Another sonnet - Aussie Style
The iambic pentameter conquered!42 total reviews
Comment from onkughosh19
A sonnet with an element of fun.LIke the way you begin this write "oh,strewth! our sonnet lacked iambic form....THe ending is hilarious "I think we've got the scansion right,mein gott/ By now the sodding rhyme's all gone to pot!"
For a change something writen in a lighter vein, is a welcome relief.Very well written....with good rhyming,an apt title and a good picture.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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A sonnet with an element of fun.LIke the way you begin this write "oh,strewth! our sonnet lacked iambic form....THe ending is hilarious "I think we've got the scansion right,mein gott/ By now the sodding rhyme's all gone to pot!"
For a change something writen in a lighter vein, is a welcome relief.Very well written....with good rhyming,an apt title and a good picture.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Thank you for your kind words! This was a follow-up to an earlier poem written quite recently, in answer to my critics who lamented the lack of iambic rhythm!
Comment from MM lives on :)
tfawcus :) what a fun read this was and a sonnet none the less. I loved the playful use of wording throughout. You indeed gave me a few laughs this morning. Thank for the notes and for the read.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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tfawcus :) what a fun read this was and a sonnet none the less. I loved the playful use of wording throughout. You indeed gave me a few laughs this morning. Thank for the notes and for the read.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Thank you kind sir. Christopher from the North Pole - hmmm - I would never have guessed that Father Christmas was a closet poet writing under a pseudonym.
Comment from Domino 2
This is a top sonnet in both rhyme and iambic pentameter.
Sure no probs in near rhymes as far as I'm concerned - I often use them rather than perfect rhymes if I can't find an un-forced perfect one to fit.
It's very rarely I've read humour in a sonnet, but it works perfectly for the theme here.
You're obviously a very gifted sonneteer, and it's a rarity to even read top meter on here in rhyme and structured verse, which I think elevates a read of that type incredibly.
Cheers, Ted
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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This is a top sonnet in both rhyme and iambic pentameter.
Sure no probs in near rhymes as far as I'm concerned - I often use them rather than perfect rhymes if I can't find an un-forced perfect one to fit.
It's very rarely I've read humour in a sonnet, but it works perfectly for the theme here.
You're obviously a very gifted sonneteer, and it's a rarity to even read top meter on here in rhyme and structured verse, which I think elevates a read of that type incredibly.
Cheers, Ted
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Thanks for the compliments, Ted. I enjoy the challenge of speaking naturally through the sonnet. It is so easy to fall back on the feeble excuse of being 'poetic' to excuse convolute word order and excruciating misuse of words for the sake of a rhyme.
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I find forced rhymes extremely irritating.
Mind you, I do very occasionally use reverse syntax in sonnets and I admit to being a bit old-fashioned about them and the language, atmosphere I often incorporate.
What's this? - An Aussie who 'speaks naturally'? I thought you lot were all fairies...yer, right! LOL.
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Not a dinkie-die Aussie, I'm afraid - just a migratory Pom - though I've been here enough years to soak up the atmosphere!
Comment from visionary1234
well BLOODY hell, I may just have to fan you after this one - or maybe Geoff. Who's the brains behind this operation dear? I saw you took my 'whining' to heart and went on the search for some iambic pentameter - thank GOD you FOUND it! Please congratulate Geoff and tell him 'bravo' for putting up with that idiot, Tony, okay?
:)Sharyn
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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well BLOODY hell, I may just have to fan you after this one - or maybe Geoff. Who's the brains behind this operation dear? I saw you took my 'whining' to heart and went on the search for some iambic pentameter - thank GOD you FOUND it! Please congratulate Geoff and tell him 'bravo' for putting up with that idiot, Tony, okay?
:)Sharyn
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Wow, Sharon a SIX! That bastard Geoff has a big enough head already. Now there'll be no holding him back! What with him and Norm, I'm beginning to feel outnumbered! Next thing will be they'll start knocking on the door and demanding to be let in to FanBook in their own right.
Comment from c_lucas
The perfectionists will bring you down every time. I wondered if Shakespeare wrote with ease, or did he struggle with woes of Iambic Pentameter. Enjoyed your poem.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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The perfectionists will bring you down every time. I wondered if Shakespeare wrote with ease, or did he struggle with woes of Iambic Pentameter. Enjoyed your poem.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Ah, but if it weren't for the perfectionists there would be no-one for us mere mortals to poke our fun at!
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I prefer poison darts, myself.
Comment from pickthorn
A humerous poem but a bit too Aussie for me. It's like another language but very colorful and interesting. Very bloody good. Oh, I believe that phrase is British. Sorry mate.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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A humerous poem but a bit too Aussie for me. It's like another language but very colorful and interesting. Very bloody good. Oh, I believe that phrase is British. Sorry mate.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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British is OK by me. I was in the RAF for sixteen years before migrating to Australia. It took me a while to acquire the lingo here. Initially when I exchanged the usual greeting here of 'G'day, mate" I felt certain that someone was going to slug me one between the eyes for taking the mickey.
Comment from emjaihammond
Fun and fantastic! Thank you for providing
those author's notes. I was a little bit lost
before reading them the first time round, but still
thought it was a hoot! That's American Midwestern
for great fun! Loved the humor, thanks for the
laugh.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Fun and fantastic! Thank you for providing
those author's notes. I was a little bit lost
before reading them the first time round, but still
thought it was a hoot! That's American Midwestern
for great fun! Loved the humor, thanks for the
laugh.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Thanks for the great review MJH!
Comment from Cry the Vile Rebel
Your poem and author notes make me "laff", which, to my ear does indeed rhyme with "gaff", Athough THAT word ("gaff") is not in my everyday vocabulary. Anyway, fine work. You and Geoff deserve some of that fine Barrossa Valley wine for your efforts here ; )
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Your poem and author notes make me "laff", which, to my ear does indeed rhyme with "gaff", Athough THAT word ("gaff") is not in my everyday vocabulary. Anyway, fine work. You and Geoff deserve some of that fine Barrossa Valley wine for your efforts here ; )
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Thanks, Cry the Vile Rebel! Geoff and I might just take you up on that suggestion!
Comment from Hawaiian Mermaid
Aloha from Hawaii tfawcus,
I like your poem a lot. The humor is fantastic. Thanks for explaining the words...keep them coming.
Aloha, Ginger
Hawaiian Mermaid
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Aloha from Hawaii tfawcus,
I like your poem a lot. The humor is fantastic. Thanks for explaining the words...keep them coming.
Aloha, Ginger
Hawaiian Mermaid
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Dear Hawaiian Mermaid, siren of the deep - you beguile me with your bewitching and star-studded review! Welcome to our small but elite fan club, Ginger!
Comment from Evelyn Fort Stewart
We're sure glad you wrote you authors notes because we would have been more than lost in the fact that we are Americans. We thinks it's awesome to learn new things and sayings of other nationalities. We don't review on poetic style, we're not poets so we best leave well enough alone. God loves you and we do too. Tag temaing a bit.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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We're sure glad you wrote you authors notes because we would have been more than lost in the fact that we are Americans. We thinks it's awesome to learn new things and sayings of other nationalities. We don't review on poetic style, we're not poets so we best leave well enough alone. God loves you and we do too. Tag temaing a bit.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Thanks, Evelyn! You are full of wisdom. Reviewing poetry is a mug's game! All good poetry comes from the heart and leaves the door open. When criticism flies in, it wounds deeply. Fortunately, however, I write mainly bad poems and have a thick skin. I'm very wary of criticising the poetry of others though!
