The Never Starting Story
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "The Fifties: A myth?"A collection of things that fit nowhere else.
19 total reviews
Comment from Sasha
This rang so true to me. When I was a young girl we played until it was pitch black and never once worried or feared for our safety. I never knew anyone that disappeared, was molested, beaten or harmed in any way. All that was done at my house which is probably why I stayed out as late as I could.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2013
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This rang so true to me. When I was a young girl we played until it was pitch black and never once worried or feared for our safety. I never knew anyone that disappeared, was molested, beaten or harmed in any way. All that was done at my house which is probably why I stayed out as late as I could.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2013
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Yeah, me too. I don't know what kids with lousy home lives do now. Not safe outside either.
Comment from tbacha58
I miss being a little boy
when did I become a man?
can't someone please just tell me:
That part of your childhood, was a sad part in your life, the sadness I feel when you write about nobody caring or knowing where I am , you had a very rough childhood, very sad, and lonely, I think that is why you should be more proud of yourself, of who yo are to day. That verse I chose, broke my heart. Beautiful pen. Hugs Mike. Terry
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2013
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I miss being a little boy
when did I become a man?
can't someone please just tell me:
That part of your childhood, was a sad part in your life, the sadness I feel when you write about nobody caring or knowing where I am , you had a very rough childhood, very sad, and lonely, I think that is why you should be more proud of yourself, of who yo are to day. That verse I chose, broke my heart. Beautiful pen. Hugs Mike. Terry
Comment Written 27-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2013
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Hi mum. Catching up. Don't be sad. All very far in the past. I am very happy now with a lot to write about. You make me proud of myself. Thank you. love, mikey
Comment from Lovinia
My goodness Mikey, you really know how to tell a story..... I am always amazed at your acuity and ability to put it in writing and keep the reader entranced and totally involved in your world.
Of course, I identify with so much of this ... just re-locate Curtis Avenue to a small middle-class suburb on the east coast of Australia, and change the names of the pedophiles.
I didn't live with the alcoholism until I married, I sure do understand the insanity and having to take charge at a very early age. My experience of Vietnam was largely my friends older sister's boyfriend being called up or perhaps being killed. I did attend a conference in Hawaii and met a number of returned vets and learned some of their horrifying stories and the difficulty in fitting back into the mainstream ... in fact many of them never did.
Your style is so unique and original and I think very publishable as a book. I'm only a beginner in the prose and can only comment as a reader. I can pick up some spag. More professional writers could advise about the structure and the requirements of a book.
As a reader I would love to see your book published as you write and present your work. Short stories interspersed with the excellent poetry and in creative fonts to enhance the visual effect. You have an eclectic style which I feel could be capitalised as your signature. I may be wrong of course and a more usual format may be required by publishers.
Anyway, this is exceptional and this will be the last time I apologise for not having a six ... most of your posts deserve the rating. I hope you do know how good a writer you are.
I only spotted two nits:
"where two neighborhood" - 'were'
"love woman and" - 'women'
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!
Hugs - Lovi xoxox
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2013
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My goodness Mikey, you really know how to tell a story..... I am always amazed at your acuity and ability to put it in writing and keep the reader entranced and totally involved in your world.
Of course, I identify with so much of this ... just re-locate Curtis Avenue to a small middle-class suburb on the east coast of Australia, and change the names of the pedophiles.
I didn't live with the alcoholism until I married, I sure do understand the insanity and having to take charge at a very early age. My experience of Vietnam was largely my friends older sister's boyfriend being called up or perhaps being killed. I did attend a conference in Hawaii and met a number of returned vets and learned some of their horrifying stories and the difficulty in fitting back into the mainstream ... in fact many of them never did.
Your style is so unique and original and I think very publishable as a book. I'm only a beginner in the prose and can only comment as a reader. I can pick up some spag. More professional writers could advise about the structure and the requirements of a book.
As a reader I would love to see your book published as you write and present your work. Short stories interspersed with the excellent poetry and in creative fonts to enhance the visual effect. You have an eclectic style which I feel could be capitalised as your signature. I may be wrong of course and a more usual format may be required by publishers.
Anyway, this is exceptional and this will be the last time I apologise for not having a six ... most of your posts deserve the rating. I hope you do know how good a writer you are.
I only spotted two nits:
"where two neighborhood" - 'were'
"love woman and" - 'women'
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!
Hugs - Lovi xoxox
Comment Written 27-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2013
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This is such a wonderful and encouraging review. I love all of your comments and insights so much. I am starting to think that perhaps I can write yes. I take it seriously when a good writer tells me I can. My little book here is so unformatted but, it doesn't seem to matter as it is more of a collection I suppose. Just short essays I guess they would be called on various subjects. Well, whatever it is. It does seem well received. I know I enjoy reading other peoples personal accounts of events and their takes on matters like this. I haven't a clue about publishing. But, I think perhaps I will get one. I have the same feeling about reviewing prose as you do. I don't know anything about it other than writing it and reading it. But, that kind of input to me tells me more of what I really want to know, is this interesting and something that you would want to read. Is there things that bogged the story down or confused you. Things like that. The technical stuff is good, I am getting that too, don't use words like really or was or were so often. Long sentences. Rambling on and on like I am now and expecting my charm to rescue me. hahaha. Well, I truly thank you for this excellent review and input. it is very appreciated, mikey
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Hi Mikey
I have to get back and read the earlier chapters I've missed...... gosh i must be at least one thousand chapters behind on all the books/short stories I would like to read on this site.
I think part of the appeal is that it is unformatted..... kind of random jumps rather than sequential. Though the experts will know more than me.
For me, I think you should market yourself and the book comes along. Your loving spirit, gentle nature and social conscience seem to jump out at me as I read your work and 'listen' to your genuine voice in your reviews and responses.
Well, you know you're charming but that comes with great responsibility ... charm can be genuine and unaffected or used to advantage by manipulating psychopaths. LOL I'm presuming I'm right and that you're the former??? :)))) Of course I have been known to be wrong!!! Hahahaha! (Ask the very charming stalker who has ruined my life). It also markets very well. .... either/or ..... Mother Theresa marketed as well as Bonnie & Clyde. :))
[For our multi-author Japanese poetry anthology - Piecees of Her Mind - we used G&J Publishing. Palm Springs California - www.gandjpublishing.com, Jeff and Gayle are fantastic to deal with and very committed. They are also members of FS. Their company offers art work, editing, marketing, etc - while our co-ordinator had most of the dealings with them, we individual authors had individual dealing. I found them to have complete integrity and were highly professional..... Gen Gentry who is also an author on FS offer her marketing expertise in marketing your own book. PM me if you want to know any more]
As I say, I'm a poet and a 'learning' prose writer - I do know what I would buy and love to read. I also like intelligence and wisdom included in the writing ... entertaining and interesting while conveying social commentary.
Yes I appreciate those who offer the technical advice and I also love the enthusiasm or excitement expressed by someone who has simply enjoyed my work. (I think I've left out the really's, was's and were's. Possibly too many or not enough commas.)
Oooops, I just remembered I promised myself not to ramble on .... though i do enjoy a good ramble every now and then, either my own or someone else's ...... so ramble anytime. Hugs - Lovi xoxoxo
glitter-graphics.com
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I am a fan of rambling. Well, smart interesting rambling anyway! I am learning as well. I suppose I have discovered that I can write before I have discovered how to write. So, it leaves me a bit in a confused state as to what to do. When you mention marketing my own book that sounds rather terrifying actually. Hahaha! I mean, isn't there someone that can cuddle me and tell me what to do?? Does G & J publish or help the writer publish? It is even strange to speak of publishing for me. In August of this year, no one had even read anything I had written. I also have shelves of writing that I don't know what to do with. Well, these are all good things I know. You are so wonderful to take the time to offer me such good advice. By the way if I was a sociopath I would probably already be published!! Ha! I know I am getting two schools of thought. One is telling me traditional things about novels and what publishers look for. The other side tells me to do what I am doing because that is what is good about my style. Something tells me the latter might be the right way for me. Well, rambling myself. Thank you again. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Learning how to put cute graphics up is on my list too. mikey
Comment from Spitfire
Wow, Mickey. This is powerful. Your best yet. I remember those days when it felt and was safe to play outside, walk alone to a busstop. TV shows gave us a world that was safe and filled with love and humor instead of violence against women and children. Locked from the Inside-- a marvelous poem. I do wish you could break these up into shorter writes so we could take more time to devour the poems too.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2013
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Wow, Mickey. This is powerful. Your best yet. I remember those days when it felt and was safe to play outside, walk alone to a busstop. TV shows gave us a world that was safe and filled with love and humor instead of violence against women and children. Locked from the Inside-- a marvelous poem. I do wish you could break these up into shorter writes so we could take more time to devour the poems too.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2013
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Shorter? How much shorter would you think? I know I pay too much attention to matching what a post should be here. I am so pleased that you like this so much. Your review really means the world to me. I skipped a day so I could knock about a hundred words out of this. Didn't notice them either after I was done. Thank you so much. If I thought I would survive, I would do a cartwheel!! mikey
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I think you should have place the three paragraphs after the poem about Locked before the poem and ended the piece with the poem itself.
Then you switch to women, a new topic. That would be a new post.
Comment from ravenblack
Much of the fifties was a myth, racism and abuse swept under the rug. Duck and cover- how willingly naive people were. I was like you too, hated to go inside, would stay out with friends until close to 9:00 p.m. in gradeschool. The whole neighborhood was out. What happened? red light/green light- the 70's version was called Ghost in the Graveyard.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2013
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Much of the fifties was a myth, racism and abuse swept under the rug. Duck and cover- how willingly naive people were. I was like you too, hated to go inside, would stay out with friends until close to 9:00 p.m. in gradeschool. The whole neighborhood was out. What happened? red light/green light- the 70's version was called Ghost in the Graveyard.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2013
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Ghost in the Graveyard. Why do I think a certain poet came up with that? ha! They did a good job of sweeping too. I didn't know there were two child molesters on my block till years after the fact. Didn't even know their were races till there was a riot. No wonder I was so naïve and thought I could change the world. Some times though. Even left the keys in the ignition. Bait car. mikey
Comment from l.raven
OMG Michael, What memories this poem has...sounds like a lot of my life...we owned the streets...we played happily till bed time...catching frogs under the lights...had to let them go...mom hated them...at least in the house...those were the days...and then things changed...A wonderful write and I love your poem Women...Luff Ya Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2013
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OMG Michael, What memories this poem has...sounds like a lot of my life...we owned the streets...we played happily till bed time...catching frogs under the lights...had to let them go...mom hated them...at least in the house...those were the days...and then things changed...A wonderful write and I love your poem Women...Luff Ya Linda xxoo
Comment Written 26-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2013
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Those really were wonderful times. We would take off in the morning on summer days and come back for dinner and then be out all night. safe as can be. no locked doors. even left the keys in the car. so glad you liked this, especially the poem, mikey
Comment from Nosha17
The mention of those early American shows of the Fifties brought back memories. Those days American shows were so popular in the UK because they were unsophisticated family shows you could watch with Mum and Dad. This is a real trip down memory lane for you. Nicely written and it made a really interesting read from beginning to end. Poems were a nice added bonus. Faye
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2013
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The mention of those early American shows of the Fifties brought back memories. Those days American shows were so popular in the UK because they were unsophisticated family shows you could watch with Mum and Dad. This is a real trip down memory lane for you. Nicely written and it made a really interesting read from beginning to end. Poems were a nice added bonus. Faye
Comment Written 26-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2013
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Glad you enjoyed it. Lots of fun for me. I can't believe considering the way things are now that we actually once lived like that. We used to leave the keys in the ignition of the car too. mikey
Comment from nancy_e_davis
My neighborhood taught me to love woman and to not have a very high regard for men. With a few exceptions, I have seen little in my life that would change my opinion.
I agree!
I was a teenager in the fifties. Everything you say is true. We were relatively safe to be on the streets after dark. We didn't have to lock our doors and dad never lost the car keys because they were always in the ignition.
You are correct about not arguing with insanity or drunks and also about bullies. Good job Mikey.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2013
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My neighborhood taught me to love woman and to not have a very high regard for men. With a few exceptions, I have seen little in my life that would change my opinion.
I agree!
I was a teenager in the fifties. Everything you say is true. We were relatively safe to be on the streets after dark. We didn't have to lock our doors and dad never lost the car keys because they were always in the ignition.
You are correct about not arguing with insanity or drunks and also about bullies. Good job Mikey.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2013
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Yes! Keys in the car. Forgot that one. So true. I left my car parked in front of the high school with the keys in the ignition. about 3000 kids walking around. didn't think a thing of it. Yep. Never a big fan of men. I am not sure what women see in us really. But, I'm not one to argue. Hahaha! mikey
Comment from GracieAnn
michaelcahill, I come from the same era as you. In our little town of maybe 150 people, there was a reflection of the world at large...a microcosm of sorts. We had a voyeur, a gay man who molested little boys, a murderer who shot his dad while he was sleeping, and immorality originating from the church organist. But to balance that there were some fine godly people who would do anything for you and were there in a pinch.
You're right, this isn't society's first rodeo. The piece immediately captivated my imagination and held throughout. The format is yours and I wouldn't be too concerned about conforming it to something that is someone else's, after all we were all "nonconformists" in the 70's, right? LOL. I find it interesting and feel that you could expand and do a series by breaking it up into segments as the mystery is slowly revealed-like a mini book.
The concern is that this sort of abuse or dysfunctionalism is "normalized" now and is exponentially worse. Roots start to grow from somewhere. The 50 and 60's brought a major turn away from true godly principles, sadly.
I think this is very well done. Do some more! :0 GracieAnn
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2013
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michaelcahill, I come from the same era as you. In our little town of maybe 150 people, there was a reflection of the world at large...a microcosm of sorts. We had a voyeur, a gay man who molested little boys, a murderer who shot his dad while he was sleeping, and immorality originating from the church organist. But to balance that there were some fine godly people who would do anything for you and were there in a pinch.
You're right, this isn't society's first rodeo. The piece immediately captivated my imagination and held throughout. The format is yours and I wouldn't be too concerned about conforming it to something that is someone else's, after all we were all "nonconformists" in the 70's, right? LOL. I find it interesting and feel that you could expand and do a series by breaking it up into segments as the mystery is slowly revealed-like a mini book.
The concern is that this sort of abuse or dysfunctionalism is "normalized" now and is exponentially worse. Roots start to grow from somewhere. The 50 and 60's brought a major turn away from true godly principles, sadly.
I think this is very well done. Do some more! :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 26-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2013
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I love your great insights and comments. I do have a lot more. I am more or less jumping around with my little book. Tonight's chapter is about the seventies and I have done quite about the sixties. Lots of different topics and folks have suggested ones as well. Up to chapter 33 now. I originally was looking for something to do with my old poetry which goes back to when I was twelve. It has just grown from there. Definitely nonconformist as you point out! There was a decided turn from Godly principals by many in that time and it hurt them. But, others held to those principals and it helped guide them through some pretty wild times. Interesting times to say the least. mikey
Comment from nelliesellie
I was born in the 50's too. The dangers were at home, behind the closed doors. Ozzie and Harriet were only on TV. Even back then, we kids never fell for the myth. I didn't know any woman who did their dishes while wearing a dress, high heels, make-up and jewellery .Our parents knew what was right. But they had a lot to learn about what was wrong. Great work.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2013
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I was born in the 50's too. The dangers were at home, behind the closed doors. Ozzie and Harriet were only on TV. Even back then, we kids never fell for the myth. I didn't know any woman who did their dishes while wearing a dress, high heels, make-up and jewellery .Our parents knew what was right. But they had a lot to learn about what was wrong. Great work.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2013
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Always on the money. That is it in a nutshell. Knowing what is right but, needing to learn what is wrong. That is a great truth right there. Thank you, mikey
