Unravelled
Ummmm... it's a metaphor I think76 total reviews
Comment from Glasstruth
Like the consistency of the rhyming. Yes, we're all a small part of time's endless clock ticking silently, but the tock of the tick is there. You can't hear it, but yes, I do feel it. Very thought provoking. Les
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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Like the consistency of the rhyming. Yes, we're all a small part of time's endless clock ticking silently, but the tock of the tick is there. You can't hear it, but yes, I do feel it. Very thought provoking. Les
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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Thanks, Les - yes, I wanted to get people thinking and I've had some interesting interpretations of this.
Steve
Comment from c_lucas
This is very we;; written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very puzzling read. There is very good imagery and descriptive scheme.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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This is very we;; written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very puzzling read. There is very good imagery and descriptive scheme.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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Thanks, Charlie.
Like you, I don't have any idea what this is all about, but I'm enjoying reading everyone else's guesses!
Steve
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You're welcome Steve. Charlie
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
You have fulfilled the requirements for the ABC poetry contest. with five interesting lines. I wish you well in the contest. Regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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You have fulfilled the requirements for the ABC poetry contest. with five interesting lines. I wish you well in the contest. Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from Marillion
I like the one a lot, Steve! Compact with an economy of words, but with so much said for such a short piece. I really enjoyed it, along with the Carpe Diem message (or that's what I gleaned from it, anyway).
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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I like the one a lot, Steve! Compact with an economy of words, but with so much said for such a short piece. I really enjoyed it, along with the Carpe Diem message (or that's what I gleaned from it, anyway).
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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Carpe diem, tempus fugit, per ardua ad astra et carthago delenda est, Caesar sic in omnibus, Marcus et erat.
Clever buggers those Romans.
I'm glad you gleaned something from it....
Steve
Comment from GWinterwin
Good poem with a good picture to make it complete. Good word flow and rhyming as you tell of the unraveling of life and how that certain one puts it all back together.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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Good poem with a good picture to make it complete. Good word flow and rhyming as you tell of the unraveling of life and how that certain one puts it all back together.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from handmadecards
Very clever ABC competition entry, loved how the ball of wall ties it so we'll together. I had to read it twice, stumbled over the use of upper case mid sentence, is this intentional? Wonderful insightful piece.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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Very clever ABC competition entry, loved how the ball of wall ties it so we'll together. I had to read it twice, stumbled over the use of upper case mid sentence, is this intentional? Wonderful insightful piece.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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Thank you!
Sorry for the stumble - just trying to imply some extra depth and add to the unusual nature of it, I guess....
Steve
Comment from Adri7enne
Nice, Steve. I had to scroll back to realize it was ABC poetry. It makes a point, too. It's just a short jaunt into this dimension, then off to the next one, I guess. We should see it for what it is, at least now and again. Well done, Steve and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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Nice, Steve. I had to scroll back to realize it was ABC poetry. It makes a point, too. It's just a short jaunt into this dimension, then off to the next one, I guess. We should see it for what it is, at least now and again. Well done, Steve and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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Thank you.
yes, it can be read as five different comments, although some reviewers reckon they can work out a connection.... as for me, I'm just the poor schmuck who wrote it - I haven't got a clue!
Steve
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, kiwisteveh, you did an excellent job writing this monorhyme poem about the way love puts us all on a level playing field. I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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this is very well written, kiwisteveh, you did an excellent job writing this monorhyme poem about the way love puts us all on a level playing field. I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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Thank you - gla you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from Dawn Munro
Wow, this is quite the profound ABC poem, and it's mono-rhymed with a great meter too. Very impressive and a powerful entry for this contest! Best of luck.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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Wow, this is quite the profound ABC poem, and it's mono-rhymed with a great meter too. Very impressive and a powerful entry for this contest! Best of luck.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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Thank you, Dawn!
Steve
Comment from tfawcus
You manage to say quite a bit in these five lines, Steve. The extended metaphor of the ball of wool works well from beginning to end. An apt and amusing take on life! Not a word wasted!
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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You manage to say quite a bit in these five lines, Steve. The extended metaphor of the ball of wool works well from beginning to end. An apt and amusing take on life! Not a word wasted!
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014
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Thank you, Tony, for the great review and the six stars.
Steve
