Henhouse Hera
The Green-Eyed Monstress32 total reviews
Comment from mickbey
This poem is creative, clever, and humorous for sure, plus I like term "Monstress," that's unique and original, the same way I'd describe the poem, this is a fun read.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2014
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This poem is creative, clever, and humorous for sure, plus I like term "Monstress," that's unique and original, the same way I'd describe the poem, this is a fun read.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2014
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Thank you very much, mick. That term may show up in my next riposte, too I appreciate it.
Comment from A Jesterstear
Ha-ha! wonderful, I really wish I had some sixes, love the guy in the picture, a real charmer. Again a great free flowing rhyming AABB with extremely humorous content. Well done. AJ.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2014
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Ha-ha! wonderful, I really wish I had some sixes, love the guy in the picture, a real charmer. Again a great free flowing rhyming AABB with extremely humorous content. Well done. AJ.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2014
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Thank you, brother, for the great review. Do you have any new ones out?
Comment from Kenneth Schaal
To all the Aphrodite's that I loved before. You're a master of this form. Eat your heart out Willie. The rogue just can't stay quiet for long. Kenny
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2014
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To all the Aphrodite's that I loved before. You're a master of this form. Eat your heart out Willie. The rogue just can't stay quiet for long. Kenny
Comment Written 31-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2014
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Amen, brother. Thank you very much, Kenny! No, he can't, especially when called out!
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, marillion, you did an excellent job writing this quatrain poem about the henhouse madam that is jealous of the rogue's conquests. I enjoyed reading it
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2014
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this is very well written, marillion, you did an excellent job writing this quatrain poem about the henhouse madam that is jealous of the rogue's conquests. I enjoyed reading it
Comment Written 31-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2014
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Thank you very much, Jax! I appreciate it.
Comment from rama devi
The pacing is swift and penetrating (LOL) so the enjambement is effective. Brilliantly done, actually (as usual from you).
Flawless meter, creative rhyming, consistent tone and tenor to suit the 'theme'.
It's sure to have the hens howling (LOL) The rogue's antics make them frantic.
Lots of great poetic devices (alliteration, consonance, assonance etc).
Clever rhyming, especially this:
So don't be so indignant when you illustrate the scene
And kinship turns malignant when her eyes are burning green.
Chuckling,
rd
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2014
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The pacing is swift and penetrating (LOL) so the enjambement is effective. Brilliantly done, actually (as usual from you).
Flawless meter, creative rhyming, consistent tone and tenor to suit the 'theme'.
It's sure to have the hens howling (LOL) The rogue's antics make them frantic.
Lots of great poetic devices (alliteration, consonance, assonance etc).
Clever rhyming, especially this:
So don't be so indignant when you illustrate the scene
And kinship turns malignant when her eyes are burning green.
Chuckling,
rd
Comment Written 31-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2014
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Thank you so much, my friend. I so value your thoughts. Have a great weekend.
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You too!
Comment from paulah60
Friday...FRIDAY! WTF! It's Saturday here! Ah yes... I can see what's happening. Someone perhaps fears the northern meters from the southern heaters, us wenches Down Under (geographically, not for the rogue's pleasure)! Yet another piece of metrical perfection from the master, but I smell fear under the vitriol. Could it be that the tables have turned? Is the rogue getting a tad...soft? ;-) Could it be that the taming of the shrew is turning into the taming of the roue?
Saturday or not though, one of the sisters gave me a heads-up on my Friday, your Thursday. And I have a little riposte in store. Apologies in advance, dear Rogue, as it may depotentiate (a highfalutin way of saying render him impotent, but I would never, NEVER say that to him on a public forum. I'm way too much of a lady for that). Anyway, my piece is very tongue in cheek (see I'm a very cunning linguist too).
As always, David, love the fun, and your talent continues to astound me!
Cheers
Paula
PS: jealous or not, Hera was way too powerful to be confined to a henhouse. She scared the crap out of her own hubby, and anyone who could do that to the mighty Zeus is an absolute force to be reckoned with!
One question, had to read this line a couple of times: It damages the stricture of the man you paint an imp (is that meant to be AS imp?)
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2014
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Friday...FRIDAY! WTF! It's Saturday here! Ah yes... I can see what's happening. Someone perhaps fears the northern meters from the southern heaters, us wenches Down Under (geographically, not for the rogue's pleasure)! Yet another piece of metrical perfection from the master, but I smell fear under the vitriol. Could it be that the tables have turned? Is the rogue getting a tad...soft? ;-) Could it be that the taming of the shrew is turning into the taming of the roue?
Saturday or not though, one of the sisters gave me a heads-up on my Friday, your Thursday. And I have a little riposte in store. Apologies in advance, dear Rogue, as it may depotentiate (a highfalutin way of saying render him impotent, but I would never, NEVER say that to him on a public forum. I'm way too much of a lady for that). Anyway, my piece is very tongue in cheek (see I'm a very cunning linguist too).
As always, David, love the fun, and your talent continues to astound me!
Cheers
Paula
PS: jealous or not, Hera was way too powerful to be confined to a henhouse. She scared the crap out of her own hubby, and anyone who could do that to the mighty Zeus is an absolute force to be reckoned with!
One question, had to read this line a couple of times: It damages the stricture of the man you paint an imp (is that meant to be AS imp?)
Comment Written 31-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2014
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Hey there! Sorry for the oversight on days. Let's just say that you're eligible, as it's Friday here, and I so love your work, so fire away if you'd like to. Yes, Hera was a scary lady, and perhaps the rogue is actually roguish out of fear. Hmmm....
Thank you as always, for your time, my friend, and your kind words...and the other words, which has me very much looking forward to whatever you have to say.
As for the line in question, it's a way to say you paint the man as an imp, so either way would work. I felt like saying as imp wasn't as natural as using an, so it was a 50/50 thing, really.
Comment from tfawcus
This one should ruffle a few feathers! I can already hear the clucking of disapproval! There will surely be some great responses to this challenge by
"the rogue you hate en masse,
Who sized you up and hammered you in your collective ass."
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2014
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This one should ruffle a few feathers! I can already hear the clucking of disapproval! There will surely be some great responses to this challenge by
"the rogue you hate en masse,
Who sized you up and hammered you in your collective ass."
Comment Written 31-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2014
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Tony, there you are! I haven't seen you about lately, but it's great to see your name come up, and I'm very grateful for the sixer, and the great review. Yes, I have NO doubt I'll pay for this one.
Comment from mfowler
Your final line about hammering the collective ass is very suggestive and sounds painful. I suggest this should excite and invite the brood back to the skirmish. The military position taken in verse one, when your member is described as a soldier at attention, should remind them of your aggressive potential. I see on reflection that in vs three, you were setting up the final 'ass' challenge when you suggested that this be a means to an end. With some kneeling and reclining in verse four, you have really offered the battle plans for the encounter. With their backs to the wall, you should go on the attack. I suggest lining them up, and with bayonet prone, charge, enter enemy territory and plunder. Roger, and out.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2014
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Your final line about hammering the collective ass is very suggestive and sounds painful. I suggest this should excite and invite the brood back to the skirmish. The military position taken in verse one, when your member is described as a soldier at attention, should remind them of your aggressive potential. I see on reflection that in vs three, you were setting up the final 'ass' challenge when you suggested that this be a means to an end. With some kneeling and reclining in verse four, you have really offered the battle plans for the encounter. With their backs to the wall, you should go on the attack. I suggest lining them up, and with bayonet prone, charge, enter enemy territory and plunder. Roger, and out.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2014
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You, my friend, are a master of innuendo interpretation, and to my knowledge, you're the first to capture those little nuances that I'm so proud of, but so disappointed when nobody gets them. Sometimes I wonder if I should just scribble out the obvious stuff without worrying about nuance, but I can't help it. Anyway, thanks so much for your incredibly insightful review.
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I hope you appreciated 'roger, and out!' It was totally about being 'in-your-end-oh!"
I think the trick is to expect from you; and then go looking. For a casual reviewer, it's easier not to make the effort as they may not know the context of the female challenge on offer.
But, you should bother; cos you're so dammed good at it. Peopel like Paulah60 and Pipersfancy (and others) are having agreat time with it. They tell me.
How do people respond to your more personal and sensitive works, such as the one about caring for your father?
Comment from Gloria ....
Well Rogue this poem is the epitome of elegant architecture which is the reason for the exceptional rating. That is with the possible exception you didn't rhyme internally in S3. ;-) But because him or should I say his self has so firmly entrenched his self within the stanza, and enemy camps I must issue the sixth star for audacity alone. Then there's the other thing -- I know it was done intentionally. So, thumbs up to you because you've taught me a new trick.
Even better, (thanks to RD's keen eye) I now see slant internal rhymes within internal rhymes which works effectively in accentuating the thrust and beat. Another weapon for my arsenal.
You are a cagey one, so this gonna be fun to watch. This is very, very good. I might even be a tad impressed. ;-)
Gloria
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2014
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Well Rogue this poem is the epitome of elegant architecture which is the reason for the exceptional rating. That is with the possible exception you didn't rhyme internally in S3. ;-) But because him or should I say his self has so firmly entrenched his self within the stanza, and enemy camps I must issue the sixth star for audacity alone. Then there's the other thing -- I know it was done intentionally. So, thumbs up to you because you've taught me a new trick.
Even better, (thanks to RD's keen eye) I now see slant internal rhymes within internal rhymes which works effectively in accentuating the thrust and beat. Another weapon for my arsenal.
You are a cagey one, so this gonna be fun to watch. This is very, very good. I might even be a tad impressed. ;-)
Gloria
Comment Written 31-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2014
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Thank you very much, my friend, for allowing the exceptional rating when I know we're at battle of sorts, but that says a lot about you. Actually, I did rhyme in S3, in both couplets. :-) Check again. Compound rhyme on the first (see me/be me), and a regular rhyme in the second.
I utilize assonance constantly and collectively throughout, even beyond the standard rhymes. I call it a good tool for poetic cohesion, which is especially effective in the longer-lined poems.
Thank you very much, my friend.
Comment from Kingsland
I'm not sure that the pace was rapid, but the poem is well written with excellently written poetic expressions. You have a good sense of humor in this well written verse as well as good flow. I enjoyed partaking of this well written verse... John
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2014
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I'm not sure that the pace was rapid, but the poem is well written with excellently written poetic expressions. You have a good sense of humor in this well written verse as well as good flow. I enjoyed partaking of this well written verse... John
Comment Written 31-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2014
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Thank you very much, John. I appreciate it.
