Let's Love Today
a pantoum, that blew in on today's winter rains45 total reviews
Comment from Gungalo
And stirring gauzy curtains by our bed
the wind caresses us. You smile, and sigh.
Let's love today. Who knows what lies ahead?
The line is blurred between the sea and sky.
Such a beautiful pantoum girl. Talk about love and romance, this write has it all and grabs the reader to see it. The line Who knows what lies ahead is awesome.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2013
  |
And stirring gauzy curtains by our bed
the wind caresses us. You smile, and sigh.
Let's love today. Who knows what lies ahead?
The line is blurred between the sea and sky.
Such a beautiful pantoum girl. Talk about love and romance, this write has it all and grabs the reader to see it. The line Who knows what lies ahead is awesome.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2013
-
thx so much Pam - figured I'd better write one you could identify with, hmm?
:)S
-
LOL keep it up Sharyn. LOL try the pantoun sonnet next. LOL.
-
Holy hell! I'm still unscrambling my brain from a plain old pantoum Gungalo! But I do love the form! Now you've got me thinking ... I'll have to look it up ...
:)
-
Pantoum Sonnet.:
14 lines - Iambic Pentameter.
A1B1A2B2/ B1C1B2C2/ C1D1C2D2/ A2A1
Instructions!!! LOL.
-
Would you mind explaining? AB etc refers to rhyme scheme, but what do the numbers refer to please? (as you've only got ones and twos??)
-
The numbers refer to the line. In other words they must follow with these lines.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
wow and very complicated to read. Not the poem, the authors notes. The poem is very nicely done according to the authors notes. NIce to read and enjoy
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2013
|
wow and very complicated to read. Not the poem, the authors notes. The poem is very nicely done according to the authors notes. NIce to read and enjoy
Comment Written 14-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2013
-
I know! I had to write the directions down and have them sitting in front of me as I was writing it Barb! My brain is still inside out!
:)Sharyn
-
That is the way I feel when I try the 3 in 1
-
give me a pantoum any day!
Comment from Joy Graham
This is very lovely:) your title is strong and catchy. Excellent iambic pentameter and terrific use of enjambment. The story flows and does not feel choppy from repeating lines. Good rhymes throughout. I love the pantoum form and this poem is so smoothly done that I forgot it was a pantoum. It all makes me want to be in Hawaii for that winter storm as opposed to the cold and snow we have here LOL!!!
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2013
 |
This is very lovely:) your title is strong and catchy. Excellent iambic pentameter and terrific use of enjambment. The story flows and does not feel choppy from repeating lines. Good rhymes throughout. I love the pantoum form and this poem is so smoothly done that I forgot it was a pantoum. It all makes me want to be in Hawaii for that winter storm as opposed to the cold and snow we have here LOL!!!
Comment Written 14-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2013
-
Bless you for reading and enjoying, Joy - and, of course, for that lovely sixer! I've only ever written one pantoum before, but like you, I love the form - and this contemplative weather seemed a perfect time to turn inward and play!
:)Sharyn
Comment from Brumar97
I thoroughly enjoyed the images you created and the lovely words you chose. Why do you suppose grey is spelled gray in the States? Sorry that I am currently out of 6's. This is a 5+++. Thank you so much for sharing this piece.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2013
|
I thoroughly enjoyed the images you created and the lovely words you chose. Why do you suppose grey is spelled gray in the States? Sorry that I am currently out of 6's. This is a 5+++. Thank you so much for sharing this piece.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2013
-
Funny, Brumar - I live in Hawaii and usually, I see 'grey' spelled as 'grey' - but I do remember when I was growing up being taught that both spellings were acceptable! Maybe the poor Yankees are finally learning something about the English language from us dear! :)S
Comment from Pili Pubul
This poem is a six I wish I had... What a gift to wake up to this excellent
poem, love the style so much ! But the content is magnificent, great metaphors creating surreal imagery, depth in the message " Let's love today who knows what lies ahead " and yes let's celebrate life and death. Bravo. Pili
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2013
|
This poem is a six I wish I had... What a gift to wake up to this excellent
poem, love the style so much ! But the content is magnificent, great metaphors creating surreal imagery, depth in the message " Let's love today who knows what lies ahead " and yes let's celebrate life and death. Bravo. Pili
Comment Written 14-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2013
-
Pili, thank you so much for such a lovely review! I'm so glad you could snuggle up and enjoy this one my dear!
:)Sharyn
-
It was a pleasureSharing. ;--).
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
Evocative and subtle, the verses flow effortlessly and the stricture of the pantoum is well met. The 'th' and 't' sounds predominate, for ex:
"TH at drif Ts, like wrai THs, To where TH e seabirds fly
Deserves a 6 but alas I'm out.
Regards:
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2013
|
Evocative and subtle, the verses flow effortlessly and the stricture of the pantoum is well met. The 'th' and 't' sounds predominate, for ex:
"TH at drif Ts, like wrai THs, To where TH e seabirds fly
Deserves a 6 but alas I'm out.
Regards:
Comment Written 14-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2013
-
Bless you for your attention to the music of poetry Stephen - nothing escapes you, does it!? So glad you enjoyed this one - I had fun 'composing' it!
:)Sharyn
-
Dear Sharyn: Thanks. My America series is doing well. Just posted 2 more poems.
XXOO Steve
Comment from kenni
I thought I'd read the best love poem yesterday, but now I've read another best today. I love this, the way its crafted, the language depicting mood uses some great words and imagery. A skillful application of the craft, too, another love, I see.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2013
|
I thought I'd read the best love poem yesterday, but now I've read another best today. I love this, the way its crafted, the language depicting mood uses some great words and imagery. A skillful application of the craft, too, another love, I see.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2013
-
Well I'm happy to have expanded your horizons by another one kenni! Thank you so much for reading & enjoying!
:)Sharyn
Comment from tfawcus
Damn! I gave away my last 6-star rating just a few minutes ago! This is a lovely pantoum, so artfully contrived that the repetitions flow seamlessly as an integral part of the poem. Your description of the tendrils of rain and the lacy drifting mist transported me with a delicious shiver to the winter shoreline! What a delightful picture you conjure up both with that and with the intimacy of shelter from it. Who indeed knows what lies ahead? That line is always blurred. I despair of ever writing a pantoum half as good as this one! You have set a standard!
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2013
|
Damn! I gave away my last 6-star rating just a few minutes ago! This is a lovely pantoum, so artfully contrived that the repetitions flow seamlessly as an integral part of the poem. Your description of the tendrils of rain and the lacy drifting mist transported me with a delicious shiver to the winter shoreline! What a delightful picture you conjure up both with that and with the intimacy of shelter from it. Who indeed knows what lies ahead? That line is always blurred. I despair of ever writing a pantoum half as good as this one! You have set a standard!
Comment Written 14-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2013
-
Well damn! I should have posted it earlier! I knew you'd like this one my dear! (and therefore, glad you did!) It was fun to write.
:)Sharyn
Comment from Dawn Munro
>>>Ahhhh...so beautiful...."The wind is bending grasses t'wards the earth..." This pantoum is full of such 'mood', and wonderfully romantic. Gorgeous imagery, and elegant word choices and phrases = '...the rain creeps in, like tendrils up the hill...', '...stirring gauzy curtains...', "...wreaths of winter's breath...'.
Fabulous presentation too - OUTSTANDING!
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2013
|
>>>Ahhhh...so beautiful...."The wind is bending grasses t'wards the earth..." This pantoum is full of such 'mood', and wonderfully romantic. Gorgeous imagery, and elegant word choices and phrases = '...the rain creeps in, like tendrils up the hill...', '...stirring gauzy curtains...', "...wreaths of winter's breath...'.
Fabulous presentation too - OUTSTANDING!
Comment Written 14-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2013
-
oh yummy - thank you so much for the big thumbs up on this one Dawn!
:)S
-
My pleasure. :)
Comment from Paul Sienicki
"The line is blurred between the sea and sky."
This line, I think epitomises your poem succinctly and adequately. Love is the thing that has to be taken and given in the presence of all the unknowns and vague truths and appearance we are facing everyday. Thank you for sharing it.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2013
|
"The line is blurred between the sea and sky."
This line, I think epitomises your poem succinctly and adequately. Love is the thing that has to be taken and given in the presence of all the unknowns and vague truths and appearance we are facing everyday. Thank you for sharing it.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2013
-
Thank you so much Paul!
:)Sharyn
