the other children"
I don't get that?
Congratulations!
MagKing
|
Well this is a fine work, and a great concept which made an interesting read. It did match with the requirement of the contest. But there's something I didn't get, which is the last statement made in the short piece.
"I have always been more clever than the other children"
I don't get that?
Congratulations!
MagKing
Comment Written 10-Feb-2014
Comment from Green Lake Girl
Congrats on this contest win. You did a super job with the required words, and for writing such a clever story. The last line is my favorite.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
|
Congrats on this contest win. You did a super job with the required words, and for writing such a clever story. The last line is my favorite.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
-
Glad you liked it, especially the last line. People either like it or it draws a complete blank for some reason. Ha! Mikey
Comment from GWinterwin
Wow is now short story have a lot in it. Sounds like a rough time for you. Everything happened so fast, would be hard to comprehend all of this in such a short time.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
|
Wow is now short story have a lot in it. Sounds like a rough time for you. Everything happened so fast, would be hard to comprehend all of this in such a short time.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
-
True. A good chance I'll end up in jail too. Hahaha. Thank you, mikey
Comment from ProjectBluebook
Great job! Maybe, this will boost your spirit. Meets the parameters of a 100 150 slot, at your 146 words. Yelp, got all your words included in first paragraph. Looks like a championship fight from dusk till dawn. You got my vote, Lion King or is it Panther? Read 'em and weep!
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
 |
Great job! Maybe, this will boost your spirit. Meets the parameters of a 100 150 slot, at your 146 words. Yelp, got all your words included in first paragraph. Looks like a championship fight from dusk till dawn. You got my vote, Lion King or is it Panther? Read 'em and weep!
Comment Written 10-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
-
Thank you. This one really clicked into place. I shall buy you imaginary drinks if I win the imaginary money!! mikey
Comment from Glasstruth
This really takes several twists and turns. That's good. Kept me on my toes reading. It's not easy writing with such restrictions, but you did it. Great job! Les
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
|
This really takes several twists and turns. That's good. Kept me on my toes reading. It's not easy writing with such restrictions, but you did it. Great job! Les
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
-
Thank you. Glad you liked it. This one seemed to click for me. mikey
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Wow! Very clever with a clever and shocking ending. He went all out to make this seem real. He's going to get away with it too!. Or maybe not. What town is he in? I'm calling the cops! LOL!
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
|
Wow! Very clever with a clever and shocking ending. He went all out to make this seem real. He's going to get away with it too!. Or maybe not. What town is he in? I'm calling the cops! LOL!
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
-
He is a cop! Hahaha. Just threw that in. Glad you liked it. I hope I do well in case I get caught. I hear cigarettes cost five bucks a piece in jail!
-
LOL! A good way to stop smoking then. Always look on the bright side. :)
Comment from adewpearl
LOL - Well, the narrator is not a very nice man, is he? You've stayed within the contest's strict word limits and you've incorporated the required words well all while writing a story of crime and deception. Brooke
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
|
LOL - Well, the narrator is not a very nice man, is he? You've stayed within the contest's strict word limits and you've incorporated the required words well all while writing a story of crime and deception. Brooke
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
-
No he isn't. He had a knife, so I let him write his sordid little tale. Ha! Thank you for your encouraging words. Most appreciated!
Comment from flora loucheur
I did like the last line. I wonder: who threw the rock? who killed the wife? I love reading crime novels both fiction and non ,so, turn this into the "perfect little crime" novel. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
|
I did like the last line. I wonder: who threw the rock? who killed the wife? I love reading crime novels both fiction and non ,so, turn this into the "perfect little crime" novel. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
-
Hmm. That's a thought. Perhaps I will. I will cross my fingers. Thank you very much. I can't tell you who killed the wife. It's a secret. The person that killed the wife threw the rock to signal that it was done. Hahaha. You made me come up with an answer. I hadn't thought about it.!!!
