Comment from vkmack

Excellent

Wow. What a gruesome tale this is! I had to take a break between the story and notes, then another after the notes. Our Belle was a bit of a vampire, albeit one with her particular predilection. I've heard other women say, "I'd like to rip his heart out," but I never took them seriously. Maybe I should have. Great story flow, extremely realistic and a tad gory details, and fascinating characters. Your notes are as detailed as usual, my friend. Love it all!

I noticed one tiny glitch:

"churning--whirring-- like a well oiled gyroscope." Your spacing didn't transfer in copy/space. You have an extra space instead of an extra dash after whirring. Easy fix.

Fantastic job. Good luck in the contest, Anonymous You. ;)

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2013

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2013

Thanks for pointing that out for me, vmack, and I appreciate the fabulous review, too!

reply by vkmack on 07-Dec-2013

Wish I had a six to share! Dangit.

You are so welcome.

Good luck!

Vista Kay

reply by the author on 07-Dec-2013

Thanks, it looks like I'm gonna' need all of the luck that I can get, LOL...

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

Interesting. You used an infamous historical figure as inspiration for a modern tale of a woman spurned. The circumstances of why they killed was altered, but the story was gruesome and despite the picture very visual. As usual you have outdone yourself again.

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2013

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2013

Thank you very much, lancellot. I truly appreciate that!

Comment from Bobby Jo

Excellent

Oh my word, this is a truly gruesome tale that gave me shivers and made my heart take a couple leaps. Who comes up with such stories. Creepy and good, but not my type of story.

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2013

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2013

Thanks, Bobby Jo, if it gave you chills, then I did my job properly, LOL...

I appreciate the kind review.

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is very well written, mystery writer, (i think i know who you are, lol) this is ab excellent story and the author notes were so interesting. i wish you the best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2013

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2013

Thank you, sweetwoodjax, I truly appreciate the outstanding review. Keep all the great stories in mind come voting time. If not mine, then one of the other fine stories in the prompt. Lots of great stories in one, so I'll need all of the luck I can get, LOL...

Thanks so much again!

Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER

Excellent

I must say despite the gore, I liked the read. Well written and presented (video pic included) the piece transits from one scene to the next effortlessly. Bravo. Deserves a 6 but alas my heart wasn't in it.(I ran out). Excellent.

Regards:

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 Comment Written 06-Dec-2013

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2013

Hah, your heart wasn't in it..., huh? Oh, that was go-o-o-o-d, Stephen! Unfortunately for Matt, his wasn't in the relationship with darling Amanda, either.

Thanks for the clever review, much appreciated!

reply by STEPHEN A CARTER on 06-Dec-2013

Dear ?: Glad you were not upset at my lame attempt at humor. Do drop by my site sometime. I'm writing 100 short poems on America. Thanks.

With Respect: Steve C

reply by the author on 06-Dec-2013

Oh, I frequently review your outstanding poems, Stephen, and I enjoy them quite a bit.

I understand good tongue-in-cheek humor when I see it, and that was a great line. I wasn't offended in the least, my friend.

Comment from Narvik

Excellent

Whoa, this was chilling. Literally holding his heart in her hands? It doesn't get much creepier than that. This should be a main contender for the contest.

Amanda showed up late to their meeting place that Amanda realized (I'd consider changing the second Amanda to "she" to avoid repetition)

Anyway, very interesting and gripping tale.

~ Marv

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2013

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2013

Thanks a million, Marvin. I'll make that change right now. I appreciate your excellent feedback, my friend!