Comment from june prescott

Excellent

This is a very fun read about the malfunction of appliances that were made to make our lives easier. The flow and rhythm are great. My favorite line "my Kindle's reading porn." LOL Thanks for bringing a smile! ~JP

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2013

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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013

Thanks, June - turns out it was 'Fifty Shades of Grey'....

Steve

reply by june prescott on 14-Oct-2013

LOL... I'm waiting for the sequel "60 Shades..." :) Cheers, JP

Comment from pipersfancy

Exceptional

Brilliant! I love how you've gently reminded us (more like, bonked us over our heads!) of just how dependent we have become on all of our gadgets and electronics etc... (yet, amidst the chaos... I sense that great-grandma's wash board still works just fine... thank you kindly!)

PF

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2013

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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013

Thanks, PF.

We oldies can laugh at the new generation and their gadgets, but I fear we are pretty dependent on some of them too.

Steve

Comment from Leineco

Excellent

LMAO.....
It seems the world of technology has risen up to claim
it just doesn't like its life of slavery - Your needs and wants be damned!
A beach head has been established, there in your domain
the rest of us had best beware...infection soon will spread.
I think I'll go unplug everything
to stave off this uprising!

Really well done :-)

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2013

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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013

Thanks - you think that was an uprising. Try this poem by Peter Roche - I see I seem to have pinched one of his lines too!

Plug in, Turn on, Look out

Run for your lives, take to the hills,
The machines are on the march:
This morning my electric razor launched
A vicious and unwarranted attack on me-
It came at me, snarling through its
Thirtyfour rotary teeth and
Flicking its flexy tail
(Fortunately I fought it off
With my dad's old cutthroat).
Do not turn your back on toasters,
The machines are taking over:
The talking weighing machines at Waterloo
Told me today in no uncertain terms,
Where I could stick my threepence
I was trapped in the lift doors twice today,
Don't tell me it's coincidence;
So steer clear of vacuum cleaners, it's
The Mechanical Revolution:
I turned the telly on tonight and it
Turned itself off again ...
If necessary, we must resort to
Underhand tactics-
Keep your electric lawnmower securely tethered,
Cut down supplies of food to your refrigerator,
Kick your car at regular intervals
(That's why the Lord gave you legs).
And above all, don't let them find out
Who's winning . . .

Meanwhile, I intend to lead
A picked band of desperadoes
In a deathorglory attack
On the I.C.T. Computer Installation
(We must destroy
The brains behind this uprising).

Steve

Comment from Righteous Riter

Excellent

Humorous photo that compliments the piece well. Good use of the abcb rhyme scheme. Good simile usage with like a dozen of off key choirs. Good alliteration with of/off and much, much more. Good solid end rhyming, humorous message and best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2013

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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013

Thanks, RR

Glad you enjoyed this piece of silliness.

Steve

Comment from nannabot

Excellent

Hi Steve from Kiwi-land. Just when I thought I must be the only batty old biddy out there, your poem pops up on my radar here in England. Ok, so you're a Kiwi-fruit, then I thought, so what? You can get treatment for that if you want. I click 'READ'...
I was hit first by your cartoon. It matched perfectly with the theme of your poem, like a type of Kiwi clone of our English, 'Victor Meldrew' Is this your own work?
Next I read your poem, and I'm so glad I did. In all honesty, I laughed almost continuously.
You managed to capture the essence of man and machine, on their last dregs of life. It shows an underlying message that everything has a particular life cycle, but you mask it well behind humour. It has good rhythm and flows well. I loved it. Regards. xxx

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2013

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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013

Thanks, Nanna - do I see in your profile that you've been a member for three years but only just started posting?!

Thanks for the great review - no, my art skills are of the paint by numbers variety.

Hope both our life cycles haave a little further to run yet.

Steve

reply by nannabot on 15-Oct-2013

Hi Steve, you're very welcome. Yes, I have indeed been a member for 3 years. The reason for not posting was because I'd been busy co-writing our book, and after we self published I got heavily stuck into promoting it. I was then left without a writing project, until my lovely family members decided to buy me a subscription for my birthday last September. I'm so glad they did because I'm loving this site. Regards. xxx

Comment from s.m.kirby

Excellent

oh the wonderful life of all that high tech. This is a great poem I enjoyed reading it.liked the flow and rhyming of this good job.

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2013

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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013

Thank you!

Steve

Comment from Asyraf N. Jamsari

Excellent

A very good piece of writing. Interesting idea to come out with. You've got good sense of humor I shall say. Good choice of words and vocabulary. Thanks for sharing. Keep up the good work.

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2013

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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013

Thank you!

Steve

Comment from Donya Quijote

Excellent

Oh my! You poor dear to lose so many needed technological conveniences. This was a hoot to read and experiences of similar nature that so many of us have experienced at one time or another. Creative and enjoyable...

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2013

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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013

Thank you!

Steve

Comment from Millibrad

Excellent

This was thoroughly enjoyable. Thanks for posting it when my cable's on the blink. Great description of the washer wanting to leave the room. I think you may have a shot at this. Good luck.

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2013

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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013

Thank You!

Steve

Comment from Godspenswept

Excellent

Such a cool poem for this topic...so funny!

This made me look at washing machines in a new light...

(thumping like it wants to leave the room)

BIG SMILE...Very wonderful approach

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2013

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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013

Thank you!

Steve