The Sex Files
500 words The Perfect Lover16 total reviews
Comment from nelliesellie
It would make a good x-file story. Norman was a pretty happy spirit. He left a lot of women confused but happy. It was probably a little pay back too. I imagine a lot of good looking women would not give him the time of day when he was alive. Great work.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
  |
It would make a good x-file story. Norman was a pretty happy spirit. He left a lot of women confused but happy. It was probably a little pay back too. I imagine a lot of good looking women would not give him the time of day when he was alive. Great work.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2014
-
Thank you. I was thinking the same thing when I wrote it.
Comment from barleygirl
The premise of this story is well-conceived & amusing & entertaining, but unfortunately, there are a few bumps keeping it from being a great read. The first paragraph: "women aren?t supposed to care about such things" . . . this statement is unbelievable & off-putting early on. The penis size discussion is distracting, too. Doesn't seem to further the story. But it's still good writing, an imaginative story, & good luck if the contest is still underway.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2014
|
The premise of this story is well-conceived & amusing & entertaining, but unfortunately, there are a few bumps keeping it from being a great read. The first paragraph: "women aren?t supposed to care about such things" . . . this statement is unbelievable & off-putting early on. The penis size discussion is distracting, too. Doesn't seem to further the story. But it's still good writing, an imaginative story, & good luck if the contest is still underway.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2014
-
Thank you. I sorry those lines were off-putting for you, nothing in this work was serious, it was a spoof story. And I knew the penis thing and sex part may be disturbing for some readers, so I placed a warning on the top.
Thanks for reading it anyway.
-
It's not THAT the story contains sexual content which makes it off-putting. It's that the sexuality being expressed here is so far from anything I have ever experienced, it doesn't ring true for me. Like generalizing that all women don't care about sex? Come on, now! *smile*
-
I wasn't generalizing. It was a spoof. It wasn't real, and Holly didn't say "all" women. She was only speaking for herself. This was a fictional spoof, not a non-fiction, commentary, or essay.
Come on. If you take that part seriously, why not take the part about a woman having sex with a ghost seriously.
Right? *smile*
-
I understand what you're saying. I just think that a person must be made "A Believer" (in your story) at first, before a spoof can be successfully launched. My sense of "belief" got corrupted from that first unbelievable comment, whether or not it was a generalization or a fiction or whatever else.
-
I think we read things differently. I never believe fictional tales. That seems like a contradiction in my mind, but I understand everyone is different. You have a blessed day.
-
*smile*
Comment from Kenneth Schaal
Crazy--so she had sex with a dildo/vibrator at the office party? She has secluded herself in her bathroom with a vibrator for days, prompting an FBI inquiry into her where about? all of the above? Quirky little story, but interesting. Good luck. Kenny
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2014
|
Crazy--so she had sex with a dildo/vibrator at the office party? She has secluded herself in her bathroom with a vibrator for days, prompting an FBI inquiry into her where about? all of the above? Quirky little story, but interesting. Good luck. Kenny
Comment Written 08-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2014
-
Thank you very much, Kenny. I appreciate the read.
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Mystery writer ... this was an imaginative premise ... to spoof the x-files and present a super pheromone ghost to the reader. I love the fact that this wasn't divulged until the end of the read. Very unexpected ... as a reader I love to be surprised, and I was!
Well written. Held my interest from start to finish. Best wishes for the contest!
Connie :)
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2014
|
Mystery writer ... this was an imaginative premise ... to spoof the x-files and present a super pheromone ghost to the reader. I love the fact that this wasn't divulged until the end of the read. Very unexpected ... as a reader I love to be surprised, and I was!
Well written. Held my interest from start to finish. Best wishes for the contest!
Connie :)
Comment Written 08-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2014
-
Thank you very much, Connie. I'm glad you enjoyed the spoof.
Comment from flora loucheur
Loved the opening paragraph and the phrase 'multiple showers in whatever peace she could find . . .'
Not sure why Holly was being questioned. Was she considered a missing person from work after two weeks?
Good ending!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
 |
Loved the opening paragraph and the phrase 'multiple showers in whatever peace she could find . . .'
Not sure why Holly was being questioned. Was she considered a missing person from work after two weeks?
Good ending!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2014
Comment from humpwhistle
Good concept, but I feel you might have rushed it. Perhaps the prompt has a word limit. Also, I think you might have used a male for the agent, thereby eliminating some of the confusion with the pronouns 'she' and 'her'. Just a thought.
Good luck at the polls.
Peace, Lee
?I?ve been sworn to celibacy.?--the next line suggests that you mean 'monogamy' as opposed to 'celibacy'. Not sure.
would you say is his penis was?? --this might need a little work.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
|
Good concept, but I feel you might have rushed it. Perhaps the prompt has a word limit. Also, I think you might have used a male for the agent, thereby eliminating some of the confusion with the pronouns 'she' and 'her'. Just a thought.
Good luck at the polls.
Peace, Lee
?I?ve been sworn to celibacy.?--the next line suggests that you mean 'monogamy' as opposed to 'celibacy'. Not sure.
would you say is his penis was?? --this might need a little work.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
-
Thank you. I thought I fixed that line but I guess I didn't save it. It was rushed, because for some reason when I entered there was only three entries and the time was ending. But then, It was extended by three more days. Why, I don't know, but Tom doesn't always follow his own rules.
Comment from EMB
I didn't watch many of the X-files, but I do remember an episode where this man with some kind of powerful pheromones was killing women some kind of way by seducing them to death (or something like that). Was that episode the inspiration for this? Haha!
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
|
I didn't watch many of the X-files, but I do remember an episode where this man with some kind of powerful pheromones was killing women some kind of way by seducing them to death (or something like that). Was that episode the inspiration for this? Haha!
Comment Written 07-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
-
Thank you. No, I don't remember that episode but I can see them making that. They had so many good episodes.
Comment from mfowler
Touch of X Files here. The sex sounds exciting, but the baby penis brought it down to earth.. I like that you've exposéd Norman, the boring looking, but super lover , while keeping his real supernatural identity mysterious. Good flash.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
|
Touch of X Files here. The sex sounds exciting, but the baby penis brought it down to earth.. I like that you've exposéd Norman, the boring looking, but super lover , while keeping his real supernatural identity mysterious. Good flash.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
-
Thank you. Yeah, Norman proved good things come in small packages.
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi the author,
This ghost must be some lover if he can do all this with a penis that small ...
This is a great spoof of the X-Files, Holly seems to have been left in a catatonic state by her encounter with 'Norman' and I suspect Agent Schoolie is jealous.
One correction I think -
in inches would say is his penis was?? - insert comma after inches and delete 'is' - in inches(,) would say his penis was??
Patrick
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
|
Hi the author,
This ghost must be some lover if he can do all this with a penis that small ...
This is a great spoof of the X-Files, Holly seems to have been left in a catatonic state by her encounter with 'Norman' and I suspect Agent Schoolie is jealous.
One correction I think -
in inches would say is his penis was?? - insert comma after inches and delete 'is' - in inches(,) would say his penis was??
Patrick
Comment Written 07-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
-
Thank you. Yes, I think you're right, there is a missing word. Good eyes.
Comment from DonandVicki
Whew!!! Quite a sizzling story and your words keep the readers interest all the way through. The Steamy photograph enhances your work. Don
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
|
Whew!!! Quite a sizzling story and your words keep the readers interest all the way through. The Steamy photograph enhances your work. Don
Comment Written 05-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
-
Thank you very much. I wanted a picture of a ghost in the shower but they are camera shy.
