Pale Sisters
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Chiffon"Science fiction.
17 total reviews
Comment from nomi338
This clearly illustrates the importance of having and maintain close ties with those who are capable and willing to go that extra mile with and for you. Even though his friend had slept with his wife, he did not let that get in the way of helping his to dispose of a potential problem.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
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This clearly illustrates the importance of having and maintain close ties with those who are capable and willing to go that extra mile with and for you. Even though his friend had slept with his wife, he did not let that get in the way of helping his to dispose of a potential problem.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
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With friends like Raleigh Sabre .........
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Ending lends to much more to come.
"Nothing." tends to indicate that it may not all be good.
Always keep your readers in suspense.
That way they will keep returning.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
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Ending lends to much more to come.
"Nothing." tends to indicate that it may not all be good.
Always keep your readers in suspense.
That way they will keep returning.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
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Hope to readers interested. Thanks for reviewing. Bill
Comment from Ulla
Hi Bill, well, at least she had her orgasm before she was sent to her final demise. I like the story a lot, and I'm looking forward to reading on. If I may say something. It's very telling. I would like to see some showing. All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
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Hi Bill, well, at least she had her orgasm before she was sent to her final demise. I like the story a lot, and I'm looking forward to reading on. If I may say something. It's very telling. I would like to see some showing. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 11-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
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With friends like Raleigh Sabre .........
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hi Bill. Well at least she had a great orgasm before the evil bastards killed her off. It's a very well written story. Your imagination is incredible. Well done xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
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Hi Bill. Well at least she had a great orgasm before the evil bastards killed her off. It's a very well written story. Your imagination is incredible. Well done xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 10-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
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Thanks , Kiwi.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
She left by the elevator which, after reaching the twentieth floor, was sent free falling to the basement below.
Victor returned that afternoon to the news that his dear wife had been tragically killed in an elevator accident. He had successfully sidestepped his marital woes and continued in good stead with his contemporaries.'
I love your dry, sarcastic and biting tone. You are a marvelous writer and as ever I delighted in reading this work kindest regards Meia :)
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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She left by the elevator which, after reaching the twentieth floor, was sent free falling to the basement below.
Victor returned that afternoon to the news that his dear wife had been tragically killed in an elevator accident. He had successfully sidestepped his marital woes and continued in good stead with his contemporaries.'
I love your dry, sarcastic and biting tone. You are a marvelous writer and as ever I delighted in reading this work kindest regards Meia :)
Comment Written 10-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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Thanks, Meia, for the kind review. Bill
Comment from apky
Although I couldn't figure out how this story, Chiffon, tied in with the Pale sisters, I did enjoy it.
What follows, or doesn't follow, the crime committed on Chiffon, remained a mystery. Maybe it turned out to be the perfect crime after all.
Well done, Bill.
Apky
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2017
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Although I couldn't figure out how this story, Chiffon, tied in with the Pale sisters, I did enjoy it.
What follows, or doesn't follow, the crime committed on Chiffon, remained a mystery. Maybe it turned out to be the perfect crime after all.
Well done, Bill.
Apky
Comment Written 09-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2017
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As I'm building this story I am trying to flesh out some background characters. Diana Camp, a rising character since Sophia and Linda are gone, has given birth to the third Pale Sister, and becoming a love interest of Vincent Edam. Vince is son to industrialist, Victor Edam, who is a member of the Magfas. The Magfas is a shadow organization manipulating the genetic direction of certain humans since the days of Mesopotamia.
Comment from Gloria ....
Oh my land this is a take no prisoners story, Bill. Lean language, a good fast pace and all the component parts of sex, power/money and betrayal. lol. I quite enjoyed this chapter.
couple of typos
Sophia Pale was brutaly (brutally)
comiserating (commiserating) at Sabre's office.
Good read my friend.
Gloria
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2017
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Oh my land this is a take no prisoners story, Bill. Lean language, a good fast pace and all the component parts of sex, power/money and betrayal. lol. I quite enjoyed this chapter.
couple of typos
Sophia Pale was brutaly (brutally)
comiserating (commiserating) at Sabre's office.
Good read my friend.
Gloria
Comment Written 07-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2017
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Thank you, Gloria. I think my spell check has something against double consonants.
Comment from JDRBAR
Very well written, except....He got away with it? No repercussions? No blackmail by Raleigh? No questions? Maybe I should just wait for the next chapter. I like this story.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2017
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Very well written, except....He got away with it? No repercussions? No blackmail by Raleigh? No questions? Maybe I should just wait for the next chapter. I like this story.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2017
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This is chapter nineteen, so a few things have occurred and Raleigh Sabre is the chief nemesis of the story.
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Okay. Maybe I'll go back and browse.
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Sophia Pale was brutally assaulted and her husband murdered (ritual of sacrifice and insemination). She became pregnant and moved in with her aunt, Amanda (Magfas alumna). One year later she was kidnapped by the same men again; raped in a bizarre ritual, and then arrested for murder (One of the rapists was the sacrifice and then Sophia was framed for his murder). She was sent to prison and had another child (first child could be her husbands or rapists'. second child from the assault). Amanda had adopted Sophia's children. Sophia met Diana in prison. Sophia and Diana are both sexually assaulted together in a similar ritual (Diana is working with the Magfas). Sophia met Linda of the Kolk (an etheral race that inhabit people) and learned some things. Amanda (who has begun cleaning house: shooting one rapist in the head and having another's head twisted around backwards) headed to the prison to deal with Sophia and Linda (Amanda knows Linda is Kolk because records show she was a Siamese twin survivor). Diana and Linda left prison in different ways. Sophia left her body and joined the Kolk. Linda escaped from a hospital (poking out a bad guy sheriff's eyeball) and later left her body to enter that of Amanda Lee's nurse, giving the Kolk access to the Magfas and the Pale Sisters. Diana gave birth to the third child (also a siamese twin survivor), Cancer, to complete the Triad Queens (who are destined to change reality) of the Magfas.
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|Thank you for the clarification. Things click now.
Comment from Ricky1024
This MAGRAS, a cult?
A little hard to ping with the beginnings ..
All the births and death.
Then the last one with his lover?
Seems a little deranged with the beginnings sharing no possible link?
Ricky 1024
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2017
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This MAGRAS, a cult?
A little hard to ping with the beginnings ..
All the births and death.
Then the last one with his lover?
Seems a little deranged with the beginnings sharing no possible link?
Ricky 1024
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2017
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This is chapter 18, so a lot has happened
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
In continuation of the fiction of Pale Sisters, new characters came in; Victor is not a successful engineering businessman, just prospering but his wife was killed; Vincent is happy with his successful son; I liked.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2017
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In continuation of the fiction of Pale Sisters, new characters came in; Victor is not a successful engineering businessman, just prospering but his wife was killed; Vincent is happy with his successful son; I liked.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2017
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Thanks, ALD
