reflection
a man sees the unrecognizable image of himself6 total reviews
Comment from Jean Lutz
So few words, yet so full of meaning. I just gave my last reviewer a quote from my still open Bible. I see it applies to your offering as well. 1 Corinthians 13:12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. (New Revised Standard Version)
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So few words, yet so full of meaning. I just gave my last reviewer a quote from my still open Bible. I see it applies to your offering as well. 1 Corinthians 13:12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. (New Revised Standard Version)
Comment Written 26-Nov-2013
Comment from adewpearl
Your poem is in excellent 5/7/5 syllable count
good alliteration in surprised by the sight and in watching, waiting
it's me - add the apostrophe for contraction of it is
an interesting look at what we see in ourselves
Brooke
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Your poem is in excellent 5/7/5 syllable count
good alliteration in surprised by the sight and in watching, waiting
it's me - add the apostrophe for contraction of it is
an interesting look at what we see in ourselves
Brooke
Comment Written 25-Nov-2013
Comment from kiwisteveh
I suppose the idea that the person in the mirror hast their own identity is not new, but you give it a twist here by the casual way you speak to it and the thought that it might be surprised or alarmed by what it sees - most examples would have it the other way around.
I especially like your last line with its gently calming 'it's me, just me.'
Good luck.
Steve
PS The title is an important part of your poem - it would be interpreted very differently without that extra nugget of information.
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I suppose the idea that the person in the mirror hast their own identity is not new, but you give it a twist here by the casual way you speak to it and the thought that it might be surprised or alarmed by what it sees - most examples would have it the other way around.
I especially like your last line with its gently calming 'it's me, just me.'
Good luck.
Steve
PS The title is an important part of your poem - it would be interpreted very differently without that extra nugget of information.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2013
Comment from FrannyG
I'm not sure that the last line makes clear what is happening. If you said 'But it's me, it's you' that would make it clearer that the speaker is the reflected image and is the same person who is doing the watching and waiting. Just a suggestion, but your idea is good.
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I'm not sure that the last line makes clear what is happening. If you said 'But it's me, it's you' that would make it clearer that the speaker is the reflected image and is the same person who is doing the watching and waiting. Just a suggestion, but your idea is good.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2013
Comment from anele;)
Nice. Simple. To the point but with plenty of food for thought. Only feedback I would give is to reconsider some of the commas. Maybe drop the one after watching and after sight. The one in the final line seems to have a purpose there. Thank you for sharing.
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Nice. Simple. To the point but with plenty of food for thought. Only feedback I would give is to reconsider some of the commas. Maybe drop the one after watching and after sight. The one in the final line seems to have a purpose there. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2013
Comment from tbacha58
I see you watching,
Waiting, surprised by the sight,
But its me, just me
Whoa, that was quick, and this verse must be a master piece for you to. Very different verse with lots of fun. Terry xx
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I see you watching,
Waiting, surprised by the sight,
But its me, just me
Whoa, that was quick, and this verse must be a master piece for you to. Very different verse with lots of fun. Terry xx
Comment Written 25-Nov-2013
