Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "Death of a Dream"A collection of my poems
62 total reviews
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
A great poem my friend. I actually learned something new today. I found out what a wetta was. I don't think we need any of them in America. We have enough bugs of our own.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2013
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A great poem my friend. I actually learned something new today. I found out what a wetta was. I don't think we need any of them in America. We have enough bugs of our own.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2013
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Thanks for the positive review.
We may have wetas but we don't have snakes, bears, tarantulas or cops who carry guns....
Steve
Comment from Bill Schott
Superbly done! This ridiculous tale had me enthralled from beginning to end. I found the alliteration, the funny yet germane rhyming, and the Dickensian, mirth-filled story that evolved from it all to be very entertaining.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2013
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Superbly done! This ridiculous tale had me enthralled from beginning to end. I found the alliteration, the funny yet germane rhyming, and the Dickensian, mirth-filled story that evolved from it all to be very entertaining.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2013
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Bill, thanks a lot for the kind review and the six words.
Steve
Comment from Sagnik Das
Hah! wayward whimsy of the finest sort I have perused. The way you aggrandize a mundane theme into a perfectly plotted story, deserves more than appraisal. Composed in elaborate Longfellow-styled anapaestic cadences, it indeed serves as being a 'prodigious' repository to your misadventures with the tree bug. I wager you shall win with this (should the headstrong committee intercept its impudence). Outstanding work.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2013
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Hah! wayward whimsy of the finest sort I have perused. The way you aggrandize a mundane theme into a perfectly plotted story, deserves more than appraisal. Composed in elaborate Longfellow-styled anapaestic cadences, it indeed serves as being a 'prodigious' repository to your misadventures with the tree bug. I wager you shall win with this (should the headstrong committee intercept its impudence). Outstanding work.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2013
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Thank you - glad you enjoyed the wayward whimsy. Let's hope the committee does as well.
Steve
Comment from rouskin
I wonder how you get inspiration to choose such a subject
from New Zealand.
"Very sad tale,
but thanks God the tourists
are still doing well."
Original theme with great picture.
Good luck.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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I wonder how you get inspiration to choose such a subject
from New Zealand.
"Very sad tale,
but thanks God the tourists
are still doing well."
Original theme with great picture.
Good luck.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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Thank you and welcome to FanStory.
Steve
Comment from Diny
Absolutely. Astonishing! The rhymes both internally and couplets were brollamt and I loved the dialogue GREAT! So many people here will not pause to read anything bordering on epic. Me I go for talent and you got that in spades! Write On! Diny
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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Absolutely. Astonishing! The rhymes both internally and couplets were brollamt and I loved the dialogue GREAT! So many people here will not pause to read anything bordering on epic. Me I go for talent and you got that in spades! Write On! Diny
Comment Written 28-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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Hi, Diny. Thanks for plunging in to this epic and coming out the other side smiling..... and for the six stars of course!
Steve
Comment from c_lucas
You should have had Weta insurance. This is very well written story/poem with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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You should have had Weta insurance. This is very well written story/poem with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Thanks, Charlie - I'm afraid weta insurance is very expensive ever since the Great Weta Bust of '39....
Steve
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LOL Good one. You are welcome, Steve. Charlie
Comment from Dean Kuch
Weta, weta everywhere--
see, there's one, just over there!
As mom and dad stand, mouths agape;
those daring weta made their escape!
Funny, witty and clever, these champion escape artists from the wonderful world of entomology look quite similar to our Phylum Porifera, more commonly known as green grasshoppers. Too bad everything went south on your protagonist, costing him ( or her ) thirty pounds. Ah well, weta luck next time, heh heh...
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Weta, weta everywhere--
see, there's one, just over there!
As mom and dad stand, mouths agape;
those daring weta made their escape!
Funny, witty and clever, these champion escape artists from the wonderful world of entomology look quite similar to our Phylum Porifera, more commonly known as green grasshoppers. Too bad everything went south on your protagonist, costing him ( or her ) thirty pounds. Ah well, weta luck next time, heh heh...
Comment Written 27-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Dean, thanks for your review and poetic response.
Steve
Comment from CrumpleStiltskin
Your style of writing and relaying your thoughts is very familiar to me. I enjoyed this story very much as it created a very fine visual in my mind with each stanza.
I also enjoyed the deliberate grammar to be portrayed from that of the young narrator, it kind of puts you in their shoes and into their mind.
Very well done, I enjoyed this very much, thank you for sharing it.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Your style of writing and relaying your thoughts is very familiar to me. I enjoyed this story very much as it created a very fine visual in my mind with each stanza.
I also enjoyed the deliberate grammar to be portrayed from that of the young narrator, it kind of puts you in their shoes and into their mind.
Very well done, I enjoyed this very much, thank you for sharing it.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Thank you, Mr Stiltskin - any luck with turning straw into gold these days?
I am a little curious why you gave me all favourable comments but only allotted 4 stars...
Steve
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My mistake kiwisteveh, This is my first day here and I did truly mean to give you a very high rating - thank you for pointing this out as I have gone back and corrected my rating for your awesome poem. I hope you have a great weekend and sorry again for the confusion - I'm still getting acclimated to this website.
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No problems - thanks for the upgrade and welcome to FanStory - hope to see some of your work soon!
Steve
Comment from Treischel
This was a very delightful and well written poem. Fabulous inline rhyming in conjunction with a classic aabb rhyme scheme and a consistent peppy tempo. Creative colorful imagery throughout. I was delighted by the story and every creative stanza you wrote. Wish I had a six to give. You deserve a six.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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This was a very delightful and well written poem. Fabulous inline rhyming in conjunction with a classic aabb rhyme scheme and a consistent peppy tempo. Creative colorful imagery throughout. I was delighted by the story and every creative stanza you wrote. Wish I had a six to give. You deserve a six.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Thanks for the kind words and the virtual six - glad you enjoyed....
Steve
Comment from ELumpkins
Good post. The weta sounds a lot like our ant, only larger. The piece is well written and a pleasure to read. It is so realistic that I would stop now and then to check my seat for the weta. This entry should win any contest you are entered into. Great work
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Good post. The weta sounds a lot like our ant, only larger. The piece is well written and a pleasure to read. It is so realistic that I would stop now and then to check my seat for the weta. This entry should win any contest you are entered into. Great work
Comment Written 27-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Thank you - more like a grasshopper on steroids than an ant!
Steve
