Reviews from

Unravelled

Ummmm... it's a metaphor I think

76 total reviews 
Comment from kiwijenny
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I love this ...
I love the imagery....time comes to us all. I realized today that we don't grow old we actually just get tired. Love is the Great Leveler.
Well done
God bless.................

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2014


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
    Thanks, Jenny

    I guess that day I celebrated on Saturday was just me getting a little tireder....

    Steve
reply by kiwijenny on 10-Feb-2014
    Happy birthday? How's the blood pressure? Hawthorn is great for the heart
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
    Thank you.

    Haven't checked BP lately - assuming it's OK on the meds.

    Nothing wrong with the heart I hope 'cept that it's big and strong from doing all that extra work...

    Have a great day.

    Steve
Comment from GracieAnn
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

kiwi, this ABC Poetry Contest entry is one of the most creative and unique abc entries that I have seen in a while. The initial question peaks the readers curiosity and as the write unfolds, the unexpected identification is reveal. The impact of the "leveler" is full of truth. All the best in the contest! :0 GracieAnn

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2014


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
    Thanks, GracieAnne

    I'm not sure what it means myself, so it's interesting to see the different interpretations....

    Steve
Comment from Janet Foor
Excellent
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Question the Maker and fight for the Ball;
Race round the Clock-Face from cradle to pall;
Snatch at the Roses that die as they fall,
'Til Love the Great Leveller renders us small
And Time the Unraveller does for us all

interesting picture for us to ponder as we read this intriguing abc poem. Well done and good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2014


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
    Thank you!

    Steve
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Excellent
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Hi kiwisteveh,

Time the unravelled certainly does unravel us all. Good poem, and you've managed to provide an overview of the cycle of life.

Patrick

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2014


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
    Thank you, Patrick!

    Steve
Comment from Bayberry
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a bold ABC entry that is well-presented. It's an eye-catcher, for sure. The mono-rhyme is on target and feels natural, where many times it definitely feels forced. Best wishes with your entry.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2014


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
    Thanks for the review and good wishes.

    Steve
Comment from Pili Pubul
Excellent
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Yes it is a metaphor alright, and a very good one. Time catch up with us all
very original , love the style and powerful images of what is there to come.
Good luck in the contest. Pili

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2014


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
    Thanks, Pili!

    Steve
reply by Pili Pubul on 10-Feb-2014
    You very welcome. Pili
Comment from twinklepoems
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A very good contest entry to the ABC contest. I like the story you tell and the words you use to tell it. Question the maker (more what we do when we are younger...questioning it all.)I love the line: 'Til love the great leveler renders us small. Good work!

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2014


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
    Thank you!

    Steve
Comment from rouskin
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Question the Maker and fight for the Ball;
Race round the Clock-Face from cradle to pall;
Snatch at the Roses that die as they fall,
'Til Love the Great Leveller renders us small
And Time the Unraveller does for us all.

Ummmm...Very interesting read I think
Best of luck in your contest

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2014


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
    Thank you!

    Steve
Comment from Just2Write
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is such a strong contender for the ABC poetry contest.
I don't know why, but I had not considered a mono rhyme for an ABC poem before. Don't have any idea why not - because this one works so well.
It reads much like a riddle-rhyme of olde -
A poem based in common sense, and with a lesson to be learned.
Time does march along, and for a time we get to march with him. We do run 'round the clock face a few times, and then we must abandon our quest and make room for those who follow.
Rose.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2014


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
    Thanks, Rose

    I do like to rhyme and the five lines makes it difficult unless it's something like a Limerick, so I came up with this.

    Steve
Comment from Gungalo
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Question the Maker and fight for the Ball;
Race round the Clock-Face from cradle to pall;
Snatch at the Roses that die as they fall,
'Til Love the Great Leveller renders us small
And Time the Unraveller does for us all.

Yep, it's a metaphor all right Steve. I wonder where we all end up?

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2014


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
    I think I know the answer to that one, but I don't know if it would be a very popular view on FS!

    Thanks for reviewing.

    Steve
reply by Gungalo on 10-Feb-2014
    LOL I'm smiling.