Lord of Darkness
The Fall and Rise of Lucifer40 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
Beautiful detail of setting
that creates a mood of majesty
You definitely pique my interest as I wonder why God will not appeal to these worshipers
Brooke
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2014
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Beautiful detail of setting
that creates a mood of majesty
You definitely pique my interest as I wonder why God will not appeal to these worshipers
Brooke
Comment Written 28-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2014
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Thank you Brooke. But I don't what you mean by appealing to these worshipers.
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a typo - I meant appear
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Lucifer was called the bearer of light. It is he who will not come.
Comment from James Chaima Phiri
The prelude is wonderfully written. It promises to be a sweet story when it unfolds. One statement made my mind think deeply. Is it the fall and rise or the rise and fall of Lucifer? I hope to read the next chapter.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2014
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The prelude is wonderfully written. It promises to be a sweet story when it unfolds. One statement made my mind think deeply. Is it the fall and rise or the rise and fall of Lucifer? I hope to read the next chapter.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2014
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Thank you James. Lucifer fell from heaven, then rose to be Lord of evil.
Comment from Selina Stambi
Hi Aunty,
This is a very well written prelude. An attention-catcher to be sure.
Great, sweeping phraseology that is perfect for the mood and setting.
Old Milton better watch out! :)
Nicely done, aunty. Will be watching for more. :)
Sonali
rainbow as radi(a)nt as an emerald
mist that served as a (savory) in the nostrils of God... suggest: as a fragrant incense ... savoury refers to something tasty and flavourful to eat
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2014
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Hi Aunty,
This is a very well written prelude. An attention-catcher to be sure.
Great, sweeping phraseology that is perfect for the mood and setting.
Old Milton better watch out! :)
Nicely done, aunty. Will be watching for more. :)
Sonali
rainbow as radi(a)nt as an emerald
mist that served as a (savory) in the nostrils of God... suggest: as a fragrant incense ... savoury refers to something tasty and flavourful to eat
Comment Written 28-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2014
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Thank you, my dear. I made the correction and took the suggestion.
Comment from elchupakabra
I thought this was an excellent prelude. The battle of light and dark is an engaging story that has been told since the beginning of time, so I will be looking forward to how you put your spin on it. So far, the imagery is very strong and paints a great picture while introducing the story. Great work, thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2014
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I thought this was an excellent prelude. The battle of light and dark is an engaging story that has been told since the beginning of time, so I will be looking forward to how you put your spin on it. So far, the imagery is very strong and paints a great picture while introducing the story. Great work, thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2014
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Thank you for this excellent review. I'm so glad you liked the imagery.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, amahra, you did an excellent job writing this prelude to your novel, great imagery given in your words, it provided a good hook for the reader....
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2014
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this is very well written, amahra, you did an excellent job writing this prelude to your novel, great imagery given in your words, it provided a good hook for the reader....
Comment Written 28-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2014
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Thank you sweetwoodjax. I'm so glad you read and liked it.
Comment from ravenblack
You do have some good descriptions in your writing of the prelude. Your writing strikes the balance between seeming both modern and biblical. Just do not name the book Paradise Lost. That is as already taken by John Milton.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2014
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You do have some good descriptions in your writing of the prelude. Your writing strikes the balance between seeming both modern and biblical. Just do not name the book Paradise Lost. That is as already taken by John Milton.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2014
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Thank you so much ravenblack. The book will not be named Paradise Lost. Still playing around with tittle. Perhaps: Paradise Lost/Lord of Darkness, Lost Paradise/Lord of Darkness, or Lord of Darkness. It's not yet set in stone.
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Paradise Lost, the epic poem on this subject by John Milton was copyright in 1667. It sold 1300 copies in 18 months. It'll be interesting to see what you do with a prose version of Satan's revolt against God, amahra. Good luck. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2014
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Paradise Lost, the epic poem on this subject by John Milton was copyright in 1667. It sold 1300 copies in 18 months. It'll be interesting to see what you do with a prose version of Satan's revolt against God, amahra. Good luck. :) Nancy
Comment Written 28-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2014
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Thank you Nancy. I'll do my best.
Comment from robina1978
Excellent art you found to complement your prelude of this book. I liked what you wrote about God, his angels and much more. I enjoyed it.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2014
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Excellent art you found to complement your prelude of this book. I liked what you wrote about God, his angels and much more. I enjoyed it.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2014
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Yes, I love that art work also. I think it would look great on as a book cover. So glad you enjoyed robina.
Comment from JB Lynn
"...like an endless sea of glass, bright as crystal." - Lovely image!
"Circling the throne was a rainbow resembling an emerald." - I get a bit lost with this description. Rainbows contain multiple colors, while emerald is green. I like both ideas, but I think you need to choose one, otherwise the two contradict each other.
Very close to one another, you mention "crowns of gold" and "instruments of gold". I get that they're both gold, but you don't want it to sound redundant. Maybe you could say "And upon their heads were golden crowns." It's a bit tricky, but as writers, don't we all carry a bit of the trickster inside of us? ;)
I think this works wonderfully as a prelude to a larger work of fiction. Keeping it "short and sweet" was a wise move. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2014
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"...like an endless sea of glass, bright as crystal." - Lovely image!
"Circling the throne was a rainbow resembling an emerald." - I get a bit lost with this description. Rainbows contain multiple colors, while emerald is green. I like both ideas, but I think you need to choose one, otherwise the two contradict each other.
Very close to one another, you mention "crowns of gold" and "instruments of gold". I get that they're both gold, but you don't want it to sound redundant. Maybe you could say "And upon their heads were golden crowns." It's a bit tricky, but as writers, don't we all carry a bit of the trickster inside of us? ;)
I think this works wonderfully as a prelude to a larger work of fiction. Keeping it "short and sweet" was a wise move. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2014
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Thank you JB. Yeah, I wondered about the two 'gold' being close. I'll go back and read it aloud and see what I can do. As for the emerald of green. A couple of you are having a problem with that one. This is a direct quote from the Bible. Don't know what it means. I'll look that scripture up in a plain English Bible and see if I can paraphrase so it makes sense to readers. And thanks JB.
Comment from lindalcreel
This was a wonderful short prelude or prologue to show us where the story is headed. I am partial to stories about angels and the great Exodus of Heaven. you have done a brilliant job of showing Lucifer's first act of defiance and now we shall see the subsequent acts which left many of the angels dead, and Lucifer exiled, never again to see the light of Heaven.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2014
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This was a wonderful short prelude or prologue to show us where the story is headed. I am partial to stories about angels and the great Exodus of Heaven. you have done a brilliant job of showing Lucifer's first act of defiance and now we shall see the subsequent acts which left many of the angels dead, and Lucifer exiled, never again to see the light of Heaven.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2014
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Thank you so much for this fine review and so many stars. Angels can't die, but I know what you mean (dead to God). I'm so glad you enjoyed reading it. I'm looking forward to having fun writing it as a fiction.
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I'm sure it will be wonderful. By the way, I have taken your advice and am going through the book now to change some of the magical spells. I won't be re-posting all of the chapters here, it will take too much time. But Some of my books show some simple spells which I can italicize. Thanks again for the suggestion, I know it will improve the story.
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Oh, you're so welcome. Again, I'm honored that you liked my suggestions.
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Thanks so much for offering. With the find and replace button on the computer, it won't take as long as I thought. I've already got a few spells written down, so I can get them into the story without too much trouble.:)
