One Christmas Night
A simple story in iambic pentameter.40 total reviews
Comment from expressions9
Oh, this is so very beautiful, beautiful, MissMerri! Such perfect meter and rhyme and such tender words full of imagery, telling a beautiful story - I love it! You absolutely deserved to win - congratulations!! (My 6s have all gone)
God bless you :)
love Christine
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Oh, this is so very beautiful, beautiful, MissMerri! Such perfect meter and rhyme and such tender words full of imagery, telling a beautiful story - I love it! You absolutely deserved to win - congratulations!! (My 6s have all gone)
God bless you :)
love Christine
Comment Written 02-Jan-2014
Comment from Contests
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 A contest winning entry! A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for posting the winning contest entry. |
Comment Written 02-Jan-2014
Comment from amanda98653
WOW. I LOVE THAT, Adonna.
Definitely exceptional.
The rhyme scheme is flawless, as always.
The opening lines are superb:
"One Christmas night I had a wondrous dream.
I walked in darkness through a snowy scene
and marveled that I did not lose my way,
nor was I cold, though why, I could not say."
Iambic pentameter is flawless. The rhythm is smooth and the words go well with the flow.
The sibilance in "snowy scene" sounds great when read aloud.
The second stanza is beautiful:
"I heard a bird whose song was like a bell,
a gentle chiming as the snowflakes fell,
and wondered if his singing kept him warm
or was it meant to sound a sweet alarm?"
"like a bell"- pretty simile
Bells are commonly representative of joy and freedom
"When I awoke, I saw the sun was bright
and all the snowy world alive with light.
A small bird in a nearby tree
began to sing a cheerful melody"
Great use of pathetic fallacy in "the sun was bright"- the transition of mood is effective.
"and since that night, I've never been the same.
It was, for me, the night the Savior came."
exceptional. best wishes in the contest, Adonna.
I am rooting for you<3
hugs
Amanda
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2013
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WOW. I LOVE THAT, Adonna.
Definitely exceptional.
The rhyme scheme is flawless, as always.
The opening lines are superb:
"One Christmas night I had a wondrous dream.
I walked in darkness through a snowy scene
and marveled that I did not lose my way,
nor was I cold, though why, I could not say."
Iambic pentameter is flawless. The rhythm is smooth and the words go well with the flow.
The sibilance in "snowy scene" sounds great when read aloud.
The second stanza is beautiful:
"I heard a bird whose song was like a bell,
a gentle chiming as the snowflakes fell,
and wondered if his singing kept him warm
or was it meant to sound a sweet alarm?"
"like a bell"- pretty simile
Bells are commonly representative of joy and freedom
"When I awoke, I saw the sun was bright
and all the snowy world alive with light.
A small bird in a nearby tree
began to sing a cheerful melody"
Great use of pathetic fallacy in "the sun was bright"- the transition of mood is effective.
"and since that night, I've never been the same.
It was, for me, the night the Savior came."
exceptional. best wishes in the contest, Adonna.
I am rooting for you<3
hugs
Amanda
Comment Written 24-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2013
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Thank you so much Amanda. What a wonderful review. It meant so much to me to read your kind words and perceptive interpretation of my poem. Thanks for your good wishes too. That also means a lot to me. Hugs, MM
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You're welcome, Adonna:)
Have a wonderful New Year.
hugs and love
Amanda
Comment from JM daSilva
I'm not a Christian, but I celebrate Christmas too because my mom is Christian. She's going to enjoy this poem. Whenever I find one, I give it to her. Thanks.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2013
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I'm not a Christian, but I celebrate Christmas too because my mom is Christian. She's going to enjoy this poem. Whenever I find one, I give it to her. Thanks.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2013
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Thank you for telling me this, JM. I am glad you want to share this, and I do hope your mother enjoys it. I hope both of you have a delightful Christmas.
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You too. Have a great Christmas.
Comment from Joan E.
I enjoyed your rhymed couplets in these Christmas-story quatrains. Your "bell" and "bird" similes are quite effective, and the message in your dream is clearly conveyed. Cheers from chilly Canada- Joan
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2013
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I enjoyed your rhymed couplets in these Christmas-story quatrains. Your "bell" and "bird" similes are quite effective, and the message in your dream is clearly conveyed. Cheers from chilly Canada- Joan
Comment Written 12-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2013
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Thank you Joan, for taking time out to write this kind review. I'm always glad to hear from you.
Comment from essence56
Wonderful Christmas poem. I loved the flow and your way of I beautiful words you used. I read it four times because it was so great. Thank you
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2013
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Wonderful Christmas poem. I loved the flow and your way of I beautiful words you used. I read it four times because it was so great. Thank you
Comment Written 12-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2013
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Wow! I'm so honored that you would want to read this four times. Thank you SO much sweet essence. I sincerely appreciate these kind words. Love, MM
Comment from IndianaIrish
What a beautiful poem for the Christmas poetry contest, MM. I loved the rhymes, your great enjambment, and the beautiful message of your words. It was a joy to read and I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Smiles,
Karyn : )
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2013
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What a beautiful poem for the Christmas poetry contest, MM. I loved the rhymes, your great enjambment, and the beautiful message of your words. It was a joy to read and I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Smiles,
Karyn : )
Comment Written 12-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2013
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Karyn, I thank you so much for this exceptional rating, and your most encouraging words. How sweet you are! Thanks so much for your consistent support and understanding. MM
Comment from Connie C
You never disappoint, sweet lady. This is simply beautiful--the imagery, the rhyme, and the message in this poem how that one dream brought a transformation to your life.
I love your choice of image and the color scheme for this beautiful poem of yours. My very best to you in the contest. I, personally, think you have a winner here. I hope you are doing well and perhaps we could meet again right after the holidays. I'd love to see you. It's been awhile.
Hugs,
Connie
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2013
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You never disappoint, sweet lady. This is simply beautiful--the imagery, the rhyme, and the message in this poem how that one dream brought a transformation to your life.
I love your choice of image and the color scheme for this beautiful poem of yours. My very best to you in the contest. I, personally, think you have a winner here. I hope you are doing well and perhaps we could meet again right after the holidays. I'd love to see you. It's been awhile.
Hugs,
Connie
Comment Written 11-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2013
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What a delightful thing to read this afternoon! I can't think of a finer compliment than to be told I never disappoint. That is so nice of you to say! Your kind words are always so encouraging. I truly look forward to another visit with you. Soon Bob will be able to drive again (we hope!) and I will have a little more freedom. Let's plan something. Have a joyous Christmas! MM
Comment from nancyjam
You have written a beautiful, inspiring and
uplifting poem.
The speaker receives the message of Christmas
in a dream and wakes to find it a reality through nature's
beauty.
I loved it. Good luck in the contest. Nancy
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2013
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You have written a beautiful, inspiring and
uplifting poem.
The speaker receives the message of Christmas
in a dream and wakes to find it a reality through nature's
beauty.
I loved it. Good luck in the contest. Nancy
Comment Written 11-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2013
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Thank you so much Nancy. I do love nature and love to write poetry that incorporates the beauty I see all around me. I'm so glad you enjoyed this poem, and I'm very grateful for the exceptional rating. That is a lovely thing! Hugs, MM
Comment from RGstar
Through nature , faith and natural life.
If all of these are consistent with the emotion that hold them true, then life's balance would be as pure as the happiness it would give.
MissMeri,
Yet another from the heart.
The little bird sings its many songs to remind of us the connection between our nature, peace and faith.
There are so many paths to the road where one needs to be on, you seem to have gone down the right path.
Best wishes, MissMerri,
Have a wonderful Christmas,
Rgstar
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2013
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Through nature , faith and natural life.
If all of these are consistent with the emotion that hold them true, then life's balance would be as pure as the happiness it would give.
MissMeri,
Yet another from the heart.
The little bird sings its many songs to remind of us the connection between our nature, peace and faith.
There are so many paths to the road where one needs to be on, you seem to have gone down the right path.
Best wishes, MissMerri,
Have a wonderful Christmas,
Rgstar
Comment Written 11-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2013
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Thank you so much RG. Your words are warming and I'm always glad to hear from you. Have a wonderful Christmas yourself. :p
