Comment from FrannyG

Excellent

I really like this Steve. I like that you 'think it's a metaphor' which comment might help some readers unravel it. I love the language you've used; 'leveller', 'unraveller'. The images are great; racing round the clock-face, snatching at the roses. I think it's a metaphor too and an excellent one. I love the two last lines in particular. Excellent.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2014

---

reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014

Thanks, Franny

Yes, those two lines actually came to me first!

Steve

Comment from sunnilicious

Excellent

That is some wisdom bestowed in rhyme. Good poetic format followed. Good visual imagery created. Expressive and dramatic. Nice work. Good luck in the contest. Have a nice week too.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2014

---

reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014

Thank you!

Steve

Comment from maggieadams

Excellent

The grim reaper, I presume. Life, a race, must compete, no time to smell the roses, love hurts and time will "unravel" us all...again, you win. Good job, Steve .

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2014

---

reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014

Thanks, Maggie.

I have no idea what it means so your interpretation is as good as any... Just trying to bamboozle the judges!

Steve

Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

I dub thee one of the winners. This does gives the image of life as a rat race and how quickly time and beauty goes.
Some great philosophy here. Love is a leveler and so is old age. Death, definitely.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2014

---

reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014

Well thank you - I've never been a philosopher before, but it might be fun.... I'll dream up some more incomprehensible stuff and try it out!

Steve

Comment from 24chas

Excellent

I really enjoyed this piece, kiwisteveh. The opening line was really great. It jumped the reader right in to the piece. Nice job and good luck.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2014

---

reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014

Thank you!

Steve

Comment from Darkhorse555

Excellent

loved how this drew down unravelling especially these words Snatch at the Roses that die as they fall beautifully penned excellent piece

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2014

---

reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014

Thank you!

Steve

Comment from Alan K Pease

Excellent

A very good ABC poem for the contest showing the images in our mind as we move from one experience to another briefly touching God finally to the unraveller (who reduces us to the atoms where we came from). Hopefully our spirit lies with God. Appropriate graphics.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2014

---

reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014

Thanks, Alan. It has been interesting to see how different reviewers interpret this and which elements of it they focus on.

Steve

Comment from DALLAS01

Excellent

Race round the Clock-Face from cradle to pall;
Great opening line and isn't that what we do?
I liked the presentation stark back and white to drive home your point.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2014

---

reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014

Thank you!

Steve

reply by DALLAS01 on 10-Feb-2014

You're welcome

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

Your poem is in good ABC Poem form
good use of mono-rhyming
strong verb choices add power to your imperative statements
a thoughtful message of encouragement with a strong underlying spiritual tone
Brooke

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2014

---

reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014

Thanks, Brooke

Now some people think it's pessimistic....

Steve

Comment from emjaihammond

Excellent

I always hesitate to use the words thought provoking, but I can't help myself here. Your words and thoughts really do make one sit back and think for a minute, about what this means to me personally. Loved reading and reflecting. Nicely done.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2014

---

reply by the author on 10-Feb-2014

Thanks, MJ

Judging by the comments, it means a lot of things to different people....

Steve