Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "Me and Spiggo-Thingo"A collection of my poems
83 total reviews
Comment from jadapenn
Look Stevekiwi, I just had to give this one a six. I laughed so much - even though high BP is a silent killer. You take 1 pill a day. Wow - I take 4. lol. Me not complaining either. I think you have a very crucial point about catching more bugs in those doctor's rooms than anywhere else. That's a big time infectious warzone room. Don't like them at.
Was this intentional?
The[n] shook her head and tapped the glass
I'm still smiling I enjoyed it so much. Best wishes for the contest. luv jada
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Look Stevekiwi, I just had to give this one a six. I laughed so much - even though high BP is a silent killer. You take 1 pill a day. Wow - I take 4. lol. Me not complaining either. I think you have a very crucial point about catching more bugs in those doctor's rooms than anywhere else. That's a big time infectious warzone room. Don't like them at.
Was this intentional?
The[n] shook her head and tapped the glass
I'm still smiling I enjoyed it so much. Best wishes for the contest. luv jada
Comment Written 06-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Thanks, Jada, for the six stars, the fine review and the sharp eye to catch that typo!
Steve
Comment from Jacq77
Awesome! And worth every star. I absolutely loved this delightful and humorous poem and was sorry when it ended. Extremely clever use of rhyme and words to tell your story, and the art work you chose to go with it was excellent. As for cricket? Well, I won't gloat! :-)
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Awesome! And worth every star. I absolutely loved this delightful and humorous poem and was sorry when it ended. Extremely clever use of rhyme and words to tell your story, and the art work you chose to go with it was excellent. As for cricket? Well, I won't gloat! :-)
Comment Written 06-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Thanks so much for the enthusiastic review and the six lovely stars - much appreciated.
As for the Ashes, all I can say is that the Poms were truly woeful - you might find things a bit different when the South Africans arrive. Kiwis are still basking in a test series win over the West Indies.
Steve
Comment from janalma
This is great. Made me chuckle all the way thru. Oh, the horrors in the docs office. I'm kind of like you. I seldom go to the doctor, and have actually had the one I use sometimes, call me up and tell me it was about time I did. My husband got a kick out of that.
I thought the first verse was funny, a subtle way to say she was on you with a vengeance. Lol. Also liked all those terrible maladies mentioned-that you might have been infected with. Got a warm memory from your use of the word 'conniptions' as it's a word my mom often used. Almost never heard anymore, I think. Good poem that I enjoyed a lot.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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This is great. Made me chuckle all the way thru. Oh, the horrors in the docs office. I'm kind of like you. I seldom go to the doctor, and have actually had the one I use sometimes, call me up and tell me it was about time I did. My husband got a kick out of that.
I thought the first verse was funny, a subtle way to say she was on you with a vengeance. Lol. Also liked all those terrible maladies mentioned-that you might have been infected with. Got a warm memory from your use of the word 'conniptions' as it's a word my mom often used. Almost never heard anymore, I think. Good poem that I enjoyed a lot.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Thanks for the lovely review. Yes, I insert a sneaky and cheeky reference to my wife in occasionally and have even written a couple of poems where she is referred to as SWMBO (She Who Must Be Obeyed)
And you are right, conniptions is a lovely word and I will do my best to keep its use alive.
Steve
Comment from emrpoems
Certainly true about those doctors' offices. You mingle with numerous diseases. And reading the magazines and newspapers is also dangerous since they are infected by the sick.
Good quatrains with rhyming couplets. Good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Certainly true about those doctors' offices. You mingle with numerous diseases. And reading the magazines and newspapers is also dangerous since they are infected by the sick.
Good quatrains with rhyming couplets. Good luck in the contest
Comment Written 05-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Oh, you have an appreciative audience here with this one, Steve. Pete suffers with white coat syndrome... only has to step inside the door and zoom it's up high. Still needs to take a pill every day for it though.
Awesome Aussies... five nil for the Ashes. Lucky you're not English... if you're American you've never heard of it, anyway. Best to stay in New Zealand, at least they dominate in rugby. Giddy
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Oh, you have an appreciative audience here with this one, Steve. Pete suffers with white coat syndrome... only has to step inside the door and zoom it's up high. Still needs to take a pill every day for it though.
Awesome Aussies... five nil for the Ashes. Lucky you're not English... if you're American you've never heard of it, anyway. Best to stay in New Zealand, at least they dominate in rugby. Giddy
Comment Written 05-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Thanks, Giddy - I guess you two have seen more than enough of the inside of doctors' rooms.
As for the cricket, I think your team might get a rude shock when the South Africans arrive - they won't roll over like the Poms have done.
Steve
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mmm...Maybe. :)
Comment from rhymelord
Oh, Lordy me, Steve. Another absolute cracker. Your wit and (may I say, sagacity in matters medical), is bloody marvellous and the execution flawless in metre and rhyme (including those internal rhymes). I know you said your "errors" were "prob'ly" intentional, but one I noticed could well be a typo in that it seems to throw the cadence off:
"I'm sure she wan't nagging," "wasn't" maybe?
Anyway, damn you, this deserves a six.
Best regards
Reg
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Oh, Lordy me, Steve. Another absolute cracker. Your wit and (may I say, sagacity in matters medical), is bloody marvellous and the execution flawless in metre and rhyme (including those internal rhymes). I know you said your "errors" were "prob'ly" intentional, but one I noticed could well be a typo in that it seems to throw the cadence off:
"I'm sure she wan't nagging," "wasn't" maybe?
Anyway, damn you, this deserves a six.
Best regards
Reg
Comment Written 05-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Reg, thanks for the high praise and the keen eye (an the six stars of course).
My only sagacity probably lies in choosing the right parents to ensure good genes.....
Steve
Comment from TonyD
Of course there is exaggeration and that is what contributed to the poem being so humorous. I agree that the doctor's office is the worse place to go for a checkup.
Well written.
TonyD
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Of course there is exaggeration and that is what contributed to the poem being so humorous. I agree that the doctor's office is the worse place to go for a checkup.
Well written.
TonyD
Comment Written 05-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Thanks for the kind words, Tony.
Steve
Comment from paulah60
Going to the doctor is an ugly labyrinthine journey into the underworld! Through terrorist regimes ('Once more she listened with intent and what she heard, it shocked 'er.
"Wait here," she said. "Don't move an inch, I'll run and fetch the doctor."'); back through a time tunnel to previous incarnations (scurvy, pestilence, cholera and diphtheria); into the centre of a drug cartel (I have a pill will cure your ills'); into the middle of a test match ('If all our batsmen scored like you, we'd show those Aussies fun!') although I s'pose this would be a GOOD thing for a bloke (and notwithstanding my aversion to this game that's akin to watching paint dry, Aussies rule!).
From beginning to end, this is an engaging fun piece with some great lines. My fave: 'Out there's a bloke whose gut's as big as Mikey's Monster Marrow.
I don't know how he fetched it here unless he used a barrow."' (great imagery).
Cheers
Paula
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Going to the doctor is an ugly labyrinthine journey into the underworld! Through terrorist regimes ('Once more she listened with intent and what she heard, it shocked 'er.
"Wait here," she said. "Don't move an inch, I'll run and fetch the doctor."'); back through a time tunnel to previous incarnations (scurvy, pestilence, cholera and diphtheria); into the centre of a drug cartel (I have a pill will cure your ills'); into the middle of a test match ('If all our batsmen scored like you, we'd show those Aussies fun!') although I s'pose this would be a GOOD thing for a bloke (and notwithstanding my aversion to this game that's akin to watching paint dry, Aussies rule!).
From beginning to end, this is an engaging fun piece with some great lines. My fave: 'Out there's a bloke whose gut's as big as Mikey's Monster Marrow.
I don't know how he fetched it here unless he used a barrow."' (great imagery).
Cheers
Paula
Comment Written 05-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Thanks, Paula - glad you enjoyed.
good gracious, an Aussie who doesn't like Cricket - even Tony Abbott pretends to enjoy it!
Steve
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Steve. Happy Holidays, belated. Haven't heard from you in a while? I love the tongue-in-cheek feel of this rather long story in poetry. It is fun, but not necessarily funny.
"I'm off back home to take a bath in water disinfected
To kill the germs and bugs and worms that I have here collected.
I'll take your pill, I swear I will, and thanks for your assistance,
But from henceforth both south and north, I'm going to keep my distance!"
Brilliant writing. Good luck in the contest. Bob
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Hi, Steve. Happy Holidays, belated. Haven't heard from you in a while? I love the tongue-in-cheek feel of this rather long story in poetry. It is fun, but not necessarily funny.
"I'm off back home to take a bath in water disinfected
To kill the germs and bugs and worms that I have here collected.
I'll take your pill, I swear I will, and thanks for your assistance,
But from henceforth both south and north, I'm going to keep my distance!"
Brilliant writing. Good luck in the contest. Bob
Comment Written 05-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Thanks, Bob - glad you enjoyed.
I like to give these contests a good shot, but I don't know if I've ever seen a humorous piece like this win one so fingers well and truly crossed.
Steve
Comment from juliaSjames
Oh, didn't you have fun writing this, Steve. It's bad enough going to the clinic, but now I'll have to wear protective clothing and breathe my own air.
Glad the pill is working.
Best of luck in the contest with this deliciously funny entry. Loved the cricket reference.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Oh, didn't you have fun writing this, Steve. It's bad enough going to the clinic, but now I'll have to wear protective clothing and breathe my own air.
Glad the pill is working.
Best of luck in the contest with this deliciously funny entry. Loved the cricket reference.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Thanks, Julia
Cricket, huh - we have just beaten WI at home in the test series although they came back with a strong win last night to tie the ODI series....
Steve
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(sigh) the Windies are a shadow of their former selves!
