The Wind
rhyming quatrains169 total reviews
Comment from RYME4U
This is so smooth and even. It just rolls off the tongue. I am always fascinated by wind sounds... howling, whining, groaning and sometimes even whispering. Sawyer is very observant.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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This is so smooth and even. It just rolls off the tongue. I am always fascinated by wind sounds... howling, whining, groaning and sometimes even whispering. Sawyer is very observant.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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RYME4U, thank you so much :-) He is amazingly observant and makes such clever connections. He also loves stars. One day he got all excited about his breakfast blueberries and started declaring, star, star, star. Miranda corrected him and told him he was eating blueberries, not stars. He then twisted a berry around, pointed at it and declared star again as he pointed to the mark left on the berry where the stem and leaves used to be attached. The mark looks exactly like a star. LOL :-) Brooke
Comment from nomi338
Your thrilling poem just gave me a chill. Many years ago when I was in the US Air Force, I was stationed in North Dakota. I have experienced the cold , biting wind of 35 to 45 mile per hour winds that come unhindered across the flat lands of North Dakota,. It is not pleasant. No matter how much protection you might have on, you quickly discover that it is not enough. Your poem brought those memories back. Thanks a lot.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2014
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Your thrilling poem just gave me a chill. Many years ago when I was in the US Air Force, I was stationed in North Dakota. I have experienced the cold , biting wind of 35 to 45 mile per hour winds that come unhindered across the flat lands of North Dakota,. It is not pleasant. No matter how much protection you might have on, you quickly discover that it is not enough. Your poem brought those memories back. Thanks a lot.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2014
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nomi, thank you so much :-) I have a friend who lives in North Dakota - I try to think of how much worse it is there than here every time I go to complain about the weather. LOL Brooke :-)
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Ah the wind! Living in Nevada I swear the wind blows 400 days a year. The exaggerated count is for the days it Really blows.
Good alliteration and aabb rhyme. Perfect poem as expected. ! Cute picture of Sawyer. Nancy
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Ah the wind! Living in Nevada I swear the wind blows 400 days a year. The exaggerated count is for the days it Really blows.
Good alliteration and aabb rhyme. Perfect poem as expected. ! Cute picture of Sawyer. Nancy
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Thanks so much, Nancy, for the laugh and for the review :-) Brooke
Comment from Pili Pubul
A precious poem written with your usually poetic perfection, love the images of nature and animal life trying to find refuge, but the wind always win. Precious picture of Sawyer loving the wind, brave boy. Pili
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2014
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A precious poem written with your usually poetic perfection, love the images of nature and animal life trying to find refuge, but the wind always win. Precious picture of Sawyer loving the wind, brave boy. Pili
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2014
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Pili, thank you so much :-) Brooke
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You are so welcome. ;-/) pili
Comment from c_lucas
This is very well written with a smooth flow of wordsd, making for a very interesting read. There is good imagery and descriptive scheme.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2014
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This is very well written with a smooth flow of wordsd, making for a very interesting read. There is good imagery and descriptive scheme.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2014
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Charlie, thank you so much :-) Brooke
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You're welcome, Brooke. Charlie
Comment from Marillion
Tis the season for the wind, Brooke, and you do it justice in this piece. My only nits are personal, not technical, but so to earn my $1.12, here they are:
and shiver as its raging(bellow?) grows.
S2, L4-I don't think you need to elide blustery (blust'ry), but I know why you would, especially here. Personal opinion, though.
S3, L2-I'm not a fan of abbreviated words, even for meter's sake, so I would submit that "its cold amongst the vales and hills,"
S3, L4-"e'er" is archaic to me, and another abbreviation (see above for personal distaste ;-), so I would suggest: "will ever best its bitter air".
Once again, all of my suggestions are personal in nature, so they probably have no bearing on your taste, or your choices, which are absolutely fine. Just earning my keep, I suppose.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Tis the season for the wind, Brooke, and you do it justice in this piece. My only nits are personal, not technical, but so to earn my $1.12, here they are:
and shiver as its raging(bellow?) grows.
S2, L4-I don't think you need to elide blustery (blust'ry), but I know why you would, especially here. Personal opinion, though.
S3, L2-I'm not a fan of abbreviated words, even for meter's sake, so I would submit that "its cold amongst the vales and hills,"
S3, L4-"e'er" is archaic to me, and another abbreviation (see above for personal distaste ;-), so I would suggest: "will ever best its bitter air".
Once again, all of my suggestions are personal in nature, so they probably have no bearing on your taste, or your choices, which are absolutely fine. Just earning my keep, I suppose.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Thanks so much, Dave, for your thoughtful feedback. I will reread the poem with your comments in mind :-) Brooke
Comment from Selina Stambi
You made me smile .. again, oh, besotted grandmother!
It was the author notes that did it, this time!
But Wind just puffs its chest and fills
its lungs to blow another round .. what great imagery!
xxx
Sonali
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2014
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You made me smile .. again, oh, besotted grandmother!
It was the author notes that did it, this time!
But Wind just puffs its chest and fills
its lungs to blow another round .. what great imagery!
xxx
Sonali
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2014
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Sonali, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Donya Quijote
Boy am I getting good a basic math in order to review the few poems and stories I review. The holiday means I have some time on my hands. I found this in my inbox and just had to see what it was about and say a few words. This poem on wind arrived on the same breezes that are bringing more winter weather here tonight and tomorrow. Wind and snow will blow and make us all shiver as the temps drop to single digits. Bring it on.! I've got my kitties to huddle with.
Now to your poem. Nice repeating w sound in the first line with wind and whooshing to create a windy sound. You jump right and take us with you on this windy, whimsical ride. Love the use of a personified Wind. I can almost hear him or her laugh as he/she fills up those lungs again and again. Makes me shiver just thinking about it. Nice repeated b sound with boisterous and blust'ry to create more wind. Got to read these aloud for full effect. I also like the additional use of the fox and hare instead of people to show how the wind affects all creatures. Animals get cold too. Picture compliments poem well. What a cutie pie the wee tyke is! I have always like ceiling fans too, not so fascinated by them now but rather more appreciative of their practical and aesthetic value. Another nice write.
By the way, you have captured this linguist's interest. Blust'ry is the way I say the word. I don't say the e unless I'm being really clear or for emphasis. How do you say it? Few people when they talk to me can even guess where I am from from either my accent or my dialect. I'm from Maryland near Frederick. My language background I think confuses as well as the influences from all the places I have lived. Just curious. I do say amongst but dropping the a to read this poem doesn't bother me at all.
Always a pleasure to read you poetry and thanks for allowing me to read and review it.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2014
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Boy am I getting good a basic math in order to review the few poems and stories I review. The holiday means I have some time on my hands. I found this in my inbox and just had to see what it was about and say a few words. This poem on wind arrived on the same breezes that are bringing more winter weather here tonight and tomorrow. Wind and snow will blow and make us all shiver as the temps drop to single digits. Bring it on.! I've got my kitties to huddle with.
Now to your poem. Nice repeating w sound in the first line with wind and whooshing to create a windy sound. You jump right and take us with you on this windy, whimsical ride. Love the use of a personified Wind. I can almost hear him or her laugh as he/she fills up those lungs again and again. Makes me shiver just thinking about it. Nice repeated b sound with boisterous and blust'ry to create more wind. Got to read these aloud for full effect. I also like the additional use of the fox and hare instead of people to show how the wind affects all creatures. Animals get cold too. Picture compliments poem well. What a cutie pie the wee tyke is! I have always like ceiling fans too, not so fascinated by them now but rather more appreciative of their practical and aesthetic value. Another nice write.
By the way, you have captured this linguist's interest. Blust'ry is the way I say the word. I don't say the e unless I'm being really clear or for emphasis. How do you say it? Few people when they talk to me can even guess where I am from from either my accent or my dialect. I'm from Maryland near Frederick. My language background I think confuses as well as the influences from all the places I have lived. Just curious. I do say amongst but dropping the a to read this poem doesn't bother me at all.
Always a pleasure to read you poetry and thanks for allowing me to read and review it.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2014
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Donya, thank you so very much, my friend :-) I don't think all people realize animals get cold - they just shrug it off with the comment that their fur is a natural coat. Truth be told, animals freeze to death in conditions like we are having. Brooke
Comment from Dawn of Tomorrow
Aww that's sweet. Not sure how even that kind of wind would have inspired such a write but if you say so, LOL. Well done with rhyme and meter as always.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2014
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Aww that's sweet. Not sure how even that kind of wind would have inspired such a write but if you say so, LOL. Well done with rhyme and meter as always.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2014
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Jo Lynn, thanks so much :-) Brooke
Comment from SteveY
Another perfectly rhymed poem with excellent rhythm to go along with it's uplifting message. You seem to make the simple things in life your focus. It's wonderful.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2014
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Another perfectly rhymed poem with excellent rhythm to go along with it's uplifting message. You seem to make the simple things in life your focus. It's wonderful.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2014
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Steve, thank you so much :-) Brooke
