Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

Money talks, "B.S." walks. The first chapter of yours I have read with a dog or horse in it. (LOL) This is very well written with a smooth flow of words.

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014

Oh, Charlie, they're coming. Thanks so much for the read, review and comments. Happy New Year, my friend, and thanks,
Gayle

reply by c_lucas on 04-Jan-2014

You're welcome, Gayle. Charlie

Comment from Ted T

Excellent

Hi Gayle :)

You're off to a great start with this one. Perfect setting and set up. The theme is locked in and the springs of tension and conflict have been cocked with a hair trigger ready to fire at any moment.

One nit:

She gave a murmur of assent and [nodded.]

Mark Howard stepped forward, [nodded] to Mr. Ashman,

That's two "nodded" verbs too close together.

I will be with you on this novel through to the end. I hope you'll do the same with "Return of Evil" [Legs sequel] when I start posting.

Ted

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014

Count on it my friend. You couldn't make me not read. Can't wait. And yes, too much nodding going on there. Will fix!

Happy New Year and all the best!

Hugs,
Gayle

reply by Ted T on 04-Jan-2014

Glad you're back in there with a new novel, it starts as a winner from the opening narrative.

Actually, it's virtually impossible not to repeat words in a full length book. Sometimes, for effect, repetition is necessary to make a point or carry an emotion of the moment. We just have to be selective and aware. Most of us know this, but some newbies haven't caught on yet.

BTW: Glad Barbara Wilkey decided on G&J. I'm going to put her cover and a blurb on my Website soon.

Ted

Comment from lludlow

Excellent

I didn't think it was slow at all. You do a good job of describing everything. Though I usually want something to happen sooner, I'm interested to see what's going to happen.
Just two minor things: it seems a place like this would already have espresso. This is a luxury place, no? Also, I'm hoping we're going to find out why the chef won't cook goat. If we're not, we don't need to know about it.
Looking forward to more!

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014

Goat smells, lol! Actually, that is a bit of author intrusion. My friend cooks goat, so I'm teasing. Well, those machines cost a fortune and I'm not sure it'd be something to expect. But let me give it some thought.

Much appreciate hearing your comments and making a new friend!

Best,
Gayle

Comment from Sylvia Page

Excellent

Hi Gayle nice to see you again and with a brand new book chapter too. I like your style of writing, bringing in all the players and weaving it all together so smoothly. Good flow. Kept my interest and makes me want to read what follows.
Wishing you the best of 2014,
Blessings,
Sylvia

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014

Hi Sylvia, Happy New Year to you, too.

We're going to take off here pretty soon. You know me - pan and scan - but I hate to do backstory, so this just seems easier.

Thank you so much for the kind comments and review.

Hugs,
Gayle

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

Heavy bougainvillea wove its way through the wires, (They are beautiful, I have some around our back fence.

I am disappointed that you haven't introduced the dog, yet!!! LOL

I enjoyed reading this and can't wait for the rest.

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014

Hey Barbara! Happy New Year.

Amy and Tony are waiting in the wings, and I think they have a new friend we're going to love.

Thanks so much for the great comments and review!

Hugs,
Gayle

Comment from lindalcreel

Excellent

There must be something very special about this woman and her entourage. They seem easy enough to accommodate their requests, but I'm sure there is a juicy story hiding under that veil. Looking forward to the next chapter. This was a great beginning. Thanks so much for sharing.

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014

Hey Linda, Happy New Year.

Thanks so much for the great review. I'll put out another chapter today and hopefully it will answer some questions, and give you more as well.

Big thanks and hugs,
Gayle

reply by lindalcreel on 04-Jan-2014

Happy New Year, Gayle

Comment from Carrie Carson

Excellent

Good job with this, although you're right...it is a bit sluggish. Maybe weaving character and setting together?

No spag caught my eye, good form.

Ten acres in Beverly Hills, I can't even imagine, though some of the estates are grand indeed. :) Carrie

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014

Hi Carrie,

A new friend! Thank you for stopping by for a read. Your comments are much appreciated. I'm a novelist who's not much into backstory. I'd rather just get it out there, make it as intriguing as possible and hope for the best. Did I leave you with just enough lure to hope to see you again?

And the estates in BH and surrounding Hills are absolutely incredible, unbelievable. If you ever get the chance, it makes for a great drive.

Hope to see you again. another chapter out in about a while. Much more intriguing.

Thanks, Gayle

Comment from queenv

Excellent

You have me wanting to read more from the beginning. The story has an air of mystery to it. The plastic surgeons are waiting. I am eagerly looking forward to reading more.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014

Well thank you so much for the great comments. Another chapter out this afternoon, so you won't have long to wait!

Thanks,
Gayle