My Erroneous Journey
how i came to join Fanstory32 total reviews
Comment from Dawn Munro
Rating of Chapter 2 - My Erroneous Journey ~~ Part 2
Oh James, I have tears in my eyes as I read this wonderful conclusion (though I have to admit, I want to smack you upside the head for not going to the doctor right away, that first night!!! I can well imagine how Jade feels!) I am going to make a few sexist remarks right now, but I do not give a tinker's damn because I find it to be true - you men have to "fix" everything! It's that attitude that causes so many difficulties - while we women love our men for being our "fixers" (heroes/knights) occasionally, we are stronger than you can imagine (think childbirth!). While you were trying to protect Jade, you might have lost her best friend! (you!) Women are afraid to complain to their men, too, because he will always try to "fix" the problem, while all she might want is to "air it out a little" - it's that "refreshing" of it, the clearing of cobwebs that sometimes helps her find her own solution and she WANTS to fix it herself most of the time!
So NEXT time you feel you want to be a big hero, think childbirth!!! Now do ONE THING for your good pal, Dawn = SHOW THIS REVIEW TO JADE!!! YA BUGGER! lol.
Loved, loved, loved this story, James, for all the right reasons, and there is SO very much to be learned from it. Well done, my talented knight. Here's a HUGE hug (and a smack upside the head!)**************************100 stars!
Love, Dawn XX
p.s. - I did not see this in my inbox, but then I am so far behind, it might be there and I just missed it. But it IS on your profile page, so you can send out a notice by PM announcing it, yes?
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
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Oh James, I have tears in my eyes as I read this wonderful conclusion (though I have to admit, I want to smack you upside the head for not going to the doctor right away, that first night!!! I can well imagine how Jade feels!) I am going to make a few sexist remarks right now, but I do not give a tinker's damn because I find it to be true - you men have to "fix" everything! It's that attitude that causes so many difficulties - while we women love our men for being our "fixers" (heroes/knights) occasionally, we are stronger than you can imagine (think childbirth!). While you were trying to protect Jade, you might have lost her best friend! (you!) Women are afraid to complain to their men, too, because he will always try to "fix" the problem, while all she might want is to "air it out a little" - it's that "refreshing" of it, the clearing of cobwebs that sometimes helps her find her own solution and she WANTS to fix it herself most of the time!
So NEXT time you feel you want to be a big hero, think childbirth!!! Now do ONE THING for your good pal, Dawn = SHOW THIS REVIEW TO JADE!!! YA BUGGER! lol.
Loved, loved, loved this story, James, for all the right reasons, and there is SO very much to be learned from it. Well done, my talented knight. Here's a HUGE hug (and a smack upside the head!)**************************100 stars!
Love, Dawn XX
p.s. - I did not see this in my inbox, but then I am so far behind, it might be there and I just missed it. But it IS on your profile page, so you can send out a notice by PM announcing it, yes?
Comment Written 10-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
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Hi Dawn,
firstly let me thank you my dear friend, for going through my portfolio to review this... You are a real gem. You know you are one of the writers on-site that has inspired me... mesmerized and amazed with such rich depth of talent.
I would like to go on about the sexist remark thing... Which incidentally, I think your 97% correct, but you gave me a great idea for a series of short stories... I'm not going to go into here, but, you know where I am... It could be interesting and beneficial at the same time... So thanks for that!
My heads still ringing from the hit and Maureen took care of the other side... Must be a Canadian thing?
And no I didn't show this to Jade... I read it to her.
Thank you with all that I am for this wonderful review... You are very appreciated sweet lady.
Kindest thoughts,
James xx
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It was my pleasure, James. All the way! Best of luck. :)
Comment from Gungalo
Rating of Chapter 2 - My Erroneous Journey ~~ Part 2
A really good story with a great outcome. JJ you are lucky to be here guy. What a time you had of it eh? Well you seem to be fine now. Stay out of trouble.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
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A really good story with a great outcome. JJ you are lucky to be here guy. What a time you had of it eh? Well you seem to be fine now. Stay out of trouble.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
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Hi G,
like I've said to all my friends/fans that went into my portfolio page to review this write, due to some kind of mishap, thank you! You've always been there, a great support... You were my second ever fan, so you know how much I have traveled within your magical words... That have allowed me to grow... Oh yeah, and you pulled me into line when the moment needed it... So know how much I appreciate you, and your shining talent.
Kindest thoughts,
James xx
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And I'll always be here too JJ.
Comment from tbacha58
Rating of Chapter 2 - My Erroneous Journey ~~ Part 2
Being adaptable to change is a valuable lesson.
Hi James, I enjoyed reading your past history, and you gave it all your best by writing the truth about your personnel adventures, the hard ones. You have gone through a lot, but as you said, you are here now, and no matter what results you will get from the reviewers, you must be persistent, and tenacious, never give up, make your dream, and fight to be fulfilled. Hugs Terry
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
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Being adaptable to change is a valuable lesson.
Hi James, I enjoyed reading your past history, and you gave it all your best by writing the truth about your personnel adventures, the hard ones. You have gone through a lot, but as you said, you are here now, and no matter what results you will get from the reviewers, you must be persistent, and tenacious, never give up, make your dream, and fight to be fulfilled. Hugs Terry
Comment Written 10-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
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Hi Terry,
my dear friend how can I thank you for such support? ... Only in the way I know how to... Through kind.
I appreciate you going in to my portfolio page to review this story due to the mishap I had with my deliveries of my second part of this story... Yeah, it a shame... But I'm going to try not to lose any sleep over the small stuff.
So, thank you so much for your wonderful review... You are a gem!
Kindest thoughts,
James xx
Comment from Spiritual Echo
Rating of Chapter 2 - My Erroneous Journey ~~ Part 2
No James, I didn't get notice of your post and that means that none of your fans did. Not sure why. I'll tell you the simplest way to add something to an original post (really just copy/paste) another time. It sounds like this all became horribly complicated. At any rate, it shows as a new post when I go to your portfolio, but I got no notice.
The way you've written this whole story, both parts, swims in sincerity and readers can't help but respond to your humility and appreciation for what you've got, been through and strive to become.
Your story is also a lesson to many when responding to a post. You never know what's going on in that person's life. Be gentle in your responses and accept responsibility for your words.
As much inspiration as you've gained, you are now passing it on thru this story.
You writing level has improved a hundred fold. There are still some nits and I'll point out the ones that are more obvious to me below.
Np,No, I would rather had just not woken up, than to have seen that look again. (BE CAREFUL USING PASSIVE VOICE--WORDS LIKE HAD AND BEEN. wORKS BETTER THIS WAY. No, I would rather never wake than to look once more....
Again, I didn't want to freak my wife out by having to travel the two hour round trip to see our G.P., but I did write to her via Email to let her know I had ingested chlorine and acid HERE IT IS UNCLEAR WHETHER YOU E-MAILED THE INFO TO YOUR WIFE-LOL- OR TO THE DOCTOR. BETTER THIS WAY....BUT I DID E-MAIL THE DOCTOR TO LET HER KNOW I INGESTED....
Instantly, I was taken by the energy of this site, if I did nothing else, I could read and learn new skills.
MADE THE CORRECTION BELOW
"You've written a few poems and I know you could write a good story, this will help you to take your mind off things," she said.
(DELETE THIS SENTENCE. IT IS CONFUSING AND ISN'T NEEDED I don't know what I've written, I don't even know what I'd call them, there only thoughts.)
Every day was a battle for her and, yet she had the brightest outlook on life. SENTENCE BREAK how could I not be inspired by Missy98. Sadly, Melissa is no longer with us, but her words and memory will never die.
Keep reading out loud. You have a habit of running a sentence too long. Don't be afraid to make two sentences out of one.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2013
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No James, I didn't get notice of your post and that means that none of your fans did. Not sure why. I'll tell you the simplest way to add something to an original post (really just copy/paste) another time. It sounds like this all became horribly complicated. At any rate, it shows as a new post when I go to your portfolio, but I got no notice.
The way you've written this whole story, both parts, swims in sincerity and readers can't help but respond to your humility and appreciation for what you've got, been through and strive to become.
Your story is also a lesson to many when responding to a post. You never know what's going on in that person's life. Be gentle in your responses and accept responsibility for your words.
As much inspiration as you've gained, you are now passing it on thru this story.
You writing level has improved a hundred fold. There are still some nits and I'll point out the ones that are more obvious to me below.
Np,No, I would rather had just not woken up, than to have seen that look again. (BE CAREFUL USING PASSIVE VOICE--WORDS LIKE HAD AND BEEN. wORKS BETTER THIS WAY. No, I would rather never wake than to look once more....
Again, I didn't want to freak my wife out by having to travel the two hour round trip to see our G.P., but I did write to her via Email to let her know I had ingested chlorine and acid HERE IT IS UNCLEAR WHETHER YOU E-MAILED THE INFO TO YOUR WIFE-LOL- OR TO THE DOCTOR. BETTER THIS WAY....BUT I DID E-MAIL THE DOCTOR TO LET HER KNOW I INGESTED....
Instantly, I was taken by the energy of this site, if I did nothing else, I could read and learn new skills.
MADE THE CORRECTION BELOW
"You've written a few poems and I know you could write a good story, this will help you to take your mind off things," she said.
(DELETE THIS SENTENCE. IT IS CONFUSING AND ISN'T NEEDED I don't know what I've written, I don't even know what I'd call them, there only thoughts.)
Every day was a battle for her and, yet she had the brightest outlook on life. SENTENCE BREAK how could I not be inspired by Missy98. Sadly, Melissa is no longer with us, but her words and memory will never die.
Keep reading out loud. You have a habit of running a sentence too long. Don't be afraid to make two sentences out of one.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2013
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Hi Ingrid,
thanks so much for taking a look at this, and giving me these corrections... I was starting to think it was that bad, that no one wanted to review it... Suppose there's nothing I can do about that now?
And I do mean, thank you for encouraging me to write, not only this story, but in general. I know it is because of you that I am improving.
Always grateful and you know you are always appreciated... Someone I am very proud to call... Friend!
Kindest thoughts,
James xx
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Well friend...try notifying Tom and saying that you did not get a fan release of your newest post. Tell him you specifically promoted this because so many people wanted to hear the rest of the story AND you bumped the member rewards high to get them the chance to earn points. As far as you understand...ladidah...this is what FS provides as a service and you would appreciate if FS could send out the notification.
Other than that, short of one-by-one notification...??? But if you can get 5 reviews you'll be back on the well received stories front page...so ask for them. You're not in a contest so there is nothing unethical about this.
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Thanks Ingrid,
but, yeah this is a non fiction contest entry... I notified Tom, but didn't lay it on like you, I wish I would have! No doubt there will be a re-bout when he replies. xx
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Part one is good enough to win on it's own, but here's what you need to do.
Leave the post the way it is for your readers.
You are allowed to edit all along so what I'm telling you is 'legal.'
Hopefully you have your two parts on a word document yes?
Assuming that's true. Open your FS post for part one. Put it on edit. Now it should all be in that box...right?
Open your part 2 document in word -on your computer. Choose select all. It should be highlighted. Hit copy. go back to your opened FS edit page (part one) and scroll down to the bottom. Then hit enter to create paragraph break. Then have cursor (icon) on the spot that would start new sentence. Hit paste. Part 2 should now be on the same FS post as Part 1
You should then label this Part 2 in the space between the two sequences.
Failing that....get both parts on one document in your word program. Go to FS story and delete everything in your story and then copy paste your new document onto the BLANK square. Know you're getting used to the computer, but this is really not that complicated.
-
Part one is good enough to win on it's own, but here's what you need to do.
Leave the post the way it is for your readers.
You are allowed to edit all along so what I'm telling you is 'legal.'
Hopefully you have your two parts on a word document yes?
Assuming that's true. Open your FS post for part one. Put it on edit. Now it should all be in that box...right?
Open your part 2 document in word -on your computer. Choose select all. It should be highlighted. Hit copy. go back to your opened FS edit page (part one) and scroll down to the bottom. Then hit enter to create paragraph break. Then have cursor (icon) on the spot that would start new sentence. Hit paste. Part 2 should now be on the same FS post as Part 1
You should then label this Part 2 in the space between the two sequences.
Failing that....get both parts on one document in your word program. Go to FS story and delete everything in your story and then copy paste your new document onto the BLANK square. Know you're getting used to the computer, but this is really not that complicated.
Comment from goompa
Rating of Chapter 2 - My Erroneous Journey ~~ Part 2
It's quite a story. I've read every word twice. So pleased you are getting better and that you found this site and the wonderfl people who reside here to help you through it all. Best to you and your sife and keep on keepin' on.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2013
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It's quite a story. I've read every word twice. So pleased you are getting better and that you found this site and the wonderfl people who reside here to help you through it all. Best to you and your sife and keep on keepin' on.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2013
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Hi Goompa,
thank you for your fine review and rating, most appreciated.
Kindest thoughts,
James
Comment from allborn66
Rating of Chapter 2 - My Erroneous Journey ~~ Part 2
This is a another wonderful chapter. I love your voice. I know that denial thing; I make every excuse possible to not go to the doctor.
Barbara
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2013
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This is a another wonderful chapter. I love your voice. I know that denial thing; I make every excuse possible to not go to the doctor.
Barbara
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2013
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Hi Barbara,
once again, thank you for another fine review on this story.
I appreciate your kind comments, and yeah I hate going to doctors.
Kindest thoughts,
James xx
Comment from Rondeno
Rating of Chapter 2 - My Erroneous Journey ~~ Part 2
You have an exceptional talent for writing prose. Your words flow naturally and easily. Just one small thing - the plate of cartilage at the top of the mouth is the "palate", rather than the "pallet".
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2013
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You have an exceptional talent for writing prose. Your words flow naturally and easily. Just one small thing - the plate of cartilage at the top of the mouth is the "palate", rather than the "pallet".
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2013
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Hi Rondeno,
thanks for the spelling catch, and another fine review, it is most appreciated.
Kindest thoughts,
James
Comment from allborn66
Rating of Chapter 1 - My Erroneous Journey ~~ Part 1
That sounds like some pretty scary stuff. I was never good at chemistry, I try to avoid it whenever possible.
The story has a great voice. I like your introduction, and the drama in your tale.
Barbara
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2013
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That sounds like some pretty scary stuff. I was never good at chemistry, I try to avoid it whenever possible.
The story has a great voice. I like your introduction, and the drama in your tale.
Barbara
Comment Written 09-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2013
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Hi Barbara,
thank you for the kind review and comments, most appreciated.
Kindest thoughts,
James xx
Comment from ravenblack
Rating of Chapter 1 - My Erroneous Journey ~~ Part 1
Man, you are lucky you are still alive. That would have been one hell of a blast not to mention the damage to your lungs from inhaling all that crap. I was with you in the chlorine clouds- very vivid telling. Looking forward to further instalments. Just one minor glitch - go back and fix your first sentence.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2013
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Man, you are lucky you are still alive. That would have been one hell of a blast not to mention the damage to your lungs from inhaling all that crap. I was with you in the chlorine clouds- very vivid telling. Looking forward to further instalments. Just one minor glitch - go back and fix your first sentence.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2013
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Hey Raven B,
thanks for your review, my friend... Still paying for the mishap. How long does this crap stay in your system? Apparently a long time!
What do see wrong with the first sentence? What am I missing?
Kindest thoughts,
James
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Sorry. The first sentence is fine. I just was not reading it right.
Comment from Selina Stambi
Rating of Chapter 1 - My Erroneous Journey ~~ Part 1
The way that change rules our life is truly an amazing phenomenon. It can fulfill our dreams or can rip them from our grasp in a single breath. ... these are very compelling introductory lines. They draw your reader in.
Hello Jumbo,
Long time no see! This was a most riveting first chapter. That was an amazing thing you did - foolish perhaps, but ... :)
Hope you are well, my friend. You are still on my daily prayer list. I promised several months ago .. remember?
Hope the rest of your week is wonderful.
Sonali
Spags:
the whole filter room (no hyphen required) was
without small gags in between(no hyphen required).
A fifteen minute job (ditto)
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2013
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The way that change rules our life is truly an amazing phenomenon. It can fulfill our dreams or can rip them from our grasp in a single breath. ... these are very compelling introductory lines. They draw your reader in.
Hello Jumbo,
Long time no see! This was a most riveting first chapter. That was an amazing thing you did - foolish perhaps, but ... :)
Hope you are well, my friend. You are still on my daily prayer list. I promised several months ago .. remember?
Hope the rest of your week is wonderful.
Sonali
Spags:
the whole filter room (no hyphen required) was
without small gags in between(no hyphen required).
A fifteen minute job (ditto)
Comment Written 08-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2013
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Hi Sonali,
thank you for your encouraging review and for picking up the spags... And how could I forget such a wonderful gesture... I'm sure you helped get me over the hump!
Hope your life is going well... Blessing's to you
Kindest thoughts,
James xx
