Pantoum Collection
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "The Boobook Owl"Poems written using the pantoum form
117 total reviews
Comment from JonnyRhymes
I like the form of this poem very much indeed, and your strong descriptive language and creative rhyming makes it an enjoyable read. Great accompanying picture too, well done!
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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I like the form of this poem very much indeed, and your strong descriptive language and creative rhyming makes it an enjoyable read. Great accompanying picture too, well done!
Comment Written 19-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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Many thanks for your kind review, Jonny. Much appreciated!
Comment from GBTEXT
This poem goes artistic,viewing the 'Boobook owl' in her 'shadowed silver silhouette'.It sees 'her talons piercing death's small cry'.It is unique for its rather uncommon use of repetition, coupled with seeming allegorical purport.Its quality is reserved in its strange form and message.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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This poem goes artistic,viewing the 'Boobook owl' in her 'shadowed silver silhouette'.It sees 'her talons piercing death's small cry'.It is unique for its rather uncommon use of repetition, coupled with seeming allegorical purport.Its quality is reserved in its strange form and message.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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Many thanks for your kind review, GBTEXT. Much appreciated!
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
What a clever and perfectly structured pantoum poem.
A great subject choice and a lovely presentation and picture.
Very effective use of alliteration in -silver silhouette,swaying sedge.
Your poem shows a very close study or observation of this deft bird of prey.
Sorry I don't have a six.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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What a clever and perfectly structured pantoum poem.
A great subject choice and a lovely presentation and picture.
Very effective use of alliteration in -silver silhouette,swaying sedge.
Your poem shows a very close study or observation of this deft bird of prey.
Sorry I don't have a six.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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Many thanks for your detailed and well-considered comments and your kind review, Sekeri58. Much appreciated!
Comment from Laurie Keim
Hi.
A pantoum like a villanelle require a certain subtle sense of sentence structure to create something that doesn't look and sound like an experiment.
This is a beautiful poem where the form merges with statement. Your use of "ghost gum" gets the most out of the Australian idiom, something I try to do all the time. "Eucalypt" for example I find is a wonderful iambic.
The following is closely observed and heard: she gives off a type of whistle, doesn't she, along with her characteristic call.
" her shadowed silver silhouette
suggested in the ghost gum tree,
her whisper close to flight and yet"
The rhyme throughout is very soothing and I can't help thinking that on the fourth read, the cadence (created by repetition) adds to a studied feel to the poem. The eye, like the repeated line, falls across the bird again and again.
I saw one recently at eleven o'clock in the morning, seize a figbird on the wing and then spiral down, crashing into a tree at the back. She then torn the bird slowly to pieces. Extraordinary.
Fine poem on a great bird.
Cheers, Laurie Keim
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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Hi.
A pantoum like a villanelle require a certain subtle sense of sentence structure to create something that doesn't look and sound like an experiment.
This is a beautiful poem where the form merges with statement. Your use of "ghost gum" gets the most out of the Australian idiom, something I try to do all the time. "Eucalypt" for example I find is a wonderful iambic.
The following is closely observed and heard: she gives off a type of whistle, doesn't she, along with her characteristic call.
" her shadowed silver silhouette
suggested in the ghost gum tree,
her whisper close to flight and yet"
The rhyme throughout is very soothing and I can't help thinking that on the fourth read, the cadence (created by repetition) adds to a studied feel to the poem. The eye, like the repeated line, falls across the bird again and again.
I saw one recently at eleven o'clock in the morning, seize a figbird on the wing and then spiral down, crashing into a tree at the back. She then torn the bird slowly to pieces. Extraordinary.
Fine poem on a great bird.
Cheers, Laurie Keim
Comment Written 19-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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Hi Laurie, I appreciate your detailed and comprehensive review of my poem, your impressions of it and your generous six-star rating. The particular bird I was writing about was a regular visitor! There was a dead gum tree just outside my kitchen window and the bird was beautifully silhouetted in the moonlight. I think she used to feed mainly on the frogs as the water meadow began to dry out, but I also saw her take a large moth in mid-flight once, probably a Hawkshead attracted to the house lights. As you say, a sudden swoop and then a spiral. Quite spectacular!
Comment from reconciled
Hello there....-smile- I love watching wild life....live...its fascinating. Exceptional read....alright....love Michael
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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Hello there....-smile- I love watching wild life....live...its fascinating. Exceptional read....alright....love Michael
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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Many thanks for your review, Michael. Much appreciated.
Comment from annatberry
Well done!!! I liked your poem and the writing was very passionate and had great feeling. You did a wonderful job displaying the picture of the Owl. It was amazing!!!
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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Well done!!! I liked your poem and the writing was very passionate and had great feeling. You did a wonderful job displaying the picture of the Owl. It was amazing!!!
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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Many thanks for your review, Anna. Much appreciated.
Comment from Thatguypk
I think I have also read the Pantoums by Cookie, Denhagan and Adewpearl that inspired you to have a stab at this poetic form. I have to say, you have followed their example with a high level of success. This is a great poem.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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I think I have also read the Pantoums by Cookie, Denhagan and Adewpearl that inspired you to have a stab at this poetic form. I have to say, you have followed their example with a high level of success. This is a great poem.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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Many thanks for your review and kind words, PK. Much appreciated.
Comment from kiwisteveh
I would say this is a near perfect example of the pantoum - the repeating lines do indeed shift in their meaning - the most difficult aspect of this form, I know, thanks to your clever references to both hunter and prey.
As well, you choose a great subject, your enjambment flows across the stanza breaks and the meter and rhyme remain strong.
Sorry, no six stars left to award this marvellous verse.
Steve
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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I would say this is a near perfect example of the pantoum - the repeating lines do indeed shift in their meaning - the most difficult aspect of this form, I know, thanks to your clever references to both hunter and prey.
As well, you choose a great subject, your enjambment flows across the stanza breaks and the meter and rhyme remain strong.
Sorry, no six stars left to award this marvellous verse.
Steve
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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Thanks, Steve, for another most encouraging review and the virtual six! I shall have to post earlier in the week next time!
Comment from emjaihammond
I loved the form used in this poem. I believe I saw it used by Brooke. There is something both eerie and beautiful about this owl. Nature is that way. Really a wonderful read.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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I loved the form used in this poem. I believe I saw it used by Brooke. There is something both eerie and beautiful about this owl. Nature is that way. Really a wonderful read.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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Many thanks MJH for your encouragement. As you say, owls are birds of great beauty!
Comment from barleygirl
Pretty much hate poetic formats with many repetitive lines. It's like a lot of reading with no extra meaning, plus it's very distracting to the flow & meaning. With that said, your poem is very well done, in spite of this worthless & annoying format choice. Your imagery is very vivid & enjoyable. I love the way it tells a little story about this creature, bringing her very much alive & almost palpable. I also love the choice of this creature, being unique & interesting, as the topic of you poem. Great job.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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Pretty much hate poetic formats with many repetitive lines. It's like a lot of reading with no extra meaning, plus it's very distracting to the flow & meaning. With that said, your poem is very well done, in spite of this worthless & annoying format choice. Your imagery is very vivid & enjoyable. I love the way it tells a little story about this creature, bringing her very much alive & almost palpable. I also love the choice of this creature, being unique & interesting, as the topic of you poem. Great job.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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Sorry about the form, Barleygirl! I just had to try it! Glad that something of the storyline got past the boring repetition!
