Merry on the Ferry
Limerick22 total reviews
Comment from closetpoetjester
LMAO Well, that's what you get when a broad injests WAY too much alchohol abroad. She ends up even further bloody abroad. A clever poem but for some reason an alternate fourth line kept jumping into my head once I read the France line. My suggestion would be slightly lewder, so it would have read:
When crossing to Calais by ferry,
A maiden imbibed too much sherry.
When she woke up in France,
(She was minus her pants)
She'd lost her respect and her cherry.
This would have kept in with the theme of the untimely pop of her cherry and loss of self respect...but honestly, this was a winner from go to whoah and you didn't even have to mention she stripped off from the waist down.! LOL
Well done Steve. Congratulations and sorry I don't have a sixer for this little holiday cherry pop.
Cheers P
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2014
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LMAO Well, that's what you get when a broad injests WAY too much alchohol abroad. She ends up even further bloody abroad. A clever poem but for some reason an alternate fourth line kept jumping into my head once I read the France line. My suggestion would be slightly lewder, so it would have read:
When crossing to Calais by ferry,
A maiden imbibed too much sherry.
When she woke up in France,
(She was minus her pants)
She'd lost her respect and her cherry.
This would have kept in with the theme of the untimely pop of her cherry and loss of self respect...but honestly, this was a winner from go to whoah and you didn't even have to mention she stripped off from the waist down.! LOL
Well done Steve. Congratulations and sorry I don't have a sixer for this little holiday cherry pop.
Cheers P
Comment Written 30-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2014
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Tanks, P.
I know exactly what you mean about that line - I originally had something very much like that - I think I got as far as 'Minus something and pants'
two reasons for scuttling that, even though it had promise.
a. For us kiwis pants/France is not a perfect rhyme - probably the same for UK speakers.
b. I couldn't think what to put where I have 'something' - I kept wanting 'knickers' but 'knickers and pants' is silly. Didn't think of the phrasing you have....
Actually, using your line would have given the opportunity to finish with an even greater flourish...
When she woke up in France
She was minus her pants,
Her bra, her respect and her cherry
Tough job writing the perfect limerick - damn things are more difficult than sonnets - everything's got to be connected....
Steve
Comment from Eternal Muse
Oh my God, this is the best Limerick ever! You have all the elements that make it a classic. Yes, they are supposed to be bawdy, and this score high here (lol). I laughed my heart out when reading the last sentence.
You are a real talent, Steve.
Love, Yelena
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2014
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Oh my God, this is the best Limerick ever! You have all the elements that make it a classic. Yes, they are supposed to be bawdy, and this score high here (lol). I laughed my heart out when reading the last sentence.
You are a real talent, Steve.
Love, Yelena
Comment Written 28-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2014
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Thanks, Yelena - Sonnets to Limericks is a bit like going from the sublime to the ridiculous, but I love both forms.
Steve
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I've read lots of limerics, and this is the best ever! "Mary on the ferry" - I am still smiling. Your poetry has a lasting effect on me.
Comment from Green Lake Girl
Congratulations on your well deserved win! A wonderfully typical bawdy, lusty limerick. Very entertaining and a treat to read.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2014
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Congratulations on your well deserved win! A wonderfully typical bawdy, lusty limerick. Very entertaining and a treat to read.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2014
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from rouskin
This really deserves to be a winner. Congratulations!
Outstanding write superbly presented with this complimentary
picture.Thank you for sharing and have a great weekend
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014
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This really deserves to be a winner. Congratulations!
Outstanding write superbly presented with this complimentary
picture.Thank you for sharing and have a great weekend
Comment Written 25-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014
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Thank you for the review and the wishes - yes, it was a winner.
Steve
Comment from Daedalia
This is great! Perfect tempo, pure rhyming, and with a speck of lewdness that makes one think of some of the more famous-or infamous? :) - limericks. Wonderful job!
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014
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This is great! Perfect tempo, pure rhyming, and with a speck of lewdness that makes one think of some of the more famous-or infamous? :) - limericks. Wonderful job!
Comment Written 25-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014
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Thanks for the great review.
Yes, I agree a good limerick has to be a bit naughty.
Steve
Comment from MagKing
At first I wasn't getting you right, thought you are going to crash, until you mentioned her cherry (virginity). Hope am right on that?
You did well; which I believe is contest worthy.
Good luck in the contest.
MagKing
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014
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At first I wasn't getting you right, thought you are going to crash, until you mentioned her cherry (virginity). Hope am right on that?
You did well; which I believe is contest worthy.
Good luck in the contest.
MagKing
Comment Written 25-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014
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Thank you for your review - yes, this managed to sneak a win.
Steve
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Wow!
Congratulations!
Am happy you won
God bless you
MagKing
Comment from rjuselius
"When crossing to Calais by ferry,
A maiden imbibed too much sherry.
When she woke up in France,
You could tell at a glance
She'd lost her respect and her cherry"
hahaha. lmao. this is too funny! i love the whole poem, it's witty and clever.
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014
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"When crossing to Calais by ferry,
A maiden imbibed too much sherry.
When she woke up in France,
You could tell at a glance
She'd lost her respect and her cherry"
hahaha. lmao. this is too funny! i love the whole poem, it's witty and clever.
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
Comment Written 25-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014
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Thanks, Rebekka
Steve
Comment from GWinterwin
You very good poem with a very good picture to match. Your word flow as well and the rhyming is good. And yes I suppose too much Sherri and one could lose her cherry.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014
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You very good poem with a very good picture to match. Your word flow as well and the rhyming is good. And yes I suppose too much Sherri and one could lose her cherry.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014
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Thanks for reviewing.
Steve
Comment from Glasstruth
Love the rhyming. Especially 'cherry with ferry, sherry' is very clever. France always gets the naughty ones. C'est la vie! Great job! Les
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014
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Love the rhyming. Especially 'cherry with ferry, sherry' is very clever. France always gets the naughty ones. C'est la vie! Great job! Les
Comment Written 25-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014
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Thanks, Les. .... and we have a winner!
Steve
Comment from paulah60
Told in perfect limerick style, with spot on a-a-b-b-a rhyming, and the required syllable structure. That you've managed to get this correct and impart a witty little ditty is no mean feat. Well done!
Cheers
Paula
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014
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Told in perfect limerick style, with spot on a-a-b-b-a rhyming, and the required syllable structure. That you've managed to get this correct and impart a witty little ditty is no mean feat. Well done!
Cheers
Paula
Comment Written 25-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014
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Thanks, Paula
Pity no one values these skills highly enough to give me a job!
Steve
