Pale Sisters
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Heidi and Queen Deana"Science fiction.
18 total reviews
Comment from ElPoetry001
Excellent.
Prison guards, and correctional officers, are two of the euphemisms used when the public refers to the gate keepers to Hell.
The prisoners have other names for them.
Most officers consider their work a s job, and do it within the rules. Some percentage of the officers are 'insane' predators that use their absolute power to demean, degrade, and defile the prisoners.
Sex is about the only thing a female prisoner has to trade in order to avoid a beating and sexual damage.
Low pay, low education, are two of the qualifications to become a prison 'hack.'
Many inmates are in prison for using drugs; non-violent offenses; but their judgment, Hell, retribution, restitution, degradation is meted out by the 'sickest' person in the prison system; many on the outside do not care;; when their child is arrested philosophies change; life views change just after you put on the other persons shoes.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2013
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Excellent.
Prison guards, and correctional officers, are two of the euphemisms used when the public refers to the gate keepers to Hell.
The prisoners have other names for them.
Most officers consider their work a s job, and do it within the rules. Some percentage of the officers are 'insane' predators that use their absolute power to demean, degrade, and defile the prisoners.
Sex is about the only thing a female prisoner has to trade in order to avoid a beating and sexual damage.
Low pay, low education, are two of the qualifications to become a prison 'hack.'
Many inmates are in prison for using drugs; non-violent offenses; but their judgment, Hell, retribution, restitution, degradation is meted out by the 'sickest' person in the prison system; many on the outside do not care;; when their child is arrested philosophies change; life views change just after you put on the other persons shoes.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2013
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Thank you for your terrific, insightful review. Bill
Comment from lindalcreel
Poor girl; what did she do to deserve that? Bill is a real POS. Eventually, he will be found out. Heidi got it right when she said he was a soul-less creature. At least she won't have to endure any more physical pain. Pity her ghost doesn't come back to haunt them all. Great chapter. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2013
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Poor girl; what did she do to deserve that? Bill is a real POS. Eventually, he will be found out. Heidi got it right when she said he was a soul-less creature. At least she won't have to endure any more physical pain. Pity her ghost doesn't come back to haunt them all. Great chapter. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2013
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Thank you for the great review, Linda.
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So welcome:)
Comment from Dean Kuch
Imagine my delight at seeing that another chapter of Pale Sisters was in my inbox and ready to be read. And so, here I am, as I begin to read...
First and foremost, the picture you have chosen for this chapter is chilling. It inspired me to create a book cover for this entire book, based upon your photo, because I am such a huge fan of the story. You'll find it at the end of this review, and may use it if you wish, or not. Just a way to show my appreciation for the story and the talent behind it.
Many men & women employed as guards in prisons quickly lose apathy for the wards they are placed in charge of guarding. They deal with the rigors and daily grind of seeing the hostilities and vile acts the inmates frequently perpetrate upon each other, so naturally, they become desensitized to the debauchery. It's human nature. Billy Lewis is one such case.
Your chilling, well written description of the diabolical inmate known only as Queen Deana was very well done, Bill. The small details, such as the post nasal drip, coupled with the physical attributes you've given this, ah...woman, make her visage come alive. Very creepy!
We are left to the devices of our own imaginations as to what vile acts Queen Deana actually did to poor Heidi. Many times, what the author does NOT allow us access to are the most eerie and chilling of all.
This was no exception to that rule...
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2013
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Imagine my delight at seeing that another chapter of Pale Sisters was in my inbox and ready to be read. And so, here I am, as I begin to read...
First and foremost, the picture you have chosen for this chapter is chilling. It inspired me to create a book cover for this entire book, based upon your photo, because I am such a huge fan of the story. You'll find it at the end of this review, and may use it if you wish, or not. Just a way to show my appreciation for the story and the talent behind it.
Many men & women employed as guards in prisons quickly lose apathy for the wards they are placed in charge of guarding. They deal with the rigors and daily grind of seeing the hostilities and vile acts the inmates frequently perpetrate upon each other, so naturally, they become desensitized to the debauchery. It's human nature. Billy Lewis is one such case.
Your chilling, well written description of the diabolical inmate known only as Queen Deana was very well done, Bill. The small details, such as the post nasal drip, coupled with the physical attributes you've given this, ah...woman, make her visage come alive. Very creepy!
We are left to the devices of our own imaginations as to what vile acts Queen Deana actually did to poor Heidi. Many times, what the author does NOT allow us access to are the most eerie and chilling of all.
This was no exception to that rule...
Comment Written 24-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2013
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I am blown away by your review, Dean. I am truly humbled that you are a fan of this story line. Thank you for the shot in the arm suggesting this was publishable. I am beginning to think that the prison may be the initial setting with back stories bringing all the players together. I covet your thoughts. Bill
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Sure thing, Bill, it's my pleasure.
Comment from denhagan
This was an interesting but sad story to read about a woman prisoner that was put in a cell with another woman prisoner who was large and cruel.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2013
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This was an interesting but sad story to read about a woman prisoner that was put in a cell with another woman prisoner who was large and cruel.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2013
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Thank you for reviewing this. Bill
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You're welcome Bill,
Dennis
Comment from Oatmeal
Bill,
This writing was filled with a lot of action. Your words created many scary impressions. The characters were described very well.
There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2013
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Bill,
This writing was filled with a lot of action. Your words created many scary impressions. The characters were described very well.
There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 23-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2013
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Thank you for reviewing this. Bill
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Bill,
You are very welcome.
Love you,
Camille
Comment from adewpearl
What a horrifically brutal scene - you have me cringing and pretty much speechless. Excellent character development and emotionally-charged dialogue. Brooke
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2013
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What a horrifically brutal scene - you have me cringing and pretty much speechless. Excellent character development and emotionally-charged dialogue. Brooke
Comment Written 23-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2013
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Thank you for reviewing this, Brooke. I know these characters (Billy and Deana) are brutal, but I hope to use them later and they need to be hated by the reader.
Comment from djsaxon
Bill, this is absolutely chilling. For content such as this to be truly effective, I believe that the writing must be well crafted and tightly couched. This chapter ticks all the boxes. The three protagonists are very strongly written. Ouch! What a stomach-churning way to start my Sunday!
'...he could hear the sound of snoring coming cell,...'
An extra shudder elicited by the last two lines :) Cheers - DJ
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reply by the author on 23-Nov-2013
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Bill, this is absolutely chilling. For content such as this to be truly effective, I believe that the writing must be well crafted and tightly couched. This chapter ticks all the boxes. The three protagonists are very strongly written. Ouch! What a stomach-churning way to start my Sunday!
'...he could hear the sound of snoring coming cell,...'
An extra shudder elicited by the last two lines :) Cheers - DJ
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2013
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Thank you for reviewing this, DJ. I had hoped to make skin crawl. Thank you for pointing out the grammar error. I found four others as I revised.
Comment from Drums4life
I don't really get the point of this.
You also should get some more exciting words, instead of the same ones.
You should make your story more clear, as I didn't really understand what you were writing about.
If this is part of a story then I should be able to tell whats happening. I should be able to take any chapter of a story and tell what is happening and why. You can't just leave them clueless and hanging. As for the picture, it will steer readers away. They will be like "Oh great, its another kind of these stories." Whereas if you got a picture that went better with the story they would be like "Oh cool! Totally looks good I'll review it/buy it/whatever your case is.
Personally, I would not buy this book if I had opened to this page (Assuming this to be a book)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2013
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I don't really get the point of this.
You also should get some more exciting words, instead of the same ones.
You should make your story more clear, as I didn't really understand what you were writing about.
If this is part of a story then I should be able to tell whats happening. I should be able to take any chapter of a story and tell what is happening and why. You can't just leave them clueless and hanging. As for the picture, it will steer readers away. They will be like "Oh great, its another kind of these stories." Whereas if you got a picture that went better with the story they would be like "Oh cool! Totally looks good I'll review it/buy it/whatever your case is.
Personally, I would not buy this book if I had opened to this page (Assuming this to be a book)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2013
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Thank you for reviewing.
