Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "Death of a Dream"A collection of my poems
62 total reviews
Comment from livelylinda
kiwisteveh, what a terrific story in a poem! I felt so sorry for the kid who was going to help his family but the end was painful. Good job writing this! livelylinda
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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kiwisteveh, what a terrific story in a poem! I felt so sorry for the kid who was going to help his family but the end was painful. Good job writing this! livelylinda
Comment Written 26-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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Linda, thanks for the kind review.
Steve
Comment from SteveY
Holy smoke what a story that you've written here my friend. How in the heck could you keep this one going on so long? Still I bought into every line. Amazing job.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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Holy smoke what a story that you've written here my friend. How in the heck could you keep this one going on so long? Still I bought into every line. Amazing job.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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Thanks, Steve
Steve
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Steve this was hilarious and I loved the colloquial
speech of the narrator. I believe your weta is known as a cricket in America. They are captured for fish bait and make for excellent fishing. They are sold by the dozen. LOL Good story. I for one believe it. Good luck in the contest. Nancy
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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Steve this was hilarious and I loved the colloquial
speech of the narrator. I believe your weta is known as a cricket in America. They are captured for fish bait and make for excellent fishing. They are sold by the dozen. LOL Good story. I for one believe it. Good luck in the contest. Nancy
Comment Written 26-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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Nancy, thanks for the kind words.
Nope, we have crickets too. Wetas are bigger with much larger back legs and longer feelers. Also they are brown like the colouring of a cockroach whereas most crickets are black.
Steve
Comment from jgirlie152
I'd very much like to give you six stars for this most interesting and well-written poem of the wetas. Although it was quite long, it was not boring at all and I enjoyed all of it. A bit tragic for the boy, but I can certainly understand the parents' reaction. Well done, loved it.
Joan
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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I'd very much like to give you six stars for this most interesting and well-written poem of the wetas. Although it was quite long, it was not boring at all and I enjoyed all of it. A bit tragic for the boy, but I can certainly understand the parents' reaction. Well done, loved it.
Joan
Comment Written 26-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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Joan, thanks so much for the generous review and the six shiny stars.
Steve
Comment from emjaihammond
Wow! And based on a true story, no matter how loosely, makes this wonderful and funny story all the better. I enjoyed reading about this insect I have never seen or even imagined. The scene with the parents and family discovering the escaped bus is very humorous. I thought this was excellent.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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Wow! And based on a true story, no matter how loosely, makes this wonderful and funny story all the better. I enjoyed reading about this insect I have never seen or even imagined. The scene with the parents and family discovering the escaped bus is very humorous. I thought this was excellent.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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Thanks so much, MJ.
Steve
Comment from Tessa Kay
Absolutely love this poem. So vivid and imaginative.
Love the pictures it puts in your mind.
First I thought, oh, such a long poem. But it's worth every word. Hope you'll do well with it in the competition.
:) Tessa
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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Absolutely love this poem. So vivid and imaginative.
Love the pictures it puts in your mind.
First I thought, oh, such a long poem. But it's worth every word. Hope you'll do well with it in the competition.
:) Tessa
Comment Written 26-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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Tessa, thanks so much for the generous review and the galaxy of stars.
Steve
Comment from Adri7enne
Whew! That is one ugly creature! A lot like a crab. I think shellfish are sea insects.
Darn! I was looking forward to the kid getting rich, too. Shame! LOL!
Great rhymes, as always and a nice, steady rhythm. It was a fun read. Good luck in the story, steveh!
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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Whew! That is one ugly creature! A lot like a crab. I think shellfish are sea insects.
Darn! I was looking forward to the kid getting rich, too. Shame! LOL!
Great rhymes, as always and a nice, steady rhythm. It was a fun read. Good luck in the story, steveh!
Comment Written 26-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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Yeah, still not rich. I have this new scheme now writing poetry and hoping to win prizes - how can that possibly go wrong?!
Steve
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Love, love, love it! Now that I have picked myself up off of the floor from laughing so hard, I can give you my review. :)
This was a delightfully entertaining read! Incredibly well thought out, written and presented! Most deserving of an 8, but I've only 5's left (darn!!). So many hilarious images created for your reader, I can't begin to name them all. Your use of colloquial speech just added that certain 'je ne sais quoi' to the write. Made it all the funnier! This one has got to win it! Loved the originality of it, and certainly appreciate all the work that went into coming up with such a fine poem.
Thank you so much for sharing. My morning couldn't be off to a better start. What better way to start my day than to laugh my head off.
Fantastic job ~ kiwisteveh
bichonfrisegirl aka Connie
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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Love, love, love it! Now that I have picked myself up off of the floor from laughing so hard, I can give you my review. :)
This was a delightfully entertaining read! Incredibly well thought out, written and presented! Most deserving of an 8, but I've only 5's left (darn!!). So many hilarious images created for your reader, I can't begin to name them all. Your use of colloquial speech just added that certain 'je ne sais quoi' to the write. Made it all the funnier! This one has got to win it! Loved the originality of it, and certainly appreciate all the work that went into coming up with such a fine poem.
Thank you so much for sharing. My morning couldn't be off to a better start. What better way to start my day than to laugh my head off.
Fantastic job ~ kiwisteveh
bichonfrisegirl aka Connie
Comment Written 26-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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Connie, thanks for the wonderful review and the virtual six. It is worth more to me to hear that you really got a good laugh out of the poem.
Steve
Comment from patsypats
This is quite the unique and creative subject to write about, but I must say you certainly mastered it! Very amusing read and your rhyming adds so much more character to your work. I have no suggestions for change, good job:))
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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This is quite the unique and creative subject to write about, but I must say you certainly mastered it! Very amusing read and your rhyming adds so much more character to your work. I have no suggestions for change, good job:))
Comment Written 26-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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Thanks, Patsy.
Steve
Comment from justmarly
Oh my I wouldn't want wetas inn my home. You sure did a great job on this poem. I also know what its like when I was young how my mom fought to bring us up the best she could. She owned a canteen and if not for her we may not had even a meal. Than k you for sharing your poem. JM
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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Oh my I wouldn't want wetas inn my home. You sure did a great job on this poem. I also know what its like when I was young how my mom fought to bring us up the best she could. She owned a canteen and if not for her we may not had even a meal. Than k you for sharing your poem. JM
Comment Written 26-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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Thanks, JM - glad you enjoyed.
Steve
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you are welcome. JM
