Unravelled
Ummmm... it's a metaphor I think76 total reviews
Comment from kiwijenny
I love this ...
I love the imagery....time comes to us all. I realized today that we don't grow old we actually just get tired. Love is the Great Leveler.
Well done
God bless.................
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
I love this ...
I love the imagery....time comes to us all. I realized today that we don't grow old we actually just get tired. Love is the Great Leveler.
Well done
God bless.................
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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Thanks, Jenny
I guess that day I celebrated on Saturday was just me getting a little tireder....
Steve
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Happy birthday? How's the blood pressure? Hawthorn is great for the heart
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Thank you.
Haven't checked BP lately - assuming it's OK on the meds.
Nothing wrong with the heart I hope 'cept that it's big and strong from doing all that extra work...
Have a great day.
Steve
Comment from GracieAnn
kiwi, this ABC Poetry Contest entry is one of the most creative and unique abc entries that I have seen in a while. The initial question peaks the readers curiosity and as the write unfolds, the unexpected identification is reveal. The impact of the "leveler" is full of truth. All the best in the contest! :0 GracieAnn
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
kiwi, this ABC Poetry Contest entry is one of the most creative and unique abc entries that I have seen in a while. The initial question peaks the readers curiosity and as the write unfolds, the unexpected identification is reveal. The impact of the "leveler" is full of truth. All the best in the contest! :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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Thanks, GracieAnne
I'm not sure what it means myself, so it's interesting to see the different interpretations....
Steve
Comment from Janet Foor
Question the Maker and fight for the Ball;
Race round the Clock-Face from cradle to pall;
Snatch at the Roses that die as they fall,
'Til Love the Great Leveller renders us small
And Time the Unraveller does for us all
interesting picture for us to ponder as we read this intriguing abc poem. Well done and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
Question the Maker and fight for the Ball;
Race round the Clock-Face from cradle to pall;
Snatch at the Roses that die as they fall,
'Til Love the Great Leveller renders us small
And Time the Unraveller does for us all
interesting picture for us to ponder as we read this intriguing abc poem. Well done and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi kiwisteveh,
Time the unravelled certainly does unravel us all. Good poem, and you've managed to provide an overview of the cycle of life.
Patrick
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
Hi kiwisteveh,
Time the unravelled certainly does unravel us all. Good poem, and you've managed to provide an overview of the cycle of life.
Patrick
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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Thank you, Patrick!
Steve
Comment from Bayberry
This is a bold ABC entry that is well-presented. It's an eye-catcher, for sure. The mono-rhyme is on target and feels natural, where many times it definitely feels forced. Best wishes with your entry.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
This is a bold ABC entry that is well-presented. It's an eye-catcher, for sure. The mono-rhyme is on target and feels natural, where many times it definitely feels forced. Best wishes with your entry.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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Thanks for the review and good wishes.
Steve
Comment from Pili Pubul
Yes it is a metaphor alright, and a very good one. Time catch up with us all
very original , love the style and powerful images of what is there to come.
Good luck in the contest. Pili
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
Yes it is a metaphor alright, and a very good one. Time catch up with us all
very original , love the style and powerful images of what is there to come.
Good luck in the contest. Pili
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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Thanks, Pili!
Steve
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You very welcome. Pili
Comment from twinklepoems
A very good contest entry to the ABC contest. I like the story you tell and the words you use to tell it. Question the maker (more what we do when we are younger...questioning it all.)I love the line: 'Til love the great leveler renders us small. Good work!
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
A very good contest entry to the ABC contest. I like the story you tell and the words you use to tell it. Question the maker (more what we do when we are younger...questioning it all.)I love the line: 'Til love the great leveler renders us small. Good work!
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from rouskin
Question the Maker and fight for the Ball;
Race round the Clock-Face from cradle to pall;
Snatch at the Roses that die as they fall,
'Til Love the Great Leveller renders us small
And Time the Unraveller does for us all.
Ummmm...Very interesting read I think
Best of luck in your contest
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
Question the Maker and fight for the Ball;
Race round the Clock-Face from cradle to pall;
Snatch at the Roses that die as they fall,
'Til Love the Great Leveller renders us small
And Time the Unraveller does for us all.
Ummmm...Very interesting read I think
Best of luck in your contest
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from Just2Write
This is such a strong contender for the ABC poetry contest.
I don't know why, but I had not considered a mono rhyme for an ABC poem before. Don't have any idea why not - because this one works so well.
It reads much like a riddle-rhyme of olde -
A poem based in common sense, and with a lesson to be learned.
Time does march along, and for a time we get to march with him. We do run 'round the clock face a few times, and then we must abandon our quest and make room for those who follow.
Rose.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
This is such a strong contender for the ABC poetry contest.
I don't know why, but I had not considered a mono rhyme for an ABC poem before. Don't have any idea why not - because this one works so well.
It reads much like a riddle-rhyme of olde -
A poem based in common sense, and with a lesson to be learned.
Time does march along, and for a time we get to march with him. We do run 'round the clock face a few times, and then we must abandon our quest and make room for those who follow.
Rose.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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Thanks, Rose
I do like to rhyme and the five lines makes it difficult unless it's something like a Limerick, so I came up with this.
Steve
Comment from Gungalo
Question the Maker and fight for the Ball;
Race round the Clock-Face from cradle to pall;
Snatch at the Roses that die as they fall,
'Til Love the Great Leveller renders us small
And Time the Unraveller does for us all.
Yep, it's a metaphor all right Steve. I wonder where we all end up?
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
Question the Maker and fight for the Ball;
Race round the Clock-Face from cradle to pall;
Snatch at the Roses that die as they fall,
'Til Love the Great Leveller renders us small
And Time the Unraveller does for us all.
Yep, it's a metaphor all right Steve. I wonder where we all end up?
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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I think I know the answer to that one, but I don't know if it would be a very popular view on FS!
Thanks for reviewing.
Steve
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LOL I'm smiling.