Haibun (Patchwork)
The yin and yang of life's inconsistencies.39 total reviews
Comment from goompa
Beautifully written piece about a most dificult topic. I watched the same downward spiral in my own Mom; it's a terrible disease that takes away the essence of a person
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2013
Beautifully written piece about a most dificult topic. I watched the same downward spiral in my own Mom; it's a terrible disease that takes away the essence of a person
Comment Written 28-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2013
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Thank you for the gracious review. there are many out there who share that experience.
Comment from Jean Lutz
Oh my. I saw myself in so many lines of this magnificent writing. I've been downsizing my possessions and life pieces for some time now. Not wanting to leave the labor for someone else. It has been a trip, but I am almost finished -- just maybe with some life left over.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2013
Oh my. I saw myself in so many lines of this magnificent writing. I've been downsizing my possessions and life pieces for some time now. Not wanting to leave the labor for someone else. It has been a trip, but I am almost finished -- just maybe with some life left over.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2013
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I have been thinking the same thing for the same reason. I should begin the process. Thanks for the gracious review.
Comment from Louise Michelle
I love the pace of the third stanza. It really illustrates all the physical memories and even clutter that needs to be sorted. Pefect picture for a well penned poem. Hugs, Lou
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2013
I love the pace of the third stanza. It really illustrates all the physical memories and even clutter that needs to be sorted. Pefect picture for a well penned poem. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 28-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2013
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Thank you for the gracious review.
Comment from misscookie
The artwork you choose to go with your poem is a perfect match
not only are your words so sweet. they truly touched my hear, just last week I asked Madison mother before she gives out grown clothes away save some of your special things so I can make her a patch quit.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2013
The artwork you choose to go with your poem is a perfect match
not only are your words so sweet. they truly touched my hear, just last week I asked Madison mother before she gives out grown clothes away save some of your special things so I can make her a patch quit.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2013
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Thank you for reviewing. Happy New Year.
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My pleasure the same to you and yours.
Comment from GWHARGIS
Incredible. This was a sad and yet honestly uplifting haibun. The hiakus were excellent and the prose nearly brought me to tears. I could picture a middle aged woman sitting alone in an attic, trying to sort out what to throw away and what to save, only to be pushed and pulled by a full spectrum of emotions as the woman who was her mother was revealed. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2013
Incredible. This was a sad and yet honestly uplifting haibun. The hiakus were excellent and the prose nearly brought me to tears. I could picture a middle aged woman sitting alone in an attic, trying to sort out what to throw away and what to save, only to be pushed and pulled by a full spectrum of emotions as the woman who was her mother was revealed. Nicely done.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2013
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Thank you for the awesome review and the bonus star. The poem came to me as I was sifting through some of my own journals.
Comment from Ben Colder
I think you named this work correctly. I enjoyed reading and remembering how going through someone's personal memories written on paper first brought my attention to much you have mentioned. Well done poet. Blessings
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2013
I think you named this work correctly. I enjoyed reading and remembering how going through someone's personal memories written on paper first brought my attention to much you have mentioned. Well done poet. Blessings
Comment Written 28-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2013
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thanks you for the kind review.
Comment from Righteous Riter
Good complimentary photo that catches my eye. The syllable counts in both 5-7-5's are correct. Good smile use with like ashes waiting. Good alliteration with bow/beginnings. I think this piece blends together well making a great Haibun. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2013
Good complimentary photo that catches my eye. The syllable counts in both 5-7-5's are correct. Good smile use with like ashes waiting. Good alliteration with bow/beginnings. I think this piece blends together well making a great Haibun. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2013
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Thank you for the detailed review. Appreciate it.
Comment from c_lucas
As we aged, life presents us with more problems. This is very well written with an interesting flow of words, making for a very thoughtful read.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2013
As we aged, life presents us with more problems. This is very well written with an interesting flow of words, making for a very thoughtful read.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2013
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We certainly spend a lot more time in our hearts and heads. Thanks for reviewing.
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Yiu're welcome, Dallas. Charlie
Comment from adewpearl
I just love the description of the journals and the events they chronicle
tear-stained gray - I added the hyphen
pain interspersed with pages of hope - glorious use of consonance
wonderful alliteration in descent into dementia
Brooke
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2013
I just love the description of the journals and the events they chronicle
tear-stained gray - I added the hyphen
pain interspersed with pages of hope - glorious use of consonance
wonderful alliteration in descent into dementia
Brooke
Comment Written 28-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2013
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Thanks for reviewing, Brooke, and also for drawing attention to the need for a hyphen.Have a great weekend.
Comment from Smoothiecool
great picture
your prose write of a Mother's journal
your words allow the reader to see and feel the life's of a mother's journal entries in a in hidden places
the hurts, guilt, laughter and gratitude but only the one journal precisely dates tied in silk under the bed
flows easy read
cheers SC
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2013
great picture
your prose write of a Mother's journal
your words allow the reader to see and feel the life's of a mother's journal entries in a in hidden places
the hurts, guilt, laughter and gratitude but only the one journal precisely dates tied in silk under the bed
flows easy read
cheers SC
Comment Written 28-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2013
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Thank you for reviewing. Glad you could feel it.
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welcome