The Animal Doctor
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "A New Beginning"Love Among the Thorns
31 total reviews
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, amahra, you did an excellent job writing this chapter where nathan and grace are engaged, he meets her family and then heads home to have a welcoming party including eva. he tries to break the news about grace to her. i spotted one error==don't contaminate my beau, not bow.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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this is very well written, amahra, you did an excellent job writing this chapter where nathan and grace are engaged, he meets her family and then heads home to have a welcoming party including eva. he tries to break the news about grace to her. i spotted one error==don't contaminate my beau, not bow.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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LOL Thanks for catching that error. Don't know what I was thinking. And I'm glad you stop by and read.
Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens
What an exciting chapter, I personally am glad you went on and completed it. Please don't shorten it. I felt like I had a real reading session. :-) Was a bit upset with Nathan for falling right into bed with Eva after just leaving Grace, but, I guess that is how it goes. Now if Eva just doesn't get pregnant. That would be a mess. The pigeon story was priceless. I think I have seen a documentary on Cher Ami. Keep it coming, have a great day. Carolyn
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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What an exciting chapter, I personally am glad you went on and completed it. Please don't shorten it. I felt like I had a real reading session. :-) Was a bit upset with Nathan for falling right into bed with Eva after just leaving Grace, but, I guess that is how it goes. Now if Eva just doesn't get pregnant. That would be a mess. The pigeon story was priceless. I think I have seen a documentary on Cher Ami. Keep it coming, have a great day. Carolyn
Comment Written 07-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much Carolyn for taking the time to read and review my story. Oh, Eva can't have children. She lied to Nathan about losing their baby.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Great story and well written! There are a few type-O's, that I hesitated to bring up, but thought you'd like to know. Your story does everything that a good story is supposed to, and some of your vivid scenes make us envious of Nate. LOL
Thanks for a great read!
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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Great story and well written! There are a few type-O's, that I hesitated to bring up, but thought you'd like to know. Your story does everything that a good story is supposed to, and some of your vivid scenes make us envious of Nate. LOL
Thanks for a great read!
Comment Written 07-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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Thank you Ric. Now I wonder just what those scenes are...LOL
Comment from Selina Stambi
Hi Harriett, my friend,
Another creative chapter from your virtual pen. The formatting, especially of the dialogue, is well done and made the long chapter much more readable.
I have to confess that I have doubts about Nathan's character - this has nothing to do with your skill as a writer, of course.
If I were Grace, I'd be devastated to know that a man whose ring I wear, hasn't seen fit to tell me that he is living with another woman and has been for a long time.
I can't understand how he is now engaged and goes back to Eva - it's not fair by Eva too - that he allowed himself to get involved with another woman and never thought to let her know.
The worst is, that he continues a sexual relationship with Eva, while he has a "virtuous" fianc©e.
Even by present day standards this is a bit much. I think the standards were much higher decades ago.
His behavior would make him what the British would call a CAD!
I'm waiting to see how things work out.
I really enjoyed the pigeon story.
Have a great week, my dear.
Love,
Sonali :)
Spags:
beyond her fondest dream(s).
awaited her response (not responds)
as if nothing could be more exuberant for Nathan than to ... exuberant is not the word you need here ... suggest exciting/wonderful/joyful
the grace and charm that waft(ed) from her parents
swam in a nearby (not near-by) lake
and picnicked under the shady (not shade) trees
How do you do, Mrs Nevers (?)
He then turned his focus (not focused) back
He's just jealous 'cause (not caused) I'm better looking,"
don't want you contaminating my beau (not bow)," Grace said,
home was long and bittersweet (not bitter sweet).
but couldn't shake (off) the horrors of the
Eva and Nathan climbed into (not onto) the back
where Nathan could bath(e) and put on .... (bathe/take a bath)
The Korens (no apostrophe) had planned
The Korens (no apostrophe) were overjoyed
Koren had taken (not took) care of the most difficult ones
"(A)w!" they said in unison
the capsule and were (not was) shocked at what they
thanked the Korens (no apostrophe) for a
Nathan treated Eva warmly, but distant... suggest: .. Nathan was warm but distant towards Eva
Her sweet scent (lit)lid up the room.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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Hi Harriett, my friend,
Another creative chapter from your virtual pen. The formatting, especially of the dialogue, is well done and made the long chapter much more readable.
I have to confess that I have doubts about Nathan's character - this has nothing to do with your skill as a writer, of course.
If I were Grace, I'd be devastated to know that a man whose ring I wear, hasn't seen fit to tell me that he is living with another woman and has been for a long time.
I can't understand how he is now engaged and goes back to Eva - it's not fair by Eva too - that he allowed himself to get involved with another woman and never thought to let her know.
The worst is, that he continues a sexual relationship with Eva, while he has a "virtuous" fianc©e.
Even by present day standards this is a bit much. I think the standards were much higher decades ago.
His behavior would make him what the British would call a CAD!
I'm waiting to see how things work out.
I really enjoyed the pigeon story.
Have a great week, my dear.
Love,
Sonali :)
Spags:
beyond her fondest dream(s).
awaited her response (not responds)
as if nothing could be more exuberant for Nathan than to ... exuberant is not the word you need here ... suggest exciting/wonderful/joyful
the grace and charm that waft(ed) from her parents
swam in a nearby (not near-by) lake
and picnicked under the shady (not shade) trees
How do you do, Mrs Nevers (?)
He then turned his focus (not focused) back
He's just jealous 'cause (not caused) I'm better looking,"
don't want you contaminating my beau (not bow)," Grace said,
home was long and bittersweet (not bitter sweet).
but couldn't shake (off) the horrors of the
Eva and Nathan climbed into (not onto) the back
where Nathan could bath(e) and put on .... (bathe/take a bath)
The Korens (no apostrophe) had planned
The Korens (no apostrophe) were overjoyed
Koren had taken (not took) care of the most difficult ones
"(A)w!" they said in unison
the capsule and were (not was) shocked at what they
thanked the Korens (no apostrophe) for a
Nathan treated Eva warmly, but distant... suggest: .. Nathan was warm but distant towards Eva
Her sweet scent (lit)lid up the room.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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Wow, how did I get a five star out of that. Thank you for seeing through the mistakes and giving the story this rating. I edited this thing until I was blue in the face and still missed a 100 errors. Blessing, my dear.
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Blessings back to you, dear "Aunty" Harriett!
hugs xxx
Comment from barkingdog
It looks like Nate is in quite a dilema. If he keeps having sex with Eva, she may end up pregnant and there goes Grace, the love of his life.
I really enjoyed the contrast between the two girls in his life and look forward to seeing how this works out.
The pigeon story was good. I don't see any problem with it being in your book.
:) ellen
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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It looks like Nate is in quite a dilema. If he keeps having sex with Eva, she may end up pregnant and there goes Grace, the love of his life.
I really enjoyed the contrast between the two girls in his life and look forward to seeing how this works out.
The pigeon story was good. I don't see any problem with it being in your book.
:) ellen
Comment Written 07-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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Thanks ellen. I enjoyed writing the pigeon story. You seem to be one of few who see Nathan for who he really is...a nice guy with issues. I always look forward to your reviews, my dear.
Comment from Norbanus
This is a powerful segment, and an excellent example of how to show the character's emotions. The dialogue is great especially telling the pigeon story to the children. And pulling the suspense strings taught with the closing is perfect.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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This is a powerful segment, and an excellent example of how to show the character's emotions. The dialogue is great especially telling the pigeon story to the children. And pulling the suspense strings taught with the closing is perfect.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much for enjoying the pigeon story. I loved writing it. And thank you for this review.
Comment from emjaihammond
It's not too long, as it is entertaining and very relevant to your story. You have a good amount of money paid out for reviewers and it reads very well and quickly. It is well written, amahra. The pigeon story adds to it and gives us a chance to hear from the children who are important to Nate. I noticed one little error, or I think it is. You can decide. I think the word bow is spelled beau for the meaning you have in mind. Thanks for sharing the story.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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It's not too long, as it is entertaining and very relevant to your story. You have a good amount of money paid out for reviewers and it reads very well and quickly. It is well written, amahra. The pigeon story adds to it and gives us a chance to hear from the children who are important to Nate. I noticed one little error, or I think it is. You can decide. I think the word bow is spelled beau for the meaning you have in mind. Thanks for sharing the story.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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LOL, yes it is spelled beau. You're the third to point it out. Thank you, my dear.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
my bow, (should be 'her beau')
Nathan could bath and (bathe)
She asked her confidant if it were battle fatigue. (was or could be)
"aw!" they said in unison (capitalize Aw)
A very well written story with a good storyline and well developed characters. I think I read a part of this earlier and think this is moving along well. A few spags, otherwise, excellent~Debbie
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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my bow, (should be 'her beau')
Nathan could bath and (bathe)
She asked her confidant if it were battle fatigue. (was or could be)
"aw!" they said in unison (capitalize Aw)
A very well written story with a good storyline and well developed characters. I think I read a part of this earlier and think this is moving along well. A few spags, otherwise, excellent~Debbie
Comment Written 07-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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Thank you Debbie. I'll get right on the spags, my dear.
Comment from Nosha17
I am new to this story, but feel it has good potential. I felt the proposal scene between Nate and Grace a little contrite and simplistic, I think it should be adjusted to be a little less predictable. It seems like it is going to be a good storyline and the characters are varied, sympathetic and complicated. Well written excerpt.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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I am new to this story, but feel it has good potential. I felt the proposal scene between Nate and Grace a little contrite and simplistic, I think it should be adjusted to be a little less predictable. It seems like it is going to be a good storyline and the characters are varied, sympathetic and complicated. Well written excerpt.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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Thank you for stopping by Nosha17. But, the fact that Nathan proposed to Grace knowing he had a woman back in the States was a shock to my readers who have kept up with the story. When you get time, I would love for you to read some of the previous chapters. Blessings, my dear.
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I would like that, too. Best of luck with the book. I posted my first poem yesterday, in case you would like to read it. It was "Love Poem". I am happy it got good ratings.Faye
Comment from Auroraboreal800
I really enjoyed this new chapter. This is well written and kept me riveted to the page. I like the good dialogues in this piece. Thanks for sharing.
GREAT job!
:)
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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I really enjoyed this new chapter. This is well written and kept me riveted to the page. I like the good dialogues in this piece. Thanks for sharing.
GREAT job!
:)
Comment Written 07-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much.
