Reviews from

Mango and Bert

A children's story

23 total reviews 
Comment from Connie C
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What a great story for young children to read or hear. And I like that it has a moral at the end, namely that they shouldn't go anywhere alone. I am a big lover of dogs, so this one really touched me. I truly enjoyed reading this, John, and wish I had a sixer left for the week to award this. Please accept my virtual six rating.
Connie

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 06-Nov-2013
    Connie, the virtual six goes a long way with me. I always appreciate your reviews. Thank you, John
Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens
Excellent
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I like the moral of the story... never go anywhere alone. There might not be a good Bert out in the night to rescue you and get you home safely. I enjoyed this story as usual John, (now on to WS, oh well, somebody has to win and it just wasn't us this year. Maybe next year we will see each other) Take care, Well done, Carolyn

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 06-Nov-2013
    Thank you Carolyn for reading and sharing your encouraging comments. This is what I enjoy writing, not the Halloween gory story.
    Lets book our tickets for next years World Series... I believe the Yankees will make some major moves... John
reply by Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens on 06-Nov-2013
    Thumbs up on the tickets..... I couldn't even think of a scary story for Halloween, there is too much reality out there that can scare us to death. Have a great day, I will be rooting for the Yankees and the Cards, who knows who will be on the team next year. We may have your players and you may have ours. :-) Love, Carolyn
Comment from Rosalyne
Excellent
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Hi John,
This is such a wonderful story for young children. I really liked the line, "Whoever was "it" had clear instructions never to tag Gertrude Goose. She just couldn't waddle fast enough to tag anyone else." This had me laughing. The dogs chosen for your story are great. I had a Newfoundlander, black and white,(Landseer) that was about the size of the St. Bernard in the picture. Her name was Paddy, the most loveable gentle giant. Your story brought back many fond memories.
Bye
Rosalyne :)

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 06-Nov-2013
    I'm glad you enjoyed the story and the memories it brought back. That sentence, portion to the story was a last minute addition. I'm glad it worked. We had a Beagle, she was over 16 when we put her to sleep one year ago. Great dog. Still have Chloe, our Brittany spaniel.
    Again, thank you. John
Comment from Val Crisson
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Oh, John, I'm not sure if I'm giving you a six on writing skills or just the pure sweetness of this story. Well, you had me in tears and in my eyes that is worth a six. It is a good lesson, and in a gentle way. And yes, "young children should never go anywhere alone." Should we always have "Berts" in our lives.

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 06-Nov-2013
    Val, by far this is one of my best reviews, ever! Thank you so much. I could name a few "Bert's" on this site as well.
    Thank you one more time.,, John
Comment from Evelyn Fort Stewart
Excellent
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This is a very cute story and one children should definitely enjoy reading and sharing. I've never tried my hand at fiction. Good job. God loves you and so do I/

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 06-Nov-2013
    Thank you Evelyn. I appreciate your time. John
Comment from allborn66
Excellent
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This is an interesting story. It is a light-hearted way to communicate your message. I do think that St. Bernards weight more than 100 lbs though. My mastiff was 150 lbs.
Barbara

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 06-Nov-2013
    Hi Barbara... I used Wikipedia to get the weight range. I guess I could go somewhat higher.
    Thank you for reading and reviewing. John
Comment from w.j.debi
Excellent
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Delightful story with fun images and cute names for all the animal friends. Even the ranger has a name that children will find easy to remember. Good message to always have a parent or friend go with you. Excellent job with the dialog and descriptions at a child's level.

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 06-Nov-2013
    Thank you so much for your time and the great review. I appreciate it very much. John
Comment from cinderbella
Excellent
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I love this little children's story, and I am sure that children will delight in it. It has everything children love, animals and games and short crisp sentences. The moral to the story is a good one. Well done. :) Sandra

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 05-Nov-2013
    Wow! Awesome review!! Thank you, Sandra. Always appreciated. John
Comment from Sasha
Excellent
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This is a fun and delightful children's story with an important message too. I enjoyed the descriptions of all the animals and their names are a hoot. I found this a lot of fun to read and I am not even a kid.

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 05-Nov-2013
    Aren't we all kids?
    Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I appreciate it very much.
    John
Comment from MarjorieAnne
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Yes, I think this will appeal to children (maybe ages 3-7) and their parents. The characters, setting, plot, emotions and dialogue are lively and authentic. I suggest not using "would" in the first part, but use present tense instead. For example, she leaves rather than she would leave. Several paragraphs need to be combined, such as 4, 5 and 6. "Disappointed" is misspelled. Use quotes or italics but not both on same words.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 05-Nov-2013
    Thank you Marjorie for the review. I appreciate the suggestions and corrections as well as your time. John
reply by MarjorieAnne on 06-Nov-2013
    You're welcome