The Heart of Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Eagles eye (Tableau)"'Tis not the Bard, but pretty good poetry anyway
19 total reviews
Comment from Domino 2
I never heard of this form before, but you sure execute it with aplomb.
Excellent images created in word economy - similar to an excellent haiku.
That poor rabbit has little chance.
Cheers, Ted
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2013
  |
I never heard of this form before, but you sure execute it with aplomb.
Excellent images created in word economy - similar to an excellent haiku.
That poor rabbit has little chance.
Cheers, Ted
Comment Written 18-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2013
-
Hi Ted, Yep he is in trouble.... Thanks for your great review and for liking this Tableau. Carolyn
Comment from Gert sherwood
Very nice notesandmore
a wonderful Tableau.
Yes your very vivid words are a painted themselves to describe the power of the Eagle's eyes.
Gert
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2013
|
Very nice notesandmore
a wonderful Tableau.
Yes your very vivid words are a painted themselves to describe the power of the Eagle's eyes.
Gert
Comment Written 17-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2013
-
Thanks for the nice comments, I am happy you enjoyed this one. Carolyn
Comment from Capricorn30
A well-crafted writing incorporating good alliteration;
A detailed view of an eagle's flight expressed in a Tableau of nature's splendor.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
|
A well-crafted writing incorporating good alliteration;
A detailed view of an eagle's flight expressed in a Tableau of nature's splendor.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
-
I am happy you enjoyed this one. Your review and stars mean a lot to me. Carolyn
Comment from Spitfire
LOL. I guess buffaloes would look from rabbits from that high in the sky. Nice alliteration in golden grass, peers and plains. Playful near rhyme in rabbits habitat.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2013
|
LOL. I guess buffaloes would look from rabbits from that high in the sky. Nice alliteration in golden grass, peers and plains. Playful near rhyme in rabbits habitat.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2013
-
Thanks for a great review, glad you enjoyed this one. Carolyn
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes this is well written my friend you have done very well with the imagery enclosed in your poem it is beautiful I am playing catch up please forgive me regards Jill
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2013
|
Yes this is well written my friend you have done very well with the imagery enclosed in your poem it is beautiful I am playing catch up please forgive me regards Jill
Comment Written 14-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2013
-
I understand catch up. Glad you enjoyed this one Jill, :-) Carolyn
Comment from GE Parson
Greetings from Topeka, Ks.
Love your poem. Reminded me of a passage that says God locket to & fro from heaven seeing all that men do, both good ad evil.
Was reading some of you correspondence and you mentor you children lived in Overland Park for awhile. I have a good Preacher Fiend who has been Pastor Of the Baptist Church for a number of years, now moving to Des Moines, Ia. I as wondering if they attended that church. Pastor name Nathan Gast
Your Friend, Jerry
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2013
|
Greetings from Topeka, Ks.
Love your poem. Reminded me of a passage that says God locket to & fro from heaven seeing all that men do, both good ad evil.
Was reading some of you correspondence and you mentor you children lived in Overland Park for awhile. I have a good Preacher Fiend who has been Pastor Of the Baptist Church for a number of years, now moving to Des Moines, Ia. I as wondering if they attended that church. Pastor name Nathan Gast
Your Friend, Jerry
Comment Written 14-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2013
-
Hi there and thanks for the nice review, the church is Overland Park Church of Christ where they were members. Thank you for remembering that Jerry, have a great weekend. Carolyn
Comment from Sagnik Das
Carolyn, I can never commend you enough, for the stupendous depth & prowess, wherewith you have glorified this metaphoric format - Indeed, this is a very novel concept, not for me alone, but for the vast majority of writers here at FS! - Being such fraught in picturesque imagery (often a bit 'abstract') & concise in brevity, I can clearly foresee a lasting prospect for this poetic format, in the 'upcoming tide of times' ..... Wonderfully improvised, my dear friend!
:)
PS ~ However, there is one thing I would like to admonish you about the structure, Carolyn - you know, a 'Tableau' need not always adhere to the prescribed five-syllabic rule. And this I found after considerable research & analysis (especially over the more traditional aspects of the format). For instance, consider this - one which I have taken the liberty to annex herewith, for your hearty perusal & consideration :
A Tableau - By Countee Cullen ((30 May 1903 - 9 January 1946 [New York Edition] ) :-
Locked arm in arm they cross the way
The black boy and the white,
The golden splendor of the day
The sable pride of night.
From lowered blinds the dark folk stare
And here the fair folk talk,
Indignant that these two should dare
In unison to walk.
Oblivious to look and word
They pass, and see no wonder
That lightning brilliant as a sword
Should blaze the path of thunder.
------------------------
Now, what do you reckon as to that? ...
:)
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2013
|
Carolyn, I can never commend you enough, for the stupendous depth & prowess, wherewith you have glorified this metaphoric format - Indeed, this is a very novel concept, not for me alone, but for the vast majority of writers here at FS! - Being such fraught in picturesque imagery (often a bit 'abstract') & concise in brevity, I can clearly foresee a lasting prospect for this poetic format, in the 'upcoming tide of times' ..... Wonderfully improvised, my dear friend!
:)
PS ~ However, there is one thing I would like to admonish you about the structure, Carolyn - you know, a 'Tableau' need not always adhere to the prescribed five-syllabic rule. And this I found after considerable research & analysis (especially over the more traditional aspects of the format). For instance, consider this - one which I have taken the liberty to annex herewith, for your hearty perusal & consideration :
A Tableau - By Countee Cullen ((30 May 1903 - 9 January 1946 [New York Edition] ) :-
Locked arm in arm they cross the way
The black boy and the white,
The golden splendor of the day
The sable pride of night.
From lowered blinds the dark folk stare
And here the fair folk talk,
Indignant that these two should dare
In unison to walk.
Oblivious to look and word
They pass, and see no wonder
That lightning brilliant as a sword
Should blaze the path of thunder.
------------------------
Now, what do you reckon as to that? ...
:)
Comment Written 13-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2013
-
Hi there my dear friend and fellow poet. This was a fun one to write. I gave credit on the author notes to the poet who started the form on FS. But I must admit, I learned so much from your own wonderful revelation. Thank you as usual for the through and intense manner in which you review my work. It blesses me to be so fortunate to have you as my 'editor'. You are most assuredly my most coveted mentor.
On a personal note. I am out of town at the moment and on my 'trusty' laptop. My eldest sister had surgery on her arthritic hand and I am staying with her for the night as she just got out of the hospital today and needs assistance. So I am shutting down for the night and shall not get to do reviews. But I had to do my replies. Thank you again so much. Study hard and do your best in school, you have a marvelous future ahead of you. I just know you are headed for greatness. Love, Carolyn
-
Dear me! - Then I would on no account augment your dismay further, Carolyn, by keeping you engrossed, with a 'massive' reply (just the kind I normally vouchsafe, LOL) ... guess I am a wee bit sentimental ...
I shall fervently pray, & apprehend her infirmity to assuage once and for all .... May she convalesce early, & return to you all in cheerful mettle ... Take good care of your own self as well, my beloved friend - always remember of Florence Nightingale in such cases.
My love & regards to you.
:)
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Dear Carolyn,
A new form of poetry I didn't know - so thanks for this delight. I liked it - expressive imagery did indeed create a perfect visual for me. Nicely penned my friend.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2013
|
Dear Carolyn,
A new form of poetry I didn't know - so thanks for this delight. I liked it - expressive imagery did indeed create a perfect visual for me. Nicely penned my friend.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
Comment Written 13-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2013
-
Thanks Maureen, I'm happy you enjoyed this, it was new to me and I think it will become a favorite. I hope you are having a wonderful weekend. Love, Carolyn
Comment from adewpearl
peers ore plains - o'er plains
soar/peer/wallow - strong verb choices add power and life to this scene
good consonance and alliteration in lush tall golden grass
eagle's eye/rabbit's habitat - add apostrophes for possessive
vivid descriptive detail :-) Brooke
Eagle's Eye - add apostrophe for possessive
good alliteration in peers o'er plans, golden grass
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2013
|
peers ore plains - o'er plains
soar/peer/wallow - strong verb choices add power and life to this scene
good consonance and alliteration in lush tall golden grass
eagle's eye/rabbit's habitat - add apostrophes for possessive
vivid descriptive detail :-) Brooke
Eagle's Eye - add apostrophe for possessive
good alliteration in peers o'er plans, golden grass
Comment Written 12-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2013
-
I appreciate your wonderful review and rating Brooke, thanks for taking the time. :-) Carolyn
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Thanks for sharing this 'tableau' poem, Carolyn. It is the first time that I have seen one.
Great imagery created for your reader, and you found the perfect picture to accompany your poem.
Well done!
bichonfrisegirl aka Connie
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2013
|
Thanks for sharing this 'tableau' poem, Carolyn. It is the first time that I have seen one.
Great imagery created for your reader, and you found the perfect picture to accompany your poem.
Well done!
bichonfrisegirl aka Connie
Comment Written 12-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2013
-
Thanks Connie, I'm not sure if a Tableau should even have a picture, except the one it creates in the readers mind. But this one was just to perfect. So glad you enjoyed it. Carolyn
