Pantoum Collection
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Lost for Words"Poems written using the pantoum form
38 total reviews
Comment from allborn66
This is a wonderful piece. The form enhances the poem. You communicate your theme well. The word choice creates a stunning mental image.
Barbara
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2013
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This is a wonderful piece. The form enhances the poem. You communicate your theme well. The word choice creates a stunning mental image.
Barbara
Comment Written 28-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much for this lovely review, Barbara! Very much appreciated!
Comment from Louise Michelle
You really pulled this off nicely. I wasn't sure, but after I read your notes I realized I guessed right about the meaning. Very nicely done. Hugs, Lou
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2013
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You really pulled this off nicely. I wasn't sure, but after I read your notes I realized I guessed right about the meaning. Very nicely done. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 28-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much for this lovely review, Lou! Very much appreciated!
Comment from Selina Stambi
tf, you are a very talented poet.
Your style has grown more polished in the short time you've been here.
There's flair, sophistication and dexterity in your lines.
You are right, this IS the perfect form for the sad, sad topic.
Beautifully done!
Sonali
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2013
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tf, you are a very talented poet.
Your style has grown more polished in the short time you've been here.
There's flair, sophistication and dexterity in your lines.
You are right, this IS the perfect form for the sad, sad topic.
Beautifully done!
Sonali
Comment Written 28-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much for this lovely review, Sonali! Very much appreciated! The FanStory support network is motivating and I'm learning heaps from reviewing the work of other poets.
Comment from emrpoems
Captivatingly paired picture and poem. This picture displays the imagery of one's concept of the mind that is demented.
A perfectly written Pantoum with repeating lines throughout. The 2nd and 4th lines of each stanza are repeated as the 1st and 3rd lines of the next. Additionally, to complete the circularity, the 3rd and 1st lines of the poem become, respectively, the 2nd and 4th lines of the last stanza.
Also it is written quatrains with the abab rhyme
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2013
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Captivatingly paired picture and poem. This picture displays the imagery of one's concept of the mind that is demented.
A perfectly written Pantoum with repeating lines throughout. The 2nd and 4th lines of each stanza are repeated as the 1st and 3rd lines of the next. Additionally, to complete the circularity, the 3rd and 1st lines of the poem become, respectively, the 2nd and 4th lines of the last stanza.
Also it is written quatrains with the abab rhyme
Comment Written 28-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much for your review, EMR! Very much appreciated!
Comment from brentman99
A very nice poem with an interesting picture. My personal opinion, but I think a picture of an aged person, rather than a painting/drawing of one, may make your statement even more effective. Of course, yours works, but I think that would put it even higher.
Despite a challenging format, you make it look easy. Thanks for sharing, Brent.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2013
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A very nice poem with an interesting picture. My personal opinion, but I think a picture of an aged person, rather than a painting/drawing of one, may make your statement even more effective. Of course, yours works, but I think that would put it even higher.
Despite a challenging format, you make it look easy. Thanks for sharing, Brent.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much for your review, Brent! Very much appreciated! I rather agree about the picture - it was the best I could find on FanBookStory at short notice!
Comment from Hawaiian Mermaid
Aloha tfawcus,
I like the repeating words as it goes so well with the poem, and how it goes with one that has a few years on them. It still flows with interest and fun.
Have a blessed day.
Aloha, Ginger
Hawaiian Mermaid
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2013
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Aloha tfawcus,
I like the repeating words as it goes so well with the poem, and how it goes with one that has a few years on them. It still flows with interest and fun.
Have a blessed day.
Aloha, Ginger
Hawaiian Mermaid
Comment Written 28-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much for this lovely review, Ginger! Very much appreciated!
Comment from cinderbella
This poem speaks to me. My dad died last year from Parkinson's and dementia. He was 82, but there was so much of him that was lost to us long before he left this world.
I love that style of poetry, the rhythm, rhyme, repetition all create a wonderful flow. Excellent. :) Sandra
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2013
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This poem speaks to me. My dad died last year from Parkinson's and dementia. He was 82, but there was so much of him that was lost to us long before he left this world.
I love that style of poetry, the rhythm, rhyme, repetition all create a wonderful flow. Excellent. :) Sandra
Comment Written 28-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much for this lovely review, Sandra! Very much appreciated! I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. That gradual deterioration in his health and mental facility must have been devastatingly hard for you.
Comment from patsypats
Good work, kind of lost for words myself. Good use of rhyming and nice smooth flow, easy to follow. I really have no corrections or suggestions, nice write:)
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2013
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Good work, kind of lost for words myself. Good use of rhyming and nice smooth flow, easy to follow. I really have no corrections or suggestions, nice write:)
Comment Written 28-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much for this lovely review, Patsypats! Very much appreciated!
Comment from Matoshka
A wonderful poem describing all the signs and feeling of this disease. My Mother-In -Law in the last stages of this disease. I always pray that wherever they are in their mind is a good place. wonderful write, my friend. Blessings
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2013
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A wonderful poem describing all the signs and feeling of this disease. My Mother-In -Law in the last stages of this disease. I always pray that wherever they are in their mind is a good place. wonderful write, my friend. Blessings
Comment Written 28-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much for this lovely review, Matoshka! Very much appreciated, as is your 6-star rating! I'm so sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. The gradual deterioration in her health and mental facility must be devastatingly hard for you.
Comment from Righteous Riter
This piece meets the criteria of the pantoum piece. Good use of the abab rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming. Good simile use with like a flock of birds...like ancient leaves that fall from tress. Good alliteration and description that paints a clear picture in my mind. Eye catching photo and a message that holds my attention from start to finish.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2013
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This piece meets the criteria of the pantoum piece. Good use of the abab rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming. Good simile use with like a flock of birds...like ancient leaves that fall from tress. Good alliteration and description that paints a clear picture in my mind. Eye catching photo and a message that holds my attention from start to finish.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2013
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Thanks, Righteous Riter, for your kind and constructive review. I appreciate your thoughts and analysis.
