Pale Sisters
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Discoveries"Science fiction.
13 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Hi Bill, That queen Deana is something else. What a grisly scene you play out in the prison. Very well written and you made me recoil. And now she's set to get out and commit more heinous acts. I'm enjoying this story. All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
  |
Hi Bill, That queen Deana is something else. What a grisly scene you play out in the prison. Very well written and you made me recoil. And now she's set to get out and commit more heinous acts. I'm enjoying this story. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
-
Thank you, Ulla, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from JDRBAR
This is a very interesting story, although I'm still not completely knowledgeable of the Magfas or its purpose. It's well told and keeps a reader's interest throughout.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
|
This is a very interesting story, although I'm still not completely knowledgeable of the Magfas or its purpose. It's well told and keeps a reader's interest throughout.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
-
Thank you, JDRBAR, for the kind review. My purpose was to gather a following and then bring up the origin of these two weird outside forces.
-
AHA!
Comment from nomi338
Ooh, rough trade. Wouldn't it be funny if Queen Deana met with a force greater than herself and was dealt with in a manner she had never faced before. I'm just saying. All bullies like this almost always finally meet up with someone greater who is not having it and wind up dealing a blow that is more than the unwitting bully can handle.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2017
|
Ooh, rough trade. Wouldn't it be funny if Queen Deana met with a force greater than herself and was dealt with in a manner she had never faced before. I'm just saying. All bullies like this almost always finally meet up with someone greater who is not having it and wind up dealing a blow that is more than the unwitting bully can handle.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2017
-
Deana won't make it out of that prison if I have anything to say about it.
Comment from apky
This is one "rampage" I'm looking forward to:
"Then this is what will happen," Billy went on, still pointing the revolver. "You'll be taken out through the laundry to the truck in the south court. You will break free of the escort and go on a rampage through the surrounding area. You'll eventually surrender, but not until after you've killed Diana Camp."
"Are you going to paint a sign on this bone?" she asked with a dead-eye stare. "Or do I just break all the honeys in half 'til I pick a winner."
"I'll be standing beside her so you'll know who she is." replied Billy.
Your story has become sort of an addiction of mine.
Cheers,
Apky
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2017
 |
This is one "rampage" I'm looking forward to:
"Then this is what will happen," Billy went on, still pointing the revolver. "You'll be taken out through the laundry to the truck in the south court. You will break free of the escort and go on a rampage through the surrounding area. You'll eventually surrender, but not until after you've killed Diana Camp."
"Are you going to paint a sign on this bone?" she asked with a dead-eye stare. "Or do I just break all the honeys in half 'til I pick a winner."
"I'll be standing beside her so you'll know who she is." replied Billy.
Your story has become sort of an addiction of mine.
Cheers,
Apky
Comment Written 23-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2017
-
Thanks, apky, for following this. Thanks for the cool stars as well. Bill
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Dang Bill, I think I'm going to have to go back and take this one is from the first to get the whole story. Each portion I've read is good if not a little stomach turning. I don't relate to this kind of thing personally, I'm more of a romantic at heart, but I love words and writers that know how to swing them around till they land in a wonderful tale! Kudos mate! xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2017
|
Dang Bill, I think I'm going to have to go back and take this one is from the first to get the whole story. Each portion I've read is good if not a little stomach turning. I don't relate to this kind of thing personally, I'm more of a romantic at heart, but I love words and writers that know how to swing them around till they land in a wonderful tale! Kudos mate! xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 23-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2017
-
Thank you, Kiwi, for the upbeat review. The story is convoluted, but, when read all at once, it reads pretty fast.
Comment from Ricky1024
I read an earlier one of these Bill.
Nicely penned again.
Great theme as well as imagery.
No grammar issues as it flows well.
"Coloric changing font...
A little distracting..
Otherwise the Adjective and Objective Contents move it along nicely.
Thanks,
Ricky1024.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2017
|
I read an earlier one of these Bill.
Nicely penned again.
Great theme as well as imagery.
No grammar issues as it flows well.
"Coloric changing font...
A little distracting..
Otherwise the Adjective and Objective Contents move it along nicely.
Thanks,
Ricky1024.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2017
-
Thanks, Ricky
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Good job, Bill. I've read so much of the humor that you have written, it's good to see how versatile you can be. You excel in anything you write. I would hate to be pigeonholed into one style. I see you fell the same
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2017
|
Good job, Bill. I've read so much of the humor that you have written, it's good to see how versatile you can be. You excel in anything you write. I would hate to be pigeonholed into one style. I see you fell the same
Comment Written 22-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2017
-
Thank you, Thomas, for the positive review. Bill
Comment from Charmisa Parker
Seriously, just by reading this story sends the message how some humans are just plain wicked. It really makes me wonder why people act the way they do without feeling remorse. Thanks again for the story. Five stars!
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2017
|
Seriously, just by reading this story sends the message how some humans are just plain wicked. It really makes me wonder why people act the way they do without feeling remorse. Thanks again for the story. Five stars!
Comment Written 21-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2017
-
I really wanted everyone to be without remorse for Queen Deana as she will soon get hers.
-
Ohh...can't wait to see that. Lol
Comment from lindalcreel
Wow this Deana is a real sick monster who really enjoys her job. I guess the warden can't put her down because he still needs her. How convenient that he asked Vincent to come back the next day. Hopefully he'll arrive early. If I were him, I wouldn't buy what dear old dad is saying either. Thanks for sharing, another great chapter.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2013
|
Wow this Deana is a real sick monster who really enjoys her job. I guess the warden can't put her down because he still needs her. How convenient that he asked Vincent to come back the next day. Hopefully he'll arrive early. If I were him, I wouldn't buy what dear old dad is saying either. Thanks for sharing, another great chapter.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2013
-
Thank you, Linda, for reviewing this.
-
So welcome:)
Comment from Giovannius
I understand that this is the 25th chapter of this work, but I'm not sure exactly what type of demographic Mr. Schott is trying to cater to. I wouldn't categorize "Pale Sisters" as work of General Science Fiction, but more as a graphic horror story. I'm a huge fan of the science fiction genre, and this story doesn't read as one. I was a Detective Lieutenant in the 44 Precinct in Bronx, NY, and regularly visited a wide variety of correctional facilities, and several psychological hospitals. The "Queen Deana" would've been transferred to a Hospital for the Criminally Insane from the get-go.
The amount of gore in this chapter, as well as is obvious in the back-story makes this a rather disturbingly dark piece. I would likelier expect it to be sold in a small bookstore catering to the followers of occult than at a mainstream bookstore like Barnes and Noble.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2013
 |
I understand that this is the 25th chapter of this work, but I'm not sure exactly what type of demographic Mr. Schott is trying to cater to. I wouldn't categorize "Pale Sisters" as work of General Science Fiction, but more as a graphic horror story. I'm a huge fan of the science fiction genre, and this story doesn't read as one. I was a Detective Lieutenant in the 44 Precinct in Bronx, NY, and regularly visited a wide variety of correctional facilities, and several psychological hospitals. The "Queen Deana" would've been transferred to a Hospital for the Criminally Insane from the get-go.
The amount of gore in this chapter, as well as is obvious in the back-story makes this a rather disturbingly dark piece. I would likelier expect it to be sold in a small bookstore catering to the followers of occult than at a mainstream bookstore like Barnes and Noble.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2013
-
Thanks for reviewing.
