Comment from ruzu27

Excellent

This is a very beautiful poem and I am sure, grandchildren having it read to them are most happy and proud. The last stanza is definitely my favorite. When


Keilah's tucked up in her bed nice and tight
And Mummy has kissed her and turned out the light,
These magical folk will make sure she's alright,
So when Keilah's tucked up ,then it's time for Good Night!

Well done, thank you for sharing.
Ruth

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014

Thanks, Ruth!

Steve

Comment from michaelcahill

Excellent

This has an amazing flow and rhythm to it. It is actually fun to read for an adult. It makes me feel young reading it for some reason and there isn't anyone under fifty anywhere near the house. I think I'll read it to my wife Donna tonight. Could be the start of something. Or the end. Hahaha. Love this. Amazing writing. mikey

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014

Thanks, Mikey.

Rhyme, rhythm and repetition - three R's for a good children's poem....

Steve

Comment from The Death

Excellent

Hi, Steve.

It is a very lovely poem for her.
children love rhymed poems and you have well used mono-rhyming couplets here.
I like the inclusion of everything children generally think of--such as fairies.
It flows nicely. I enjoyed reading it

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014

Thank you, Anupam!

Steve

Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep

Excellent

I can imagine that children, especially little girls, would love having this poem read out to them. The fantasy of fairies and elves is always intriguing to little children. Peter and I thought it was delightful, Steve, and we enjoyed the reading. Giddy

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014

Thanks again, Giddy.

Keilah lives in Melbourne so I haven't read this to her myself yet, but she is old enough to read most of it for herself now....

Steve

Comment from 24chas

Excellent

This was really special, kiwisteveh. I loved the flow of it and it made me happy when I read it. Just a very pleasant piece of writing.

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014

Thank you - yes, it is a happy poem.

Steve

Comment from ravenblack

Excellent

Really, a sweet lullaby filled with alliterative sounds that kids (and adults) like such as : " abolishing,splashing, splashing"; wee woodland, etc. Goblins and elves trying to be good- a nice touch, trying to go against their nature's to please their princess.

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014

Thanks for the kind words.

Steve

Comment from Gungalo

Excellent

When Keilah's tucked up in her bed nice and tight
And Mummy has kissed her and turned out the light,
These magical folk will make sure she's alright,
So when Keilah's tucked up ,then it's time for Good Night!

What a wonderful tribute to your granddaughter Steve. She beautiful. This is a magical fairytale created just for her.

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014

Thank you for the kind words.

Steve

reply by Gungalo on 25-Jan-2014

Smile.

Comment from evrenios

Excellent

What an absolutely charming poem! I love it and I recommend (if I haven't before,) that you gather a group of these poems together and publish. Actually this poem itself (if you found the right illustrator and lengthened it a bit) could make a children's book in itself. It touches on all those elements that children live.
I love the way you begin and end each stanza with the same words. That, coupled with the strong metric meter and strong ending rhyme create a song-like homage to your grandchild.

I am serious about pursuing this as a single child's book. It is better than a lot of what is out there! Wonderful writing. (Sorry I don't have a six to give you!)

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014

Thank you so much for the very warm review and the push to publish.

I have told myself that 2014 will be the year in which I gather my scattered poems and my scattered wits and start submitting them to publishers- the poems, I mean, not the wits!

Thanks again.

Steve

Comment from nancyjam

Excellent

Sweet picture of your grand daughter and what
a delightful bedtime poem for children.
I like the rhythm and the wonderful images
in each stanza. Great rhyming too.
Thanks for sharing. Nancy

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014

Thanks, Nancy - glad you enjoyed.

Steve

Comment from caromel

Excellent

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. The picture just makes it all better. Excellently thought out and perfectly written. What a lucky little girl she is to have Grandpa write a special poem just for her.

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014

Thank you for the kind words.

Steve