The Wheel of Miss Fortune
Endless Error43 total reviews
Comment from Kingsland
As always write your poetry flawless in the way you present your poetic verve. The poetic language here is presented in some excellent vocabulary. You are the best technical writer on this site and it shows in everything you post here. I enjoyed reading and responding to this excellent piece of poetic art... John
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
As always write your poetry flawless in the way you present your poetic verve. The poetic language here is presented in some excellent vocabulary. You are the best technical writer on this site and it shows in everything you post here. I enjoyed reading and responding to this excellent piece of poetic art... John
Comment Written 03-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
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Thanks so much, John. I really appreciate your kind words and great review.
Comment from Patti R.
I think this is an excellent poem! Your attention to the poetic detail is phenomenal - internal rhymes that are precise, not sloppy; excellent cadence to the entire read. Leaving the lines as 'fourteeners' was the best choice as it keeps the piece flowing.
It seems evident to me that there is an underlying story, perhaps biographical, perhaps fiction. Guy and girl hit it off, he admits that she is smart, maybe too smart as his muscle-bound ego cannot take the banter ... so he simply relies on what he presumes are his best attributes, his looks, and spins the wheel again ... round and round she goes, where she stops, nobody knows. A very interesting poem.
Patti
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
I think this is an excellent poem! Your attention to the poetic detail is phenomenal - internal rhymes that are precise, not sloppy; excellent cadence to the entire read. Leaving the lines as 'fourteeners' was the best choice as it keeps the piece flowing.
It seems evident to me that there is an underlying story, perhaps biographical, perhaps fiction. Guy and girl hit it off, he admits that she is smart, maybe too smart as his muscle-bound ego cannot take the banter ... so he simply relies on what he presumes are his best attributes, his looks, and spins the wheel again ... round and round she goes, where she stops, nobody knows. A very interesting poem.
Patti
Comment Written 03-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
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Hi Pattie! That's a great interpretation, and I would have to say that it's at least partially that, along with a few other little tidbits. I really appreciate your great review.
Comment from Domino 2
Clever title, David.
A pleasure as always to read your wonderfully smooth meter and apparently un-forced rhymes, together with your terrific wit, David.
either I've led a sheltered life, of 'love-benumning ' is a great made-up word to meet the fun meter.
I'm running out of compliments for your superior rhymed/structured/metered poetry, but yet again you clear the bar easily.
Here's another sixer.
Best wishes, Ted
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
Clever title, David.
A pleasure as always to read your wonderfully smooth meter and apparently un-forced rhymes, together with your terrific wit, David.
either I've led a sheltered life, of 'love-benumning ' is a great made-up word to meet the fun meter.
I'm running out of compliments for your superior rhymed/structured/metered poetry, but yet again you clear the bar easily.
Here's another sixer.
Best wishes, Ted
Comment Written 03-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
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Thank you so very much, Ted, for the sixer, and for the great review. Here's a secret for you: anytime you see a word preceded by be-, it's usually an archaic word that you can resurrect, and I just love to hyphenate words so you can create a compound image. I may have gotten a little carried away in this one, though...
Anyway, many thanks for everything, my friend. :)
David
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I have trouble 'resurrecting' myself, David, let alone words. :-)
A pleasure, my talented friend. Ted.
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The words are actually easier, my friend. Thank you! David
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Please don't forget to check out my port occasionally, though I haven't posted much lately.
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Done, and done, my friend. Thanks for the reminder. You and your anonymous entries...
Comment from allborn66
This is a wonderful poem. The rhyming scheme and form enhances the piece. You communicate the theme well. The picture is a good choice.
Barbara
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
This is a wonderful poem. The rhyming scheme and form enhances the piece. You communicate the theme well. The picture is a good choice.
Barbara
Comment Written 03-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
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Thank you very much, Barbara. I appreciate your review!
Comment from tfawcus
Apart from the assured ebb and flow of this poem, which is just a delight, I have to give you a sixer for 'stiletto-chiseled truth' and 'ego-shaped contusions'! Your muse has been working overtime!
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
Apart from the assured ebb and flow of this poem, which is just a delight, I have to give you a sixer for 'stiletto-chiseled truth' and 'ego-shaped contusions'! Your muse has been working overtime!
Comment Written 03-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
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Tony! Many thanks for the sixer, sir, and for the shout-out to my hyphenated creations. I do love using those, and it means a lot that you like them. Much appreciation, my friend.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
David, this is really very good. The internal rhyming works well. When reading I automatically pause where your line ending might have been. I think, though, splitting the lines into 7/7 couplets might have slowed it down. It is perfect. Nine couplets and I find it hard to choose one over the others, but I was struck by your second one. It's a clever write but I wonder how long you can keep spinning your heart without it getting dizzy LOL. A good read. You are churning out the poems - I think you're heading for the top. Good Luck - Regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
David, this is really very good. The internal rhyming works well. When reading I automatically pause where your line ending might have been. I think, though, splitting the lines into 7/7 couplets might have slowed it down. It is perfect. Nine couplets and I find it hard to choose one over the others, but I was struck by your second one. It's a clever write but I wonder how long you can keep spinning your heart without it getting dizzy LOL. A good read. You are churning out the poems - I think you're heading for the top. Good Luck - Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 03-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
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Thank you very much, Dorothy, for your kind words. I'm honestly not concerned about headed anywhere except better poetry, but it's nice of you to say. I always appreciate your thoughts.
Comment from Kenneth Schaal
A retort in Hectometer, rhyming on the 7s as well as the line ends? Brilliant use of language and poetics. The imagery makes the verse come alive. Take six and climb. Kenny
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
A retort in Hectometer, rhyming on the 7s as well as the line ends? Brilliant use of language and poetics. The imagery makes the verse come alive. Take six and climb. Kenny
Comment Written 03-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
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Thanks so much, Kenny, for the sixer, brother, and for your awesome review and comments. I do appreciate you.
Comment from L.A.Matthies
Aptly titled, this is an excellent example of word mastery! I love 'stiletto-chiseled truth' , just fabulous. Terrific use of rhyme scheme at the end of each line and internally as well :)
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
Aptly titled, this is an excellent example of word mastery! I love 'stiletto-chiseled truth' , just fabulous. Terrific use of rhyme scheme at the end of each line and internally as well :)
Comment Written 03-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
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Thank you so much, L.A. I have to admit I was pretty pleased with that image, too. You know, every now and again you hit on one that keeps you coming back, kind of like a good shot in golf. I appreciate your kind words.
Comment from queenv
Real cute and written well with a double meaning. The stanzas have rhythm. The picture depicts the meaning of the poem. Great job!
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
Real cute and written well with a double meaning. The stanzas have rhythm. The picture depicts the meaning of the poem. Great job!
Comment Written 03-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
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Thank you very much, queenv. I appreciate it. :)
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Cleverly titled, cleverly worded. I wasn't sure why 'english' wasn't capitalized. Rhyming between her and demeanor, that's great. Other clever line I like is:
she fries me with a battered common sense
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
Cleverly titled, cleverly worded. I wasn't sure why 'english' wasn't capitalized. Rhyming between her and demeanor, that's great. Other clever line I like is:
she fries me with a battered common sense
Comment Written 03-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2014
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Thank you, Cookie! You know, I had that capitalized and for some reason un-capitalized it. Will fix that...again. ;-) Thank you.