Nothing is a Substitute
rhyming quatrains in 8/6/8/6163 total reviews
Comment from Dawn of Tomorrow
Awwwww that's so sweet. I love that closing line. So many people in life that applies to. Our children, our mates, our grandchildren, just anyone who brings joy into your life. I love this.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2014
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Awwwww that's so sweet. I love that closing line. So many people in life that applies to. Our children, our mates, our grandchildren, just anyone who brings joy into your life. I love this.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2014
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Jo Lynn, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from RGstar
''When breezes blow my kite from site, I wait for its return''
What a beautiful sentence, and how many meanings is it suited to?
I found this to be close to an allegory.
So rich we're the sentences that contributed to so manny situations in life that it was difficult not to see parts of one's own life imbedded in this write.
I enjoyed this because of the fact that any of the meanings could very well contribute to its nearness in excepting compatibility with much of similar.
A great write, Brooke,
RGstar
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2014
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''When breezes blow my kite from site, I wait for its return''
What a beautiful sentence, and how many meanings is it suited to?
I found this to be close to an allegory.
So rich we're the sentences that contributed to so manny situations in life that it was difficult not to see parts of one's own life imbedded in this write.
I enjoyed this because of the fact that any of the meanings could very well contribute to its nearness in excepting compatibility with much of similar.
A great write, Brooke,
RGstar
Comment Written 27-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2014
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RG, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
Comment from evrenios
Such a sweet homage this is! It is absolutely delightful and better than what I read on many cards. I don't mean this as an insult - rather a complement. Have you thought about sending these to Hallmark and making some real money? This charming poem absolutely fits into Valentine's day and expresses the sentiments of many who are away from their loved ones. Just thoiught I would ask about where you are going with all your poetry.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2014
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Such a sweet homage this is! It is absolutely delightful and better than what I read on many cards. I don't mean this as an insult - rather a complement. Have you thought about sending these to Hallmark and making some real money? This charming poem absolutely fits into Valentine's day and expresses the sentiments of many who are away from their loved ones. Just thoiught I would ask about where you are going with all your poetry.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2014
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evrenios, than you so very much for your encouragement :-) Brooke
Comment from Pilot2Pen
There seems to be an antidote
for all that makes me blue,
but nothing is a substitute
when I'm apart from you.
Another great poem. Grandchildren are salve for grandparents aches and pains. Love your talent.
Ken
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2014
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There seems to be an antidote
for all that makes me blue,
but nothing is a substitute
when I'm apart from you.
Another great poem. Grandchildren are salve for grandparents aches and pains. Love your talent.
Ken
Comment Written 27-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2014
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Ken, thanks so much for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment from fastdigits
Your grandson, of course, sets the
tone for this beautiful piece of
poetry set in rhyming quatrains that
after telling the tale of various
things one can do to substitute for
blues in the day really touches the
heart with the ending quatrains:
"there seems to be an antidote
for all that makes me blue,
but noting is a substitute
when I'm apart from you.
Beautifully written from the heart
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2014
 |
Your grandson, of course, sets the
tone for this beautiful piece of
poetry set in rhyming quatrains that
after telling the tale of various
things one can do to substitute for
blues in the day really touches the
heart with the ending quatrains:
"there seems to be an antidote
for all that makes me blue,
but noting is a substitute
when I'm apart from you.
Beautifully written from the heart
Comment Written 27-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2014
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fastdigits, thank you so very much - you are always so gracious and encouraging :-) Brooke
Comment from goompa
So good Brooke I'm tempted to use the last stanza to put on the handmade valentine I make for my wife each year. Very lovely
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2014
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So good Brooke I'm tempted to use the last stanza to put on the handmade valentine I make for my wife each year. Very lovely
Comment Written 27-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2014
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Goompa, you have made my day :-) Brooke
Comment from ravenblack
Judging from all his adventures outside and the time you and yours invest in shuttling Sawyer from adventure to adventure, I think there is one substitute you will never have to worry about- tv for playing outside.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2014
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Judging from all his adventures outside and the time you and yours invest in shuttling Sawyer from adventure to adventure, I think there is one substitute you will never have to worry about- tv for playing outside.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2014
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Thank you so much, ravenblack. Sawyer is allowed minimal TV time, you're right. Even when they're just spending the day at home, hours are spent in their back yard. :-) Brooke
Comment from juliaSjames
What a charming poem, Brooke.
I love the upbeat tone of your write. Recalled the song from South Pacific.
"When the skies are brighter canary yellow
I forget ev'ry cloud I've ever seen,
So they called me a cockeyed optimist
Immature and incurably green."
The final verse resonated with me. Nothing replaces the presence of a loved one. Not even chatting on skype!
Is there slant rhyme in some of your stanzas, sight/out, more/round? or doesn't it matter in these quatrains?
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2014
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What a charming poem, Brooke.
I love the upbeat tone of your write. Recalled the song from South Pacific.
"When the skies are brighter canary yellow
I forget ev'ry cloud I've ever seen,
So they called me a cockeyed optimist
Immature and incurably green."
The final verse resonated with me. Nothing replaces the presence of a loved one. Not even chatting on skype!
Is there slant rhyme in some of your stanzas, sight/out, more/round? or doesn't it matter in these quatrains?
Comment Written 27-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2014
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Thanks so much, Julia. I did not intend those as slant rhymes - I was using an abcb rhyming pattern :-) I love that song :-) Brooke
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Gotcha!
Comment from Selina Stambi
Brooke .. I'm out of words, really ... still smiling broadly from the previous poem.
What can I say .. I know ... well written with a smooth flow of words (guess who??) ... okay, I'm being a wicked imp, aren't I? :)
Hugs,
Sonali xxx
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2014
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Brooke .. I'm out of words, really ... still smiling broadly from the previous poem.
What can I say .. I know ... well written with a smooth flow of words (guess who??) ... okay, I'm being a wicked imp, aren't I? :)
Hugs,
Sonali xxx
Comment Written 27-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2014
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Sonali, you've left me smiling :-) Thank you! Brooke
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
Brooke, as always, your writing here is fresh, direct and appealing. All your antidotes are lovely, but I particularly like "...when the hearth fire's dying out, / I watch its embers burn." Love, Jeanie
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2014
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Brooke, as always, your writing here is fresh, direct and appealing. All your antidotes are lovely, but I particularly like "...when the hearth fire's dying out, / I watch its embers burn." Love, Jeanie
Comment Written 27-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2014
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Jeanie, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
