The Never Starting Story
Viewing comments for Chapter 47 "Pets, Part two"A collection of things that fit nowhere else.
17 total reviews
Comment from Hadria
I'm still laughing! I wish I could come up with a solution to the flea attack on poor Pilgrim, I've had dogs all my life(I'm now 71)and I've never heard of anything like that.
You could tidy this one up a little bit, reorganise a few sentences in the middle and check for typos here and there (I hate proofreading my own stuff, but I'm a divil for doing other peoples'!) On the whole, I really think the lack of formatting is part of the charm of how you write - it must be the Irish in you........ we're a very unformatted race! Hadria
PS I've just given you my last 6 stars for this week, so it'll have to be 5 for this one.
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2013
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I'm still laughing! I wish I could come up with a solution to the flea attack on poor Pilgrim, I've had dogs all my life(I'm now 71)and I've never heard of anything like that.
You could tidy this one up a little bit, reorganise a few sentences in the middle and check for typos here and there (I hate proofreading my own stuff, but I'm a divil for doing other peoples'!) On the whole, I really think the lack of formatting is part of the charm of how you write - it must be the Irish in you........ we're a very unformatted race! Hadria
PS I've just given you my last 6 stars for this week, so it'll have to be 5 for this one.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2013
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Yep, unformatted is about the best description I can think of for myself. hahaha. I am getting better with my writing in general but, I do lapse back into old habits once in a while. I do appreciate you pointing it out. I try to edit and keep improving. Lots of good advice here. I am getting better I think, slowly but surely. mikey
Comment from Alena Smith
these 2 sentences, right next to each other, sound a bit repetitive, unless you intended it to be this way:
"it would be a long wait in the corner until I let him know that it would be okay to let you pass.
He would just corner a stranger until I said it would be okay to let him by."
and, maybe change from "if he had pulled of the task." to "pulled off the task"
I am so proud of you that you finally made such a great commitment. atta boy!!
I raised puppies before, so I can relate to Donna's thrill about it. I also have my lab still, who would do the same thing. if you come near the house, she will bark, like she is about to rip your head off. but then when I am there, she will lick you to death.
I loved your story and kept reading it all the way to see what happened.
thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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these 2 sentences, right next to each other, sound a bit repetitive, unless you intended it to be this way:
"it would be a long wait in the corner until I let him know that it would be okay to let you pass.
He would just corner a stranger until I said it would be okay to let him by."
and, maybe change from "if he had pulled of the task." to "pulled off the task"
I am so proud of you that you finally made such a great commitment. atta boy!!
I raised puppies before, so I can relate to Donna's thrill about it. I also have my lab still, who would do the same thing. if you come near the house, she will bark, like she is about to rip your head off. but then when I am there, she will lick you to death.
I loved your story and kept reading it all the way to see what happened.
thank you for sharing
Comment Written 13-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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Yes, good point there. I will take a look at that and rework it a bit. The second point also, I agree. Thank you. So glad you are enjoying. I can't believe this ended up being four parts. I am leaving a lot out and condensing too. I laugh reading it all at once. Crazy animal people. mikey
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Whatever you are leaving out, you should definitely put it in. It will make the story that much more interesting. I want to know.
Great series
Comment from Millibrad
This is such a wonderful story. I thoroughly enjoyed reading about your dogs and you.
Paragraph one, third sentence: I think you should change "We" to Donna and I, for clarity since the paragraph begins with Sheba.
I imagine a bit of relief when Donna realizes your proposal is about a trip to the pound and not to the altar.
I like how your paragraphs lead effortlessly each into the next. Great composition here. Were it not for some awkward sentence structure and errors in punctuation, I'd give this a six.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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This is such a wonderful story. I thoroughly enjoyed reading about your dogs and you.
Paragraph one, third sentence: I think you should change "We" to Donna and I, for clarity since the paragraph begins with Sheba.
I imagine a bit of relief when Donna realizes your proposal is about a trip to the pound and not to the altar.
I like how your paragraphs lead effortlessly each into the next. Great composition here. Were it not for some awkward sentence structure and errors in punctuation, I'd give this a six.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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Appreciate the tips. I'm slowly improving and paying close attention to the tips and advice I am receiving. Punctuation is a huge problem for me. I have been studying some of the articles written by some authors here on writing that have helped a lot. Spitfire writes great articles on writing. In fact chapter four should show improvement (I hope) as I just read one of her articles. Appreciate the encouragement and help. Glad you are enjoying the story. Thank you much, mikey
Comment from Spitfire
I love the humor in this plus the mystery. You do, however, need to work on sentence variety. A lot of"I's" in here, mikey. Also, you might brush up on comma rules. Great names for dogs-Pilgrim, Houdini, Magnan, Yoko.
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reply by the author on 12-Dec-2013
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I love the humor in this plus the mystery. You do, however, need to work on sentence variety. A lot of"I's" in here, mikey. Also, you might brush up on comma rules. Great names for dogs-Pilgrim, Houdini, Magnan, Yoko.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2013
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You didn't post your "I" guide fast enough. hahaha. Check part four. Some awkward sentences but not an "I" anywhere! I need the punctuation class for sure. This is after three months of improvement. Commas drive me crazy. I plan to re-write everything when it is finished. Getting better thought. mikey
Comment from ravenblack
Yoko ran away with an English Bulldog named John (sorry, I could not resist). And don't feel bad about Magnum. My dog Auggie , all 112 pounds of him, not only greeted everyone by sticking his nose in their crotch, but humped just about anything that moved. Happy to see part three is on the way.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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Yoko ran away with an English Bulldog named John (sorry, I could not resist). And don't feel bad about Magnum. My dog Auggie , all 112 pounds of him, not only greeted everyone by sticking his nose in their crotch, but humped just about anything that moved. Happy to see part three is on the way.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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I bet I am the only one on earth that named their dog after Yoko Ono. Yep, three and four. I had to leave a lot our to keep it to four parts. Animal crazy!
Comment from Sankey
Awww I am "pet-ified" Not "petRified" get it? Good story looking forward to the next part after I order some more printer ink for us both or just for me or whatever. Sti8ll need to get you some bird photos and try and work out how to share the old super 8 converted to DVD of some movies o my Dad at Grawin and his dog and birds.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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Awww I am "pet-ified" Not "petRified" get it? Good story looking forward to the next part after I order some more printer ink for us both or just for me or whatever. Sti8ll need to get you some bird photos and try and work out how to share the old super 8 converted to DVD of some movies o my Dad at Grawin and his dog and birds.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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I know that can be done. Not very technical myself. I think the local camera shop could probably send you in the right direction. I have some old home movies I would like to convert too.
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The old SUper 8 i8s already on DVD just need to figure out how to get it on Youtube.
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The funny thing is that the best person to ask is a youngster. They know that stuff like the back of their hand. Most fifteen year olds know it backwards and forwards. Dean Kuch on this site is the master of all of that stuff here. mikey
Comment from Rosalyne
Hi Mikey,
You and Donna are true animal lovers. How lucky for your pets to have such a wonderful home. Dog theft sadly is not that uncommon. My childhood dog, Phoebe, a Cocker Spaniel was stolen and returned two weeks later. She was eleven at the time and still looked like a puppy. To me this is like kidnapping a family member, such a disposable act to do. I'm so sorry to read about what happened to your other dog, Pilgrim. Pets are much more than commodities, but as you said, some people don't see this. Pets are part of our families who share with us an unconditional affection and love.
Bye
Rosalyne :)
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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Hi Mikey,
You and Donna are true animal lovers. How lucky for your pets to have such a wonderful home. Dog theft sadly is not that uncommon. My childhood dog, Phoebe, a Cocker Spaniel was stolen and returned two weeks later. She was eleven at the time and still looked like a puppy. To me this is like kidnapping a family member, such a disposable act to do. I'm so sorry to read about what happened to your other dog, Pilgrim. Pets are much more than commodities, but as you said, some people don't see this. Pets are part of our families who share with us an unconditional affection and love.
Bye
Rosalyne :)
Comment Written 12-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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In many ways it is worse to steal a pet. They are so innocent and completely trusting of us. It is such a betrayal of their essence for anyone to do anything wrong to them. I so appreciate your wonderful review and insights. Thank you very much, mikey
Comment from Darkhorse555
a dog saw me and squatted like a girl ha ha my dog i have at the moment is male thats how he goes to the wee wee excellent piece really enjoy reading dear friend
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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a dog saw me and squatted like a girl ha ha my dog i have at the moment is male thats how he goes to the wee wee excellent piece really enjoy reading dear friend
Comment Written 12-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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Yep. Embarrassing amongst the poker buddies!! Lift that leg up boy, the other men are watching!! mikey
Comment from nelliesellie
YOU HAD A PACK OF DOGS. Each dog has its own personality. We had one dog who peed with both legs up in the air. We also always had more than one dog. Dogs get confused if they are the only kind of their species. Great work.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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YOU HAD A PACK OF DOGS. Each dog has its own personality. We had one dog who peed with both legs up in the air. We also always had more than one dog. Dogs get confused if they are the only kind of their species. Great work.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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Our dog and cat were raised together and get along beautifully. But, they don't like other dogs and cats. Very strange. Our dog chases the neighborhood cats but lets our cat dominate her. Very funny to watch. mikey
Comment from Nosha17
This made my morning, it was full of charm and wit, of the Irish kind! I enjoyed it immensely because I love doggy tales. You have had a rare array of dogs, of all shapes, sizes and characters, but all lovable with the special stamp we put on each one of them. Very well-written with great humour. Faye
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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This made my morning, it was full of charm and wit, of the Irish kind! I enjoyed it immensely because I love doggy tales. You have had a rare array of dogs, of all shapes, sizes and characters, but all lovable with the special stamp we put on each one of them. Very well-written with great humour. Faye
Comment Written 12-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013
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So happy you are enjoying this. I learned early that wealth wasn't coming. So, charm and wit moved up my list. hahaha. mikey
