Comment from allborn66

Excellent

This chapter is very entertaining. I like your descriptive narrative. The bits of dialogue sound natural. The reader got to see inside of the characters head for a bit as well.
Barbara

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 09-Jan-2014

Hi Barbara,

If this one appeals, you've only missed four chapters. No need to review if the bucks are gone, just catch up if you'd like.

Hope to see you back,
Gayle

Comment from TervLass

Excellent

Hi Gayle,

This entire chapter very nicely allows us to "settle" into Zach's character. I like its even pace, comfortable, meandering (character) thoughts, and enough description to quietly allow Zack to enter the clinic and establish his presence there. While we know and understand that his life's work has been less than a stellar choice, you are softening his edges and that enables, or draws, readers to his side. Will we continue to root for him? Only time and turning pages will tell.

Nothing for this reader to mentally stub a toe against.
Cheers,
Helen

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 09-Jan-2014

Hi Helen, it's hard to make a guy like this sympathetic, but as we get to know him, we'll love him. I hope.

So glad you're liking this one. It's a ball to write, for sure.

Thanks and hugs
Gayle

Comment from lindalcreel

Excellent

Since Zach is going to be there for three weeks he is bound to run into the other guest at some time or another. While the clinic does all that they can to respect the privacy of their guests, it still seems that someone knows what they do there and that could be a problem down the road. Great read. I'm really enjoying this story.

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 09-Jan-2014

Our guy is going to have a lot of adjusting to do. Remember, he's made a huge, life-altering decision in 24 hours, so he's sure to have some buyer's remorse before this one is over. Now Hali, she's been in recovery for months before she even got to the clinic, so she's adjusted.

I'm figuring Brad and Hali might hit it off, or not. They'll let me know, lol.

Hugs and thanks,
Gayle

reply by lindalcreel on 09-Jan-2014

Looking forward to it. I can imagine there are parts of his life he would miss.

Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

New to writing and Fan Story, there is nothing I can say about your chapter, but, go girl. Your writing is fantastic. You had me from the first line, and never let go. Thanks for the great read.

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 09-Jan-2014

Hi Rick and welcome to Fanstory! Now you're an official Fanstorian. Thanks for the great supportive words and for enjoying my story. Hope to see you again,

Gayle

Comment from wordtester

Good

The story has hook enough to anticipate more. I would love to read this book. How Zack deals with his new identity, if he misses his original self?....it definitely makes me curious about him.
I enjoyed the flow of writing that took me along where Zack was going. I felt like an invisible accomplice trailing with him, peering at his thoughts, and actions.
Keep up the good work. :)

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 Comment Written 08-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 09-Jan-2014

Hi,

Your thoughts are in line with mine. This is a huge adjustment. It gives me lots of avenues to explore.

Thanks for the great comments,
Gayle

Comment from FaithInyang

Excellent

Very very very deep. A lot to read like you stated. A lot to understand in one heap. Did enjoy the ending, the beginning was direct and to the point and I really liked how you added different characters throughout your writing. Perfect!

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 Comment Written 08-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 09-Jan-2014

I Faith,

Thank you for the kind words and review. It's appreciated.

Gayle