Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

This is very interesting Steve. Birds do literally make a leap of faith which amazes me for I am afraid of heights! LOL You used very good imagery of a bird being hatched and finally
experiencing the thrill of flight for which it was destined.. Good luck! Nancy

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Jan-2014

Thanks, Nancy - glad you enjoyed.

Steve

Comment from ExperiencingLiphe

Excellent

Sometimes you gotta just spread your wings and fly. The first I flew I flew a thousand miles. Then I flew back and ended up finding my own place closer to everyone else. It would be hard giving up this freedom I have found. Great job

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Jan-2014

Thank you - glad you enjoyed.

Steve

Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

This is a lovely sonnet for your Faith poem entry. It is a worthy one. Your poem is in good iambic form and flows along beautifully. Good picture and a good message in the poem. Good luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Jan-2014

Dorothy, thanks for the lovely review.

Steve

Comment from Petriesan

Excellent

first of all: good luck in the contest.

I stumbled through this for the most part, having trouble with the line breaks and some of the rhythms.

Later in the poem, the rhymes settled into a comfortable sequence though.

You expressed your feelings quite well

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Jan-2014

Thank you.

Steve

Comment from rjuselius

Exceptional

this is an exquisite piece of poetry! i especially like the concept of "ancient dreams". it makes the feel so far away.
thank you for sharing!

rebekka x

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Jan-2014

Thanks, Rebekka, for the sixer - much appreciated.

Yes, I was quite pleased with 'ancient dreams' as well.

Steve

Comment from Righteous Riter

Excellent

Good use of Sonnet rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with brink/drink. Good simile use with like a wraith. Good description and alliteration. Good positive message filled with encouragement.

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Jan-2014

Thank you - glad you enjoyed.

Steve

Comment from Cumbrianlass

Excellent

Uplifting, to say the least (no pun intended). Strong words, Steve, and clear images. Love the metaphorical use of 'shell', and the implication of new-born wings poised to take flight. The link to inherited drive is brilliant, as is the final launch.

Great work! Best of luck in the contest.

Av

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Jan-2014

Thanks, Av

Not sure if this is the right type of faith for this contest, but I was pleased with the final poem after much wrangling with it.

Steve

Comment from humpwhistle

Exceptional

Very cool take on the faith theme, Steve. We talk about leaps of faith all the time, but this ...
I love the reference to the tyranny of the shell--inspired wording. Then the sequence which eventually brings our hero to the precipice. The neatest part about your version of faith is the exhilaration of the payoff.

Of course, you bring up another notion: What's the difference between instinct and faith?

Well done, Steve.

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Jan-2014

Thanks, Lee.

My first draft didn't really mention the instinctual side of things, but the 'ancient dreams' kind of wormed their way in there...

Steve

reply by humpwhistle on 19-Jan-2014

I don't know about you, Steve, but they are the things that 'worm' themselves into my stories that most delight and amaze me. I expect you feel the same. I love your poem. Peace, Lee

Comment from L.A.Matthies

Excellent

Excellent sonnet, who in their mind has not imagined the thrill of flight? Perhaps only the meek and timid, but when you put forth work like this timidity is left behind ...excellent effort! Wish you luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Jan-2014

Thank you - glad you enjoyed.

Steve

Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

Hi Steve! Your title piqued my interest because I have hd time to recover from the stress of my own empty nest. I miss my kids but proud of the adults they have become. Terrific sonnet form. 14 lines as required. Excellent turn in line eight that employs the word, "but". Terrific use of enjambment throughout. Good closing couplet. Good luck to you in this contest!

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Jan-2014

Thanks, Joy

Of course this is the 'boomerang' generation so your fledgelings may yet fly back - better not use their rooms for other purposes just yet.

Steve